If you want a baby and your fiancee does not?

Question

What would you do i your fiancee was not ready to have a baby and you have been waiting for ages to fnd the right person and to have ababy and just as you think you have he doesnt want a baby any time soon. and this just devestates me

Answer 1

Awwww i bet it devistates you,what ever you do do not fall pregnant when he has said no because you will ruin the relationship with your fiance maybe he just isn't ready for a baby yet it's a huge responsibility i can't give you an answer on this one only to give him time he might come round soon who knows i hope i have helped a little and good luck.

Answer 2

whats more important to you? baby or fiance?

for a start your not married yet, and you obviously plan on getting married at some point, perhaps your fiance wants to marry you first?.

if you want to have a baby asap then you need to find someone else, you cannot go behind his back thats just a recipe for disaster.

Answer 3

I have the same problem with my bf of almost 4 years and everyone told me to wait. He will come around and even though the urge to have a baby is strong, And it's going to hurt you every time you ask or talk about it and he continually says no. Don't force it just wait and slowly he will want one.

Answer 4

you need to find out if it is just that he wants to wait a while and have kids later or if he doesn't want kids at all. Do you know why he doesn't want to have a baby right now? Have you really asked and thought about his response? Maybe he just wants some time with you first or maybe he doesn't feel he is mature enough to handle the responsibility. Maybe he doesn't feel secure enough financially and wants to make sure he can support you and the baby. My sister is going through this with her husband right now. She really wants children and there is a possibility that she may not be able to so she is even more scared and wanting to try and not waste any more time. Her husband however is just not ready yet. He wants to spend some time with just her first (they just got married in April) and he wants to have a secure job and a house before he has a child. He definately wants kids in fact I think he wants 6 of them but he wants to make sure he is at a good point to support them. However, because my sister was pressuring him so much he started feeling like he wasn't enough for her and that she just wanted to get married so she could have children with someone. He truely started to feel like he didn't measure up and she didn't really like him anymore.

Try to understand where he is coming from. I know you really want children but this is not just your decision as to when and he needs to make sure he is going to be able to be a competant loving father. IF you rush him into it and he's not ready hes going to be stressed out, feeling unworthy of the role, and it very well could lead to a divorce in your future once you do get married.

You two aren't even married yet. Make sure that he does truely in fact want children becasue it sounds like you won't be happy without them. And then maybe sit down and talk about what he feels needs to happen before children (marriage, secure job, house, etc...) and then set a tentative date that you both can live with for when you will start trying. Relationships are a compromise. You defiantely do not want this to be something you push him into unwillingly. You won't be happy with the results I promise.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Find out if he's just not ready to have kids right now, or if he'll NEVER be ready.  If he says he'll never be ready, you have to figure out if this particular person is more important to you than having kids.  Whatever you do, don't force him to have any... he may resent you for it down the road.