If you have s*x before marriage, does that mean u've ruined your relationship with ur partner?

Question

i'm just wondering what u guys think. i'm 18 and i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months now. i'm still a virgin and i want to wait till we're married. but the thing is I'll probs get marry when university is over and that is quite a long time. he's the first person i've felt like this about. we're really really close in every way. so i don't want to ruin our long term relationship by having s*x as i've heard that s*x before marriage can ruin the relationship in the future and that you enjoy s*x much more if you are a virgin till u get married. so just asking for ur opinions, is it worth waiting or not? i mean we do get very horny at times, but then again i don't know what i'm missing on.

so what do you think?

Answer 1

Ask yourself this, would you run the mile in high healed shoes? That is your answer.

Answer 2

Is it worth waiting? The question is: is it worth waiting for YOU? And for your boyfriend? This is something only the two of you can answer. You guys need to figure out what's important and go with that. Good luck!

Answer 3

Learn your chem before the alter

Answer 4

s*x is 75% in a relationship. People can bullshit you and tell you, no it's about the love and blah blah blah. That only happens in movies. In order to have love and passion and communication and trust, you have to have a good s*x life with your partner. Does he just have s*x with you or does he make sure you're pleased as well? Does he make sure you finish first before him? does he fit right? is there chemistry for both? attraction? And is he the only guy you want to have s*x with for the rest of your life? remember you'll be seeing him everyday and every night, can you handle it?

Answer 5

No of course it doesn't.

Harriet

Answer 6

It is definately worth waiting for, though I think you should do what your heart tells you and you should go with what you feel is right for you.. Personally I think you wanting to wait for marriage is fabulous and you shouldn't question it. You could end up regretting it if you do it before and it can't be taken back. But I'm only mentioning the regret thing if you truly feel that you're not ready to do it now and you want to wait. Only you will know what you need to do... I am 23 and lost my virginity not too long ago and I would have wanted to wait to be married first but the love, feelings, understanding, loyalty, trust, commitment and friendship, not to mention desire, attraction and so many other things, between us had confirmed in my mind that it was right for us as a couple. I know without question that we're meant to be together always and I don't regret losing my virginity to him. Even though we're not married and we don't live together, that bond and undefinable connection is there and will be there, after we married, just as strong and if not, more so. So for me personally, s*x has not ruined my relationship with my boyfriend. It's allowed us both the opportunity to get to know eachother on the most intimate level that only two people INLOVE can experience. I feel it's brought us a lot closer but we don't ignore the other important things in a relationship needed to keep it healthy and successful..

Good luck, I'm sure you'll make the right decision - just listen to your inner voice and feelings and don't doubt it - Also, you need to know if it's worth it to lose your virginity to your boyfriend, would he be willing to wait for you to be married before having s*x (if that's what you ultimately had to decide)?

Answer 7

In my opinion s*x makes the relationship bond stronger.

Answer 8

i think its really good that you are wanting to wait until marrage.

:)

its upto you if you want to continue and do it with him.

just think if you do it, your relationship will be so much stronger, but then again you might do it with him, and not saying you will, but might break up in the next couple of months.

if you dont do it, you can wait till marriage.

just listen to your heart, what does it say?

Answer 9

Not at all. My husband and I had s*x on our first date, and we knew then we were perfect for each other. It was like magic.

Five years of marriage and 3 kids later, the s*x is still great. Nothing is ruined at all. Whoever told you that must have had a bad relationship. The s*x had nothing to do it. They were doomed to begin with. If you have the right partner, everything will be great.  

Answer 10

The idea that s*x will be so much better if you wait until after you're married is total BS.

In the bad old days when this was the norm (mainly because men did not want to marry "damaged goods"), it was also the norm for couples to find out that they were sexually incompatible only after they'd made a commitment to each other. In the REALLY bad old days, that didn't matter and they were stuck with each other because divorces were so difficult to obtain.

If you and your boyfriend have been together for the better part of a year and the close emotional and intellectual bonds between you have, over that time, become ever deeper and more serious, I see no reason why you need to draw the line at expressing your feelings for each other in the most intimate way possible. Why should having s*x ruin what you have now? If, as is very common, it is not an ecstatic joining from the very start and the two of you have to work a little to improve things, it seems to me far better to do that when you don't have the thought at the back of your head that, if you don't sort this out now, you're doomed to a life of sexual frustration.

It also seems to me that it's far more likely that you will enjoy the first time if you and your boyfriend can organise things so it happens in a calm, happy, loving atmosphere, rather than on the evening of your marriage when you both will be feeling tired, possibly a bit squiffy and under pressure to make it a memorable wedding night for each other.

You say you get very horny at times and that's understandable. There are, of course, lots of things you two can do which do not count as "having s*x" in some peoples' definition of that phrase but do allow you to relieve the pressure for each other while still leaving undone special things which you can look forward to on your wedding night.

Answer 11

Poor guy...If you make him wait to long he will find some strange on the side, and I am being completely honest.