If you were to get a g*y marrige....?

Question

I was thinking, I'm g*y, and live in Canada. I'm only 16, but say when I'm 30, I decide to marry another man, would it be better to have a "ceremony" or a normal "wedding", with the church, reception, 300 people? I've always wanted a wedding, and even though i'm not very religious, I'd want it in my church, Ukrainian Orthodox......g*y is a very "don't ask, don't tell" issue, so what do you think a 50 year old priest would say if i went and suggested a g*y wedding at the church? Would it be worth fighting to get the ceremony at the church? Also, cab you have groomsmen or bridesmades? I'm just curious because i want the normal wedding like everyone else (minus the bride)! Its just such a "touchy" issue for so many, would half the guests not come because they'd be scared or think it's "dis-tasteful" to "flaunt" my sexuality? I know things can change in 14 years, but my mom brought it up and said that my family would fight for whatever I want, especially the church, so i just go thinking....

Answer 1

Congratulations, Harold, for living in a civilized country. I can't make the same claim.

Yeah, in 10 or 15 years from now you and your then partner might well decide to get married. I know lots of g*y and L*****n couples who've married in California, Mass. and Montreal. They've all chosen very different ways to celebrate their union, They range from going down to city hall, to throwing an elaborate church wedding for 200 guests.

Hey, your mom said the family would support whatever you wanted. Cool. You're lucky; not every kid has that much true acceptance at home.

You're right; things can (and certainly will) change in 14 years. You've got plenty of time to contemplate a marriage. Remember, too, that your husband-to-be (whoever the lucky guy is) might have his own ideas of how a wedding should look.

Don't worry about what some old priest will think. Go your own way. You'll find it the best path.

Answer 2

i say go for it dude, do what u want and fight for it, and i'll help ya if u want.

i'm gonna get married to my fiance when we're 25, and yes, we're both girls. i'm currently 16 as well. i'm gonna let her deal with all that stuff, but wherever she wants it is where we're having it, i'll fight for that, though i HIGHLY dout it'll be in a church, we're both atheist. lol

but u get my point i hope

anyone who dissapproves doens't have to be there. if they have a problem with it, then that's their problem.

best of luck dude. i'd do the hugies thing, but i'm sick, don't want u getting a vitrual cold. heehee.  

Answer 3

in 15 years, the world will be different.  

Talk with the priest about it early so you can get him to change his ways.  Ukrainian Orthodox... orthodox is traditional by definition, so I would suggest you start the campaign early.  Another skizm in the church would not be helpful.

have the fun wedding.  I have been with my partner so long, that I don't know what to do with our wedding.  Its almost dumb that I have to do this again.  We have been (legally) domestic partners, and we got a Civil Union in Connecticut when we lived there. Now we are in California, and its legal until November, when the Constition may revoke our right to marriage.  We have to have a ceremony before election day, before it gets voted on, in case the vote is a bad one....

We told his Grandmother, and she asked, "why do you have to get married again?"  It was a really nice recognition of what we really are already.  She didn't realize that we were not "married" but were 'other'

Sorry-I digress....  Have a huge wedding, with lots of flowers and whatever.  The nice thing, we can create the norms becuaase the old rules don't apply.  My Best Man is a woman.  Neither of us will wear white.  And nobody is going in drag.

Answer 4

In my own Episcopal church, Holy Union ceremonies are popping up like mushrooms. They are meaningful and beautiful. Unfortunately, the Orthodox Churches are light years behind. They tend to still be very homophobic in doctrine. It will probably take a while for the uber- hierarchical churches (Orthodox and Roman Catholic) to get with the groove.

  It is really strange, since the Eastern Churches of antiquity had a g*y marriage ceremony during the very early days. I will include a link for Axios, an LGBT Orthodox organization you may find links there that will help. I also suggest a book by John Boswell called Same s*x Unions in Premodern Europe. I have a copy and still refer to it

Answer 5

why are you thinking of other people....do what you like. I'm a great fan of Mark Feehily and i advise you to follow his example. and won't forget to invite me.