If your child wanted to stop a hobby, would you let them???

Question

Would you, make your 9 year old child carry on with a hobby s/he started when s/he was 6, and contiunes to say that they do not like the hobby?

Would you stop the hobby or make them contiune going?

Thanks.

Answer 1

Stop the hobby. He'll end up really hating them

Answer 2

A hobby is something we do because we enjoy doing it.  If s/he no longer enjoys it, it's no longer a hobby, it's a chore.

If it needs to be done, s/he needs to keep doing it.  If it's supposed to be enjoyable, s/he needs to stop doing it.  (I wouldn't be answering questions on Y!A if I didn't enjoy doing it, for example.)

Answer 3

This is abusive behaviour from your ex, and it has to stop NOW.

Chuck his Tae Kwondo kit away, ring the Sensei and explain Jimmy wants to stop and that will he please show father the door if he turns up and forces the boy.

Definitely seek legal advice and look to re-arrange access visits.

If your son's a keen swimmer, why not look for a swimming club, as opposed to the lessons? Or as well as? I think he'd love it! If your ex is adamant about him learning a martial art (they're all useless for self defense, BTW) what about trying him with Judo? The word means "the gentle way" and he might be happier with something so much less violent.

Answer 4

who takes him ...my children do there activities on the weekend and every other weekend its my ex that takes them....we agreed to stop the activities if the child doesn't like it anymore....with a valid reason also he will have to finish the season and he won't go back again.....your ex's excuse is not valid....your son hates it....then he should stop it..you shouldn't take him anymore when you have him....and tell your son you respect his feelings and that if he really hates it then he shouldn't go and tell his dad himself.....if he wants his son to learn self defense there are many activities to do that.....

Answer 5

i would let her stop and try something new. kids that age are just trying to figure out what they're interested in.

Answer 6

Sometimes it's hard to step back and say it's up to you but a hobby is something you are interested in,if you lose that interest it becomes a chore.

My youngest played classical guitar at 12/13.He was self taught but was so good it would take your breath away.He lost interest at 15 and hasn't played since.Maybe some day,I live in hope. :(

Edit:Checked your update and frankly your ex doesn't deserve children.He is an abusive individual and will cause your son emotional harm.He,your ex,needs treatment(as we say here in Ireland)

Answer 7

Advocate for your kid, let him stop.  It's doing more damage than good.  If it really is something he is interested in, he will start bringing it up and you can always just put him back in.   But it doesn't sound like he is power-struggling, just that he doesn't want to go, therefore I would have him stop.  Are there other types of self-defense or a sport that he has expressed interest in?

Answer 8

it depends also on what you the parent thinks.. but.. if he says he doesnt like it maybe he enver did and only did it to please you. i would never make my child do something he didnt like doing (as in hobbies) id want him to do something he loves... but maybe theres a reason other then he just doesnt like it anymore.

Answer 9

Try to persuade your ex to spend his money on something your child would enjoy doing with him.  If you or your ex makes the child continue with the hobby then s/he will become even more unhappy and may well not want to go out with his/her father on any trip.  Your ex is likely to be the loser at the end of the day if the child starts to refuse to go out with him.  If he is sports orientated perhaps they could go swimming or skating together.

Answer 10

a hobby is only a hobby while he enjoys it, he may even go back to it but if you make him do what was the hobby he will begin to resent it and resent going. he may be young but he has opinions, would you still make him do something he no longer enjoyed at 15? introduce him to other sporty hobbies

Answer 11

i would let them stop the hobby and ask what they would like to do instead! whats the point in them carrying on doing it !the whole point of a hobby is that you enjoy it!

Answer 12

let them stop and find another hobby then enjoy

Answer 13

If you'd said three weeks, I'd have said make him stick it out a bit longer. But three years is plenty long enough for him to have made up his mind about it.

Frankly I'm surprised that the taikwando teacher hasn't said anything. If your son hates it that much, is he even safe in the lessons? It's not like he's going to be concentrating on what he's being taught...

And your son's dad sounds like a right ***. What an awful thing to say to a child!

Answer 14

I'd let them stop. I don't see why they should be made to continue something they no longer liked doing.

However if I found out that they only wanted to quit because of a bully or incident that happened there then I would talk to the organisers, people involved and the child themself, and try to resolve the issue.

Answer 15

If they are not happy doing it then find something they do want to do. ask yourself if you would do something you didn't enjoy doing if you didn't have to.

Answer 16

kids do it all the time they loose intrest and its a parents job to keep them interested in diff. things!

Answer 17

whats the point in making them do something they have no intrest in ? surely its a waste of money and what is it actually acheiving cos if they hate it that much as soon as they are adult and have option to drop it they will

I would never force them to do something they didnt want to i really cant see point and besides its not fair on the child

Answer 18

Not at all - if they are no longer interested in something I wouldn't pressure them to continue it, even in the hope that they might eventually want to continue - I would simply leave them to it - hobbies, like other things, simmer down during the years and it is no different for childrens interests - in fact, the more pressure you would put on them to continue something, the more they would probably refuse point blank!

I have a 10 year old whose hobbies, including those from her younger years, tend to change as quickly as the weather.

I don't spend a lot of money on it until it becomes quite obvious it is more than a passing whim!

If you pressure them to carry on with something they are quite obviously no longer interested in then you could end up with many tantrums and wasted money!

Like most things with them, I would ask them why they are no longer interested, try to encourage them to continue and depending on how strongly they feel with giving things up would comply with what they want.

If they are genuinely interested in the hobby then they will pick up tools again at a later date!  Somethings, especially with kids though, tend to run the course much quicker than expected!

Good luck and you have my utmost sympathy!  Kids, eh, who would have them!

Answer 19

A hobby is something you chose.

If he is being forced to do it it is not a hobby at all.

Answer 20

let them make the decision, if forced to continue doing something they hate they will start to resent you.

I wanted my 16 year old to do dancing as a young child, she thought otherwise - I wasted a lot of money, and I learn't my lesson!

Answer 21

I would let them stop the hobby if they don't care for it or find it uninteresting. Maybe, after three years they have outgrown this hobby and want to try something new. If you continue to make your child go he may end up hating this hobby and never partake in it again. Your child might fear trying something else new if they think you will make them continue it, if he decides he doesn't like it. Just because he/she doesn't want to continue with this hobby does not make them a quitter, he just hasn't found what right for him yet.  Life is full of new experiences...just let him be free in his own choices.

Answer 22

To me it's not a hobby if he is not enjoying it. If your the one who primarily takes him then just stop taking him. Pay for the swimming lessons, which you said he enjoys and let it be done. Goodluck

Answer 23

Yes.  You don't know how much psychological damage you are doing.  Better to let your son stop now.  He must know enough to instinctively defend himself if he should ever have the need to.  Don't risk driving a rift between you and your son.  Find another hobby for him.  Ask him what he'd like to do.  And just hope thet he does not get his own back by saying that he would like to take up ballet dancing.

Answer 24

hobby suppose Tobe fun let them try something new they may go back to it latter

Answer 25

its their choice at 6 they may have enjoyed it but by the time they are 9 they may have grown out of it so i would let them make the choice

Answer 26

I would let them stop. It is worse if they still want to do it and the parents stop them! Its their choice. They may even want to do it again after a while.

Answer 27

my son did keyboard lessons for ages and i knew he was getting fed up but he kept saying he wasnt. in the end he admitted he didnt want to carry on but didnt say anything cos he thought we would be cross at him wasting our money. i said it was a waste of money if he kept going and wasnt enjoying it.hobbies are supposed to be fun, not endured.

Answer 28

Would you like to do something you no longer wanted to do?

Answer 29

Stop the hobby - what's the point in forcing them?

Answer 30

Why make them carry on?? As adults we make wrong choices, as children even more so.

Answer 31

Make them stick at it for another while, see if it's just a phase of not liking it they are going through. If they still don't after this time then of course let them stop.