If your daughter got pregnant out of wedlock, how would you react?

Question

Just IMAGINE if tht happened to u.... u don't have to have an ACTUAL daughter

It's just weird cos I've noticed that for Westerners.. they're way more supportive. They'd give their full support to their daughter(maybe, after a long talk and stuff).

for ASIANS.... the parents just blow up! And keep saying how the daughter's a disgrace and all sorts of shizz. In a way, its only cos Asians are more religious and conservative in that sense. In extreme cases they'd disown the daughter but if not; they'd treat the daughter **** but still help her out and such

Answer 1

I dont think a response is related to what race a family is. However, I do think the more conservative and religious the family, the more upset the family gets at the daughter. Many families do disown their daughters and, as a social worker, it is so sad to see these young mothers attempt to support a baby when they are only babies themselves. I think that it is just become more acceptable recently. Not that parents want their daughters to get pregnant, but with kids having s*x as early as 10 years old (crazy, huh?) maybe we are a little desensitized somehow. It seems like more families are willing to help their daughters now instead of sending them away or making them give up the babies for adoption, too.

I personally would be upset with my daughter for being so irresponsible, but I could never disown her. I would want her to still complete high school, go to college, etc. She will have an even harder time succeeding with a baby so, she would need all the help she could get.

Answer 2

I don't have a daughter (but might someday)... but I would support her 100%. I don't think all westerners are supportive, because I got pregnant before getting married (was engaged) at age 21 and my dad about flipped out. My mom wasn't happy either. They believe God wants people to be married before having kids. When I was younger, that's what I wanted for myself, but I made a mistake and totally regret it. I think if my daughter was in a committed, stable relationship, it would be HER choice whether or not to have a baby out of wedlock. I'm not going to run her life.  

Answer 3

Out of wedlock? ehh. It depends.

If she was 16, I'd freak. I'd ask her who the guy was and kick his ***. Then I'd tell her to find a job, finish that GED and go to church.

My parenst are asian and i know what its like. They do freak out. Especially my mom, who's harcore Christian. She starts a rant and starts yelling.

LOL.  

Answer 4

Marriage doesn't mean what it use to.  Just because they are married doesn't mean life will be perfect and divorce has gone up.  As long as my daughter was committed to being a mom and takes care of herself and her baby that is what matters to me.  

Answer 5

Sometimes it is not planned but in a way it was through the grace of God.  Any child born is a gift and should be welcomed with arms wide open and loved dearly.  

Answer 6

The Asians got it right.

Answer 7

I have three daughters and I'm not Asian.  Of course I would probably prefer for them to be married first but it wouldn't make me love and support them any less.  

I would not prefer her to be married for religious reasons, or to save face, but because it would perhaps promote a safe and loving home environment and show their commitment to the family unit.

If they do have children out of wedlock my feeling towards them would be no different.  In this day and age there's other stuff going on in society that would raise eyebrows higher.

Answer 8

I'd wonder why she didn't listen to any of the long talks I had with her about protecting herself, then I'd have to realize accidents happen, I would be supportive of her and her choices, it would changer everyone's lives but I wouldn't try to influence her decision on whether to keep the baby or adoption or abortion it would be her choice.

Answer 9

ok i am not a parent, but i was pregnant 6 months ago and it ended in M/C. I told my parents 2 days before im miscarried and they were pissed! But then again at the same time they were going to support me no matter what. All i can say is tell her that it was probally not the smartest thing she has ever done, but also let her know that you are there and support her 100% (even if you dont agree). Support is the biggest thing that was helping me through.

I hope this helps!

Answer 10

It depends how old she was! If she was under the age of 16, I would be upset but I would help her! If she was over 16, I wouldn't be as upset b/c she can work and finish school. I would still help either way! I plan to teach my daughter about s*x, pregnancy, bc, and stds so we shouldn't have that problem!

Answer 11

seriously, its 2008, if someone is still concerned about this kind of thing, they need to go somewhere and shut the h**l up. i got pregnant out of wedlock, but i was 26 at the time and almost out of college. my mom was actually happy about her new grandson. i have seen people that are married and have children and the father will just abandon the family when it behoovs him to do so. being married doesn't guarantee a happy family.

Answer 12

Anyone who gets pregnant under the age of 18 I feel sorry for as they have no idea of what life will now have in store for them.  

If my own daughter had done so I would be extremely surprised as she has an incredibly strong relationship with her mother and has always been able to discuss any topic with her so she is quite capable of making informed decisions about all aspects of her life.

My daughter is now 20 and if she did get pregnant I know that she would herself be very disappointed as she has many things she is aiming for in her life and a child is not as yet part of that.  My wife and I would however be supportive of her as what else can a parent do?  

The sad thing about teenage girls these days is that I could add up over 15 girls who went through school with my daughter who had pregnancies and babies while they were still at school.  Almost all of those are not in a relationship at all.

Answer 13

I have a 2 daughters and I can tell you now that if my 14 year old came and told me she was pregnant, I'd be very disappointed in her, but I would still love her, and I would help her in whatever choice she makes with regards to who will raise the child.  

If she choose to keep the baby I'd help her out with childcare so that she could finish high school and get a job - but she can forget about parties and dating unless she can find her own reliable sitter.  I would never kick her out, it's my grandchild regardless of how old my daughter is, and every child deserves to be loved.