If you say you are modest, are you really being modest?

Question

It's just a question I've been pondering for quite sometime.

And if you're wondering, modest means:

having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.

Answer 1

It probably depends on whether its true or not and how it fits into context of the conversation you are having.

If you are merely stating a fact about yourself... like in a conversation such as this about where you stand on the modest/immodest spectrum, you can probably still call yourself modest if you really do consider yourself modest.

If you are calling yourself modest as if it were some kind of an accomplishment... then its immodest. Especially if its not true.

A Wikipedia article on the topic of modesty says that in principle, Modesty avoids "insincere self-abasement through false or sham modesty, which is a form of boasting" as well as downplaying one's accomplishments.

Rejecting compliments is rude though. Its not so important that you agree with the compliment or not, but that you appreciate their good intentions. People don't usually go out of their way to give specific compliments like that (looks, singing) unless they mean it. Saying that you are not so good looking or good at singing doesn't sound modest. It sounds like you are saying their opinion is invalid and missing the whole point which is the effort to make you feel good about yourself. You would be cheating this kind person out of the privilege of sharing a nice/friendly moment with you socially and at the same time making the person feel stupid and ultimately regret for making the effort.

You would also be making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. You are maybe presuming by their enthusiasm that they think you are the best singer in the world making you feel compelled to correct the person... simply because you know better singers than you exist out there. You miss the central idea of a compliment. The thing about compliments is that they are based on OPINION... not fact. Who are you to tell someone that they can't be pleased by your singing or your hairstyle or whatever? They like your singing and they want you to know it. It has nothing to do with how you compare to other singers.

Answer 2

hummmmmm....I think that one wouldn't describe themselves as modest if they were truly modest.  

Answer 3

Modesty speaks for itself.  

Answer 4

If you are modest for real no need to announce it.

Answer 5

I don't think modesty means that you can't be truthful. If you are truly modest and you humbly describe yourself as such, you are just being truthful.  

Answer 6

I think it depends on the person and their attitude as they're saying it. I would tend to think that calling yourself modest negates the modesty, but I'm sure there are exceptions...like maybe people with very low self esteem.

Answer 7

LOL! I have always thought about that question!

I think you would still be modest if you said, "I'm sort of modest..."

Otherwise...

I'm not sure.

o.O