If you were adopted...or gave a baby up for adoption..?

Question

I have a dilemma, I am 16 year old junior im pregnant and im giving my little girl up for adoption. My lawyers suggest that i write her a letter telling her about myself and why i gave her up for adoption but i dont know what to write. Can you help me out? What would you write?

Answer 1

My birth mother wrote me the sweetest letter when  i turned 18yrs old the adoption agency sent it to me and in it she basically told me that she loved me but was unable to raise me because her and my dad werent together, she wanted me to know that every time she looked at a star in the sky she would dream i was safe and sound and praying i was doing the same about her.  she said i had my dads nose and his eyes and so she named my dads last name as my first and that she will always love me and wished for me every happiness in the world.  then she never signed her name.  that was the best 18th birthday present i could of gotten...

Answer 2

I would write her to tell her that you loved her and wanted her to have a better life than you could provide for her. Tell her about any medical issues that you or your family have. Then tell her some funny stories about your life. It is so hard to give up so much so that someone else can gain a lot. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh honey:( Have you made your decision? If you need to talk you can e-mail me at [e-mail]. I gave up a son for adoption; 15 years ago.

Answer 4

I was adopted from 3 days old. I am 20 years old and still don't know either of my biological parents: I have no information on them AT ALL.

This is something I would have wanted in my posession growing up:

Dear child,

My name is *insert your name* ... I am your biological mother. I was *your age* when I gave birth to you. your fathers name is *name* and he was *age*.

I gave you up for adoption because *reason*. I wish I could have kept you; I know you are a blessing to your new family!

This is your medical history: there is no heart desease in our family, nor is there cancer... *etc etc*

*tell the child whether or not you want him/her to use your family tree or the adoptive family tree - regardless of your answer, put it down - this child has a right to know*

*indicate whether or not you would like to meet him/her in the future*

*your name here*

...

I would have loved to have something like that growing up. it's so difficult at doctor's offices... they always ask me these questions that I can't answer! things like "does cancer run in your family? how about heart desease? blah blah blah" and i get so frustrated and angry. Also, i don't know what herritage I am. All I know is that I am an American - but i want to know more... like if i have German roots, Indian roots, Scottish roots, etc. I also want to thank my mother for not having an abortion - elsewize i wouldn't be here!!

Thank you for considering writing that letter; it will mean A LOT to your child growing up - i know it would have meant a lot to me.

Answer 5

write like you were her...what would YOU want to know

Answer 6

I have never been in either circumstances but I'm looking at adopting.. I think if I was in your shoes though I  think that I would tell my little girl how much I love her and why I choose to place her for adoption.. You know explain why you choose to place her for adoption.. Just be honest when you are writing and someday when she gets older she will realize it was because of love and not because you didn't want her... I hope that helped out.. Thanks

Answer 7

well it has to come from the hart so i cant tell u wat to write just to give u exsamples tell her u luv her why u gave her up and stuff about u and ur dreams for her also ur contact info

Answer 8

it has to come from the heart. dont just ask random ppl what u should write to her.

Answer 9

i had a baby at 16 and kept him, so i know what happens if you don't put it up for adoption....you're choosing to do something FOR your child.....tell the truth....be honest...gooluck

Answer 10

First I would tell her that you didn't put her up for adoption because you didn't want her. You wanted her to have more than you could give her because you were so young when you had her.

Let her know there isn't a day that goes by you don't think about her.

If the adoptive parents will allow you to babysit for her, you could develop a friendship, but this is risky because of the urge to take her.

But if they would let you have supervised visits so you know how she is doing.

A lot of laws have changed since I was adopted.

Have you given this a lot of thought? You will go through a period of time when you will start questioning if you did the right thing or not. Believe me, you are doing the right thing.

You have your whole life ahead of you to raise a family. I suppose the father of your baby took a long walk and said see ya.

When your baby is older she may want to see you in person to get answers from you as well.

Keep the communication lines open.

Sometimes the birth mother has a selection in who her baby goes to live with. You might see if your lawyer can help you out in this matter.

Answer 11

This is such a great idea.  My best friend was adopted by great parents and she had a wonderful life.  She never had much interest in finding her birth parents, but last year she was contacted by her birth mother.  Her birth mother explained that she was a teen, and couldn't give her the life she deserved.  My friend was perfectly content with that, and they have developed a very nice relationship.  If I were you, I would be very honest.  It's okay to say that you know you were too young to be a mother.  This child is going to have a fabulous life, I know this because you were the first one to make sure of it.  I think that it is great to give her information in case she ever wants to find you.

Answer 12

Take some time to be with yourself quietly and ask yourself those questions.  What is in your heart?   What are you thinking?  What do you think is the best thing to do.  Then write it all down.  In a few days, go back to what you have written and refine it.   If it sounds cold, add some warmth.  Write what is in your heart.

  If nothing comes, ask if you can add this letter to her dosier later.