If you lie because you have a disability because you don't want to explain it, is that wrong?

Question

If someone asks why I'm late or why I can't make it to some event, and its because of a chronic illness, and I say I can't make it because of car trouble, etc. is that morally wrong? I don't like having to tell everyone I have a chronic illness, as some people don't understand.

Answer 1

Just tell them you didn't feel like it.  Some people don't believe the truth anyway.

Answer 2

It is better to put it out into the open.

Socially it is not really a problem if you cover it up but if friends find out the truth they will resent the fact that you have lied to them and feel that you did not trust them.

But please also realize that if you cover it up when applying for a job then you would in all likelihood be committing a serious criminal offense!!

Answer 3

Yes, it is wrong. First of all, there are only so many excuses you can make before someone becomes suspicious. After that you will forever be labeled a 'flake'. And even the people that would have understood had you just been honest wouldn't trust you.

Instead you could just say 'for personal reasons' to people that aren't really close to you, it's not their business anyway. And for people that are close, tell them the truth. I bet you underestimate people and the ones that really know the person that you are WILL understand.

Answer 4

no, that would be you coping with your disability instead of using it like a crutch.  

Answer 5

If they don't understand, they are of no value to you as a person anyway.  Lying leads to more lying and then you have to remember what lie you told when.

Telling a person the truth is a litmus test which will give you and indication if this person or people are really interested in you for YOU.

Your illness is part of you. I certainly wouldn't want you to tell me a lie to get my acceptance of friendship.  I will take you as you are and I don't even know you dear.

Answer 6

I would say it's not morally wrong, and your reasons for not divulging personal information is certainly understandable, but constant lying can get you in trouble. People could start to catch on and you might get in trouble or people might make incorrect assumptions about you. Tell people that you can trust in situations where you feel comfortable, and try to keep the rest of the lying to a minimum.

Answer 7

No it's not morally wrong but people who have common sense and some compassion definitely would not judge you.. that is not your fault.. there is no need to feel guilty about it.. maybe if they knew, then they would visit you, even if you have a chronic illness and are maybe weak, you should not give up on friends.. if they are real friends then you don'[t have to make excuses, they will understand you a lot better if you were unwell and arive late.. and if you feel really bad otherwise healthy people say they have a headache and can't make it or that someone else in their family needs their attention as someone is sick.. and you have a chronic illness and it's genuine therefore I would not hide behind it.. just tell them.. not to pity you.. nobody wants pity when they are ill but everyone needs compassion and understanding and to be treated with dignity..

Answer 8

Only you can answer that question. If you have a disability that adversely affects your perceived "public" image, then why not use it to your advantage?