If your daughter/son were getting married would you help pay for something?

Question

Even if they didn't want you to help out,would you still do it?

Answer 1

yes I would ..if they didn't want help paying I would sneak them cash

Answer 2

Yes, I would try to do something for them or give cash as a gift to help out with the expenses.  

Answer 3

Absolutely. I firmly believe that if parents can afford it, they should contribute to one of the most important days in their child's life. Then again my parents have always been extremely generous with me, and other people may feel differently due to their upbringing.

Answer 4

If they didn't want help, I would give a large amount of $$ as a wedding gift to defray costs.  That way you're still contributing, but passing it off as a wedding gift.

Answer 5

Nope.  If they did not ask for your help, just let them know you are available to help.  Don't be pushy.  So many people do it themselves because if they pay for it, they call all the shots.  Parents who help often then intrude into the planning without being asked.

Answer 6

first of all the brides parents are supposed to pay for the wedding.  If not, then do it all yourself. my mom did, and she was a beautiful bride and she was even more beautiful because she did it all herself.

Answer 7

Absolutely!!! I'd most likely pay for their honeymoons.

Answer 8

yes me and my parents are going split down the middle with all costs

Answer 9

I would offer and continue to lend my complete support. If they didn't want it, that is fine.... but always let them know that you are there for them, no matter what.

Answer 10

No, my Sister and her Husband both got a second job and didn't want anyone to help out. I am pretty sure they made back most if not all from the wedding presents....which they didn't turn down. If you really want to give just make it a nice wedding gift.

Answer 11

I would definitely help them as much as I could without any questions or input unless they asked for it. I am getting married and my mom wants to give me money but under her stipulations and desires so we declined. I understand how hard it can be to start out and have a party at the same time.  

Answer 12

NO, adults pay for their own wedding.  Save the money for your grandchild's education-something important.  Parties are not important.

Answer 13

Absolutely, and if they are refusing for any financial help with the wedding I would give them a healthy cash gift so that they can use it on the honeymoon or whatever they may decide.

Answer 14

Yes. I would help them out in some way.

Answer 15

Without a doubt. With financial and or emotional support it is our obligation as parents to help our children on the most important day of their life.

Answer 16

Yes -- of course.  There are all kinds of creative ways to help out -- Bridal Showers, gift cards to places where they plan to shop for wedding "stuff", finding out where the dresses and tuxes have been ordered and making payments, finding out where the flowers were ordered and making payments, finding out who the photographer is and making payments, asking questions to see what the couple wants to do for favors and ordering everything for them ... the possibilities are endless!

I hope that's not a bad thing.  

Answer 17

Yes! Maybe I would ask if I could take care of one thing like the DJ or the flowers if they really didn't want my help. Taking care of one thing doesn't seem as "threatening" as giving money or just generally helping out.  

Answer 18

If you are the mom: Don't be pushy, but give them a wedding gift the value of how much you wanted to contribute. That could be as lavish as a car or to buy the plane tickets for the honeymoon, or as simple as new dishes or curtains for their home. Your child is a grown-up and you should respect their desire to do this on their own.

If you are the child: Don't expect your parents to do something for your wedding if you made it clear that you didn't want help. It is churlish to expect someone to read your mind, so if you want help say so, otherwise you have no right to expect it. Letting you make up your own mind about what you want is a gift of respect that far outweighs any monetary considerations.  

Answer 19

yes I would do what our parents are doing for us. My parents have offered to pay a 1/4 of the cost and my partners parents have offered to pay for a 1/4 of the cost. So we are paying half ourselves. We never asked for help paying but both sets of parents wanted to contribute.  

Answer 20

Yes, in fact when I got married, despite my mom wanting me to wait longer she saw I was paying for it and insisted on paying for my reception - it was a cake & punch at the church but was still a couple of hundred dollars (22 years ago)... as a gift she got us a hotel room for our wedding night.

Let them know that you WANT to help and tell them what you're willing and able to do or how much you'd like to give them.  If they won't take the help give them the money as a wedding gift.  

Answer 21

Noooope. They want to be adults, then they can pay for it like adults.

(Of course, I don't want kids anyways, but that's how it'd be if I do someday.)

Answer 22

My Aunt came  up with this rule for her two daughters (not married yet, but we're all waitin', haha):

She and her husband will pay for the bridal gown, and the open-bar alcohol tab for top shelf liquor at the wedding.

Being that these two costs are pretty high (especially for my fashion-obsessed cousins) those two things are pretty costly, and a great donation to a wedding.

I would probably continue that with our kids, especially because many people get married when they are already established and have good jobs, etc. Parents put their kids through college ... that should be plenty for one lifetime. They do need to retire, after all!