If you just want to invite a couple and not their kids to your wedding...is it rude?

Question

we have a large family, and we're trying to keep it as less outsiders as possible,

is it rude to have just the couples and no kids?

Answer 1

As long as your consistent with kids that are not your own or your immediate siblings yes.

We allowed only children who were immediate family members and there was almost no issues.

Answer 2

No it is not rude but you have to accept that they may not be able to or won't come to the wedding if their children aren't invited.

Answer 3

no way. my girls haven't been invited to a friends reception or wedding a few times, and they've been fine with it and so hav i !

Answer 4

I don't think its rude.  I would highly recommend you put on the invitation you send them "no children please" or something along those lines.  etiquette may be different but I have noticed that many people don't actually go by etiquette and their feelings may be more hurt if you aren't up front about it.  Besides we all know that more guests = more money and I think most people are understanding about that.

Answer 5

It depends on whether you are excluding just one couple's children or whether it is an adults only wedding. If it is an adults only wedding, it is not so much rude, but some people may find it rude. If it is just one couple's children, then, yes, it is definitely rude.

I hope this makes sense.

Answer 6

Not rude, just put Adult's only on all your invites. Don't waver. It should be no biggy. Eveyrone looks for a night out and away from thier kids anyway. I plan on my wedding and reception being adults only. It's your day, do what you want. Those that love you will be there with no fuss.

Answer 7

This is obviously going to be an unpopular opinion--but yes.  I think it's exceptionally rude.  Not only are you forcing parents to fork out the expense of child care, but you're excluding half your family from your big day.  It may not mean much to you, but I remember every wedding I've ever been to.  And I also remember when my Uncle Mark said kids weren't allowed to his wedding--and I was 7.  I was very disappointed.

Answer 8

it's totally understandable.

Answer 9

brwneyes said it. If you're going totally adults-online its not rude at all. If you excluding certain people, personally, I think its a little rude.

Answer 10

Depends on who is getting invited. If you are inviting all the family members over 18 then yes, it is somewhat rude - 16-year-old cousins are just as much your family as your great-aunt-Ethel who you see once every three years. If you're just not inviting your cousins' kids who you haven't really seen, then no.

But remember - you will lose a lot of people to this. Let the kids come to the wedding, and have just the reception be adults-only. Solves the problem of your 16-year-old cousin too - they get to be there for the part people care about, and don't have to go to a late-night party. You'll still lose mothers of small children - no one wants to have to constantly leave to express - but much fewer than otherwise.

Answer 11

Not at all.  Children are great but they don't have to be glued to their parents 24/7.  Weddings can be pretty elegant affairs and children would not fit in, let alone probably be bored senseless.  The only children we are having are the flower girl and ring bearer.

Answer 12

No it isn't rude, I have been to weddings where no kids were allowed and nobody complained.

I think the parents were glad to have time away from them lol.

Good luck and do what you want its your day.

Answer 13

no, people do it all the time

Answer 14

its not rude !  

Answer 15

It isn't rude at all. My friends all assume that their children aren't invited to adult occassions unless their names are on the invitation and I think that weddings are def. adult occassions.

You should be uniform with your decision, if you let your cousin bring their child and not your friend then that will be viewed as rude. The only exception to this rule is immediate family (ie. younger siblings, nieces and nephews) and any Jnrs in the bridal party.

Answer 16

for others it might sound rude but let them know the reason why and im sure they'll understand.

Answer 17

I don't think it's rude at all.  I'll probably get blasted for this, but I believe wedding receptions should be a celebration for adults anyway.  Just be up front with everyone that the reception will be small and adults only.

If you have the extra finances, you could see about setting up a separate "babysitting" area where people can drop their kids off and come to the reception.  

Good luck.

Answer 18

No, it's not rude.  People do it all the time.  Specifying on the invitation that the event is "adult-only" is key.  that way you are dis-inviting without directing it at them personally.  good luck!

Answer 19

Nope. I did it and everything worked out dandy for me. Kids are nice, but the younger ones can be a disruption during the ceremony and reception.

Answer 20

nope not at all. i know a lot of people that have done that for their weddings!!!! to put it nicely...kids are a NIGHTMARE sometimes!!! just go for whatever will make you happy on your wedding day...its your day...not theirs :)

Answer 21

Not at all. We're not allowing kids under the age of 13 at our wedding, and we're really happy we stuck to our guns on this one. Not only has it kept the guest list down to where we need it, we don't have to worry about screaming babies during toasts or the ceremony, kids making messes or being overall terrors, or entertaining them for the night at the reception.

You can either have a note on the invitation that says, "Adult reception." Or, you can simply address the invitations to the couples only, and don't write, "and family" because that implies kids can attend. Then also supplement that with having your parents and weeding party spread the word.

Some people will get ticked, and just expect that. Simply say, if they ask, "I'm sorry, but as much as we love little Timmy, we have to keep our guest list down as we're already at maximum capacity with our venue. We made a general rule about children, so it's not just you. I hope you can understand."

I've found that some parents are happy about it because that means a free night for them away from the kids ... and they'll be able to drink and enjoy themselves.

Hope that helps!

Answer 22

Nope, IMO weddings are for adults not children.

Answer 23

It is perfectly fine.