If you think the 4 is too young, at what age should schools introduce s*x and relationship education?

Question

What is an appropriate age to start talking to children about their bodies, boundaries, and relationships? At what age should they learn the proper names of their 'bits' and who should tell them?

Answer 1

i think 11-12 is fine.

Here in India, in most Convent Schools, every girl is given a little book at school to be discussed with her Mum...its called "Everything a girl should know"...Not a bit graphic but gets the right points accross nicely. Its nice that its comes from school but needs to be discussed with one's Mum.

Answer 2

There is a scene in the film 'Click' where a man sees his dog having s*x and says to his children "That's not wrestling that's something you shouldn't know about for another 10 to 30 years. 10 for you,30 for you".

Answer 3

63 years old

Answer 4

kids start getting curious at about 7 so i think the parents should give them a little innocent talk just so they dont believe the wrong rumours floating around at school

but s*x ed at school should start in grade 6

some schools dont even have s*x ed in primary schools, it doesnt really matter though

but it's definetly needed by yr 7

Answer 5

Oh dear!

Every year the rate of teenage pregnancy climbs in England to a higher figure.  The standard response of the ever failing "s*x education" industry is to demand even more resources to reach even younger children, and they are now suggesting infant children.

What will these guys suggest when this does not work either; pre school s*x education?

Is there one single teenage girl in England who is pregnant and is unsure what caused it?

Answer 6

It does not matter which age you start at because the girls of today put themselves about, and to me they are worse than tramps. I am pleased that my two girls were brought up with a very strict Mother...me ! and I stood no nonsense from either of them, so with that I had no problems at all, and they both got married in Church where they were christened , and now have very good lives.Its what happens in the home that counts and how you bring them up.

Answer 7

Children should learn when they are ready, and they are not ready until they hit puberty which would make not telling them until they turn 10 - 11ish about right. Whats the point of telling them when they are 4? you may as well tell them about the Easter bunny and Santa Claus too.

As for 12 year old's having babies that my friend is statutory rape regardless and that would be up to the parents to pursue  (and ask where they went wrong).

Answer 8

Parents will know when their kids are ready for that discussion..... that is if the parents care or spend any time with their children.

The more responsibility the state/g'vt takes for raising our children, the less parents take their job seriously.

In my view this is NOT a schoo subject, even though I had this class in school at about the age of 9 or 10. It was only one session and more like a science class - it wasn't weird.

But anyway - parents need to start acting like parents.

Answer 9

From Day One.

It's the parent's job to teach a kid - it goes with personal hygiene, good manners and considerate behaviour.

I was an only child, and brought up in total ignorance - was ten before I actually knew how boys differed from girls.

Puberty? my mum shoved me into an armchair, shoved the old "Family Doctor" booklet into my hand - and fled.

My s*x education really came from the "bad girls" at school - in the early 60s -  their sheer relief at having a period kept me a "good girl" more than any amount of moralising.

Yes, these things should be taught at home, or at school by default. It's a life skill, after all, like sensible eating. Just get on with it.

Answer 10

s*x education should begin, in the home , as soon as a baby is able to touch him/herself, when he /she is being potty trained and people should use the real names like p***s and v****a and not cutesy ones.

This should be continued all through school, even into college, along with parental discussions.

The problem lies not with the schools teaching s*x education but with parents who are afraid to discuss s*x with their children. Think it's nasty because they were taught it was nasty.

The earlier you teach a child self respect for his/her body and person and the responsibilities that go along with the care and upkeep  and privacy issues with their bodies the less likely children will experiment with s*x because they have the information they need.

Are you people living in munchkinland or something , ten to 13, kids are having s*x at these ages and if you don't want to think about it , it's you with the problem not the kids.

For some reason Americans  (and apparently some UK parents as well from these posts ) are behind in their s*x education attitudes, even Sue Johansen the Canadian sexual education expert  expressed this on the View a few years back.  

Our bodies are something that is "God" given and natural but the same parents who freak over s*x education allow their children to sleep in the family bed with them and you don't think seeing parents in the s*x act wouldn't freak little kids out? That's why little kids need their own beds and not mummy and daddy's. That's why parents need to step up to the plate , get out of the dark ages and take on the responsibility of teaching their children about their bodies, how those bodies work (age approprateness of course) and  privacy issues around their bodies.

They also need to discuss abusive bf/gf and what is appropriate in relationships and that starts about 8 as girls and boys are maturing earlier and having " boyfriends/girlfriends".

The more information a child has the less likely they are to experiment. Abstinence  only programs have been shown repeatedly not to work and the birth rate amongst young girls under 15 in the US is ever growing

Answer 11

about 9 or 10, i think the school should have a qualified nurse to teach them these things on a regular basis, also the parents should be involved.

I got s*x education when i was 15, the class was during aour lunch time and you had to pay £2 to go to it, about 3 people went from our whole year.

xx

Answer 12

I think the age to tell them is when they are old enough to ask, and understand the answer. I don't think that 4 is too young, my mum told me about it when I was just a little older. I also don't think it should be just down to the school to introduce s*x and relationship education. The parents should play a role.

Answer 13

9-8 That's when you starting having weird thought's in your brain haha

Answer 14

I think 7 would be a good age.

Answer 15

In schools probably 10.  At home though whenever your parent's feel you are old enough, i think i was 6 or 7.

I think it should be the parents responsibility, we'll certainly be teaching our little boy when he's old enough

Maj

Answer 16

I think the problem here is not the age, it is the manner in which we are given s*x education in school. I was taught it at 9, we watched a video, saw a naked man and woman and well, that was the end of my innocence! At the time, few other schools taught it at such a young age. I wish I'd have been a little older. I think 11, 12 is fine.

However, it is not the age that is so important, but rather the manner. All we ever heard throughout school was of STDs, pregnancies, contraception, abortions etc. There was little/NO education on the act of love within a relationship, the need to build a relationship, the act of love making as opposed to s*x being a mere physical animal desire.

I don't know how many of you saw the 'Lets talk s*x' programme presented by Davina McCall, I found it very insightful. A country (if memory serves me well, Holland I think) in which the average age of losing virginity was 17+, because their education had focussed on the importance of building relationships, emotional, relationships, which may or may not then culminate in s*x.

All we have in the UK, is s*x is something you do when you're older, but if you do it, bad stuff like pregnancy and diseases can happen. No wonder people want to go out at 'do it' and we have the highest European teen pregnancy rate!! It's made to look like something big , grown-up, dangerous...!!

Let's change the way we teach children about relationships, more emphasis on the emotional, and less on the physical, that, I believe will bring about more positive results.

Answer 17

11, 12 or 13 seems ok..

Answer 18

I'm not sure I'd trust it to schools with their social agendas and their over-run appropriately-vetted staff ticking attainment target boxes.  Probably the people most able and willing to talk to children on their terms about the joys and pitfalls of s*x are those who would never get past an Enhanced CRB check.  So it's down to parents.  If they have access to enlightened spiritual advisers, so much the better.

I do agree that the age children start getting curious is around 6 or 7, and that guidance from that age on should pay off well, compared with attempting it later when they may not always listen.

P.S.  Zoya's post above is excellent.

Answer 19

I think seven is a more appropriate age to start leaning the basics of relationships and what body parts are called etc. I don't have a problem with s*x education, I'm all for it, but being the mother of a four year-old child I think he is too young just now.

Answer 20

I told my own children from the moment they asked questions - I answered as I thought they could understand.  We never sat down to have the "talk" it was part of their upbringing.

I think s*x education should be part of biology or science.  There isn't a child on this planet who doesn't know what s*x is, from the age of 8 or so, unless they've been home schooled or kept away from the media, etc etc.

4 if too young for a formal lesson on s*x education - even if it is only naming the body parts correctly.  these kids still believe in Santa Claus - let their parents deal with this.

Answer 21

Around 10 or so for girls. Maybe a little older for boys.

Of course you want to talk to them much earlier than that about good touch bad touch type things to keep them safe from perverts.

Answer 22

I have always felt that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to hear a simple answer. You should only answer the question asked, though, and not elaborate too much unless the child asks further questions. My eldest son is 7, and now knows the mechanics of s*x (who has what and where it goes). His response? Hysterical laughter and 'Ewwwwwww!'. I'm happy for the school to cover these topics in the way that they do now, with basic s*x ed at 10. I would rather take responsibility for teaching my kids these life lessons as and when I think they are ready.