If you were adopted - what would have liked your Foster Parents to know...?

Question

Anything / Anyone

Foster Parents

Adoptive Parents...

I would like to hear from everyone!

No thumbs down...

Answer 1

I believe that we adoptive and foster parents should always make the fostering/adoption part of regular conversation, and not hiding it, because by hiding it, and trying to find the "perfect" time to tell them, then it seems like it must be something to hide.  Honesty with kindness, telling them the truth when they ask, just not dwelling on the negativity.  Also, every child in this situation should know that it isn't their fault in any way, and that you want to give them the resources, the confidence, and the stability in their lives to make sure the cycle ends, and that their decisions in life are made because they want to, not because they have to.

Answer 2

i hope i answer this correctly on what you are asking. i am a foster mom for 5 years. when they were here we always let them know their bio parents loved them. we are not bio family but we are "family" love is thicker than blood. we are adopting 4 of them now, we are keeping their first names, well one is raymond jay but we are changing it to jayson raymond. and changing the middle names and to our last name, they are ours and we dont want them to feel not apart of us. anyway the know we always will love them and its ok to ask questions about their bio family and we are honest but with care.  

Answer 3

i would've liked them to know that changing my last name to theirs wouldn't have traumatized me- actually i would've preferred it, instead of having my biological last name, which made be feel like an outsider sometimes.

Answer 4

I would like my mother to know that I do not want old lady nightgowns for Christmas.

I know, I could just tell her but we are the not the kind of family that ever shows disappointment upon receipt of a gift.

W/R/T adoption, I don't think there is anything that I would want them to know. They told us about adoption from the time we were tiny and managed the whole thing really well. Oh, my mother did one weird thing where she told us we had certain ethnic backgrounds and when my sister sought non identifying information she found out that what she was told was not true. I've discounted mine as well - I think she just looked at us and gave it her best guess!  

Answer 5

where are my birth parents?? when would i be able to see them??

Answer 6

What I would have wanted my foster parents to know:

I am just a kid and I am really scared and confused.  I don't know who you are and everything I used to know is gone.  I may not understand your rules or your way of living, but I can learn.  I am really sad and I feel really alone.

Don't LIE to me.  And if you don't know about my bio-parents, tell me that, but just don't LIE and make up some excuse.  

Don't introduce me as YOUR FOSTER CHILD.  I hate that.  Just say my name.

Don't give your bio-children things that you don't give to me, like Christmas presents or birthday parties.  Treat me like I BELONG.

Spend ALOT of time with me when I first get there, because I am really scared.

Just don't forget that I am a product of my past.  I do things because I don't know any better or how to express my emotions.  I need help, not anger and punishment.  

I am just a kid.