If your dog is just a companion dog, where do you think the line should be drawn?

Question

If your dog is just a pet, do you think you tend to baby it too much? Where do you think the line lies from being a good pet owner (giving quality food, vet care, etc.) and being too much of a pampering pet owner?

I really am curious, so, please, serious answers only.

My husband very matter-of-factly told me last night that our 2 dogs are too pampered. He refuses to cater to them as I do, if you would call it catering.

Someone (who I consider very dog smart) just told me in an email that you do your dog more harm than good by babying them. I need help in deciding where the line is that my husband apparently thinks I have crossed way back when.

What started the conversation was when I actually went to the bathroom and no animal followed me in there. I asked my husband if he thought that everyone else's dogs followed them everywhere like my 2 follow me. He told me that he seriously doubts that everyone else's dogs are still attached at the ____ (fill in the blank by thinking of a mother nursing her child). He also told me that it is going to be hard to break some of their habits that I am not so fond of because I've let this behavior go for so long. Yeah, kinda harsh, I know. But, it made me think.

What do you think?

And to the person with the informative emails, thanks ....they are helpful.

Answer 1

Both my dogs follow me everywhere. I baby them sometimes but not too much because you have to remain the leader. I treat them more like best friends than babies but they still follow me everywhere. My dog Bronco actually nudges me with his nose while I'm walking so I will pet him lol  You can baby them but you also have to make sure you don't let them break the rules or behave inappropriately.  

Answer 2

I personally draw the line when you get to the point where your dog is running the house.  As long as everyone is clear that the human is the one in charge, and you aren't developmentially crippiling your dog by overprotecting it (carrying it everywere, never letting it be around other dogs or people etc), or spoiling it by providing too much or improper food,  then feel free to spoil it as much as you like.   (By spoil I mean a few extra treats, allowed on the furniture as long as it is by invatation and they get off when told and things along that line)  As far as following you around certin breeds are predisposed to never let you out of their sight because of what they were breed for (ie my breed the Doberman was breed as a companion protector, they have to be with you to protect you so have a predosposition to that behavior nick names the "velcro dog"  )  

I also draw the line at clothing (unless needed for warmth in a clipped or thin coated breed)  "strollers", doggie purses etc are over the line.    Dogs don't need (or generally like) clothing unless it is for the above mentioned reason.  Doggie strollers and purses create behaviroal problems both by putting the dog in a elevated position and protecting it from the world.  

My other "line" is people who spend thousands of dollars on parties and "weddings" for their dogs.   Because frankely I don't see the point.   However they don't harm the dog so to each his own.

Answer 3

Personally l don't think you can pamper them too much.

They are a part of my family and get the same attention and treatment as the other family members do.

They follow me everywhere just like yours do, l don't see anything wrong with it.

They know what is expected of them and know their place in the pack, l'm the boss and they know it. They get disciplined when they do something wrong, ( a stern "no") and plenty of love and attention the rest of the time.

Obviously they get well fed and any veterinary treatment they need.

They are only with us a short time and l feel we should make that time as enjoyable as possible for all of us.

Answer 4

IMHO, your dogs sound overly attached to you. I can't say if this is because you 'pamper' them or because they are insecure (or both).

But it is not uncommon for insecure dogs to behave this way (I had one and she was also prone to separation anxiety - mild but a problem nonetheless).

I also don't know what *you* mean by 'babying' them. I treat my dog with all the respect that she deserves simply for being a dog. I do not treat her as I would a human child (I have too much respect for her as a canine to do that to her). Some people think babying them means treating them with respect and not forcing them to do things they are uncomfortable doing or afraid of doing. Others think babying them means talking baby talk to them, cuddling with them, etc. Beyond the pale is dressing them up as children and carrying them around in bags or strollers like children, spoon feeding them, etc.

In the end, your dog's behavior is the best way to tell if you have pampered them to the point of interfering with their natural canine behavior.

Jean Donaldson's book The Culture Clash is an excellent resource if you are interested in learning more about natural dog behavior.

Answer 5

I have a cat that follows me from room to room (even the bathroom), is on my lap instantly when I sit down anywhere, is fixed a dinner plate to sit next to me when I have dinner, (at least she is on the floor eating boiled chicken only), will sit up to beg for treats, comes running to the door when I get home from work, and "talks" back to me when I talk to her.  

My husband too tells me she is overly spoiled, he doesn't seem to realize she behaves exactly how I want her too.  She IS my baby, she is my pet, I do enjoy her following me and being with me constantly. So I just don't understand how she can be called spoiled.  She is not given food that is bad for her, she is not allowed to do things that are bad for her, she is given proper vet care, and she is happy and healthy.  

Maybe to some it is spoiling and to others it is love.  But if it hasn't caused any ill effects then go ahead and love your PET it is not a show animal it is part of the family.  

Answer 6

Pampering = Humanizing...and humanizing is not good.

A dog is a dog and should be treated like one. People need to see their dog as a dog and not as a child, for the good of the animal. You need to cater to their canine needs, think in terms of canine psychology, understand canine behaviors.

I think over-humanization is a HUGE issue that can lead to massive behavioral problems. Pampering by providing quality food, proper exercise and safe fun stuff (toys and whatnot) is fine. Pampering by treating your dog like a precious baby does the animal a great injustice.

Answer 7

I think the term pampering means different things for different people.  I am so sick of people telling me I spoil my dog because I drive 1/2 hour to get his food, walk him twice a day, let him sleep in our bed and on the furniture, and I don't want to leave him alone.  It's my choice, and I really don't consider that spoiling him.  If he wants to follow me around, so what.  I do get funny looks sometimes when I have conversations with him while we are going for a walk......I don't care...:)

Answer 8

I'm having the same problem :(

Penny is my baby, always will be. I *know* I over pamper her. She gets what she wants, and has me *perfectly* trained. All she has to do is shoot me that sad face and I give in. Though all of that is true, she has no behavioral problems. She's very well behaved and trained. I can assure you that if she ever got too out of hand her honeymoon would be over.

From what I've read on your question, it doesn't seem to be pampering your dog as much as taking very, very good care of Eli and Molly.

Have you seen that Dr. Phil episode where that woman is looney over her dog? She has spent over 10,000 dollars in outfits for it. She CHEWS it's food for it, then lets it eat out of her mouth. That is over-doing it. What you're doing it just plain 'ol taking care of your dogs.

:)

Tell your husband to shove it.

Well...maybe in a nicer way, but you get the idea.

Answer 9

I think we are all guilty of babying our dogs too much. The only time we tend to pick up on it is when the habit that was cute as a puppy get annoying when they get older. Like when they bounce and jump greeting you at the door. It might be cute when they are 10-12 lbs but how about when they are 90lbs. My boyfriend is the worst for this not that I am not guilty of such thing but I am slowly training myself better. My easiest way of reasoning it is...is this a behaviour that I am going to want to deal with when they get older/bigger. If I answer no then it is not something I allow now.

Answer 10

I am not a vet or a expert on dogs or anything, but I do think that there is a line.  My jack russell is a very high strung pup.  He follows me everywhere too.  but you kinda want that in a dog.  That is part of the companionship I think.  You probably shouldn't feed the dog from your plate, or allow him to sleep in your bed, or even sit on the couch, but there is nothing wrong with spoiling your dog a little.  He loves you no matter what so if your not spoiling him and making him learn what you expect of him, he still loves you unconditionally and probably always will unless you are really mean to him or something.  and I bet most peoples dogs follow them around.  

Answer 11

Okay well I babied both my dogs way too much and i see that now.  I wasn't working when I got both of them (I got one in october of 2007 and the other in april of 2008)  

Now they can't stand to be away from me.   And I would always baby them and pamper them and treat them like kids.    

Well now I've noticed they've devoloped some separation anxiety.

so yes I believe you can go too far.   But it can be reversed.   It is a learning process you will find where the line is

Answer 12

I think that everything is OK in moderation. Cuddling your dog, picking it up and treating it like a child will make your dog think it is one. I babysit two small dogs, one is very independent and listens etc. while the other one they got more recently was treated like a baby, it barks all the time, doesn't listen and continuously has accidents in the house. Just meet the basic needs your dogs require. You can play with them and cuddle them but refrain from picking them up too much and giving too much attention.

But if your dogs have already got used to the pampering then hold back from overdoing it over a period of time, it'll be a slow process.

Answer 13

I think that some people can go too far with babying their dog, like putting them into clothes and pushing them around in a stroller. I have made a habit to not let my dog get her way, ie. having run of the full house. I only carry her when I want her to go into a specific room and don't want her to run off, or when we're outside and she's without a leash. I only give her cuddles (actual cuddles, not pats, I pat her when she does the right thing) once a day, at night before she goes to bed, and not for very long.

Answer 14

Do your dogs follow you everywhere- you can't have a moment's peace?  Forgive the crudeness, but do the dogs come lay their heads in your lap when you're trying to take a p**p?  Do your dogs whine and scratch at the door when you leave them in another room?

If yes to all of this, then yes, your dogs are clingy and needy and could use a little independence.  If they simply look for you and choose to be near you most, but not ALL of the time, then they are happy, adjusted dogs who love you and want to please you.

Answer 15

OK this is probably opening a can of worms but....

My pups are part of the family, they sit on the couch with us and sleep in our bed.  They are fed a really high quality human grade dog food and have a huge back yard to run and play.  They too follow from room to room, especially the kitchen.  However this being said, we are absolutely the "Alpha"  in the house, they understand their position and usually they are so happy to make us happy that training has not been an issue, we have been blessed.  Work with the issues, read, research etc, you can resolve them so that everyone can be really happy.  Glad to hear your concern and good luck with everything!

Answer 16

Actually, our dog tried to follow us everywhere, and she certainly wasn't too pampered--it's just part of their nature as pack animals, they tend to move as a group. Since you're one of the leaders of the pack, they tend to follow you.

Your husband's definition of "too pampered" is a personal definition, however. What he thinks is "too pampered" may be harsher--letting a dog into the house at all can be considered too pampered by some people--or softer than any given person's, and the only way to find out what exactly he means is to ask him.

That being said, my definition of babying a dog would be giving it special attention or extra privileges during frightening times such as thunderstorms, giving it excessive sympathy before leaving, etc. Not only is this downright annoying and embarrasing to watch for the other family members, it teaches the dog that those situations are cause for concern, and just makes it even more anxious next time around than it would be if it weren't being babied. Feeding excessive treats falls into this definition too, especially since this can lead to an overweight dog (and in some cases, more farting). I disagree that bathing a dog more than once a week is excessive--my last dog had such naturally oily fur, give her two days and her fur would feel (and smell!) like she hadn't been bathed in weeks. Sometimes it is just necessary.

There's also the issue of over-anthropomorphizing dogs, ie. buying your dog fancy outfits or taking it for a manicure/peticure, especially if the owner expects that the dog will actually appreciate it, but that isn't quite the same as general pampering.

Answer 17

I think that anything more, than holding in your lap, walking, vet, feeding, and sleeping is all they need. I feel no need to buy clothes for your dog, to buy strollers for your dog, to buy purses to fit a dog in. It's perfectly fine for your dog to follow you. All of the dogs that i have ever had follow me, and i consider it a good thing.

Above the Line (ok for your to do your dog)

*feed

*walk

*water

*pet

*sit in your lap

*give a bath

*vet

*an occasional grooming

______________________________________...

Below the line (not ok for you to do to your dog)

*dont get it groomed every week

*dont buy a purse to carry your dog around in, i mean come on!

*dont buy a stroller, i mean come on

*Dont take your dog everywhere, or they will think that they will always go with you, and will not understand that they have to be alone sometimes.

Thats just my opinion.

Answer 18

My animals get fed VERY good food (and the occasional treat of people food), treats, toys, etc. My wife and I have no children, so they are our kids. My german shepherd follow me EVERYWHERE...and I mean everywhere. I don't have a problem with that. To some people, a dog is just that...a dog. My dogs are members of the family. I love my dogs more than I like most people.

Answer 19

It comes down to this... if the way you treat your dog is not unhealthy nutrition wise, and does not cause your neighbors undue concern ( i.e. barking and jumping on people) it's nobodies business..

I realize you are talking husband here... in guy speak " you pamper those dogs too much "  means "you treat them better than me" , a concern that you need to deal with...

Answer 20

This is all I am going to say about this...it is FAR easier to instill a behavior in a dog that will help make it a better animal, companion, work, or otherwise, then it is to have to un-install something that you put in there, by accident or on purpose and then try to teach a new behavior.

Please understand that dogs do not think in human terms, they are not emotional like us, they are animals and as such live by a very basic, but very fundamental set of drives that need to be filled in order for that dog to be satisfied.

Drive satisfaction is what is all about in dogs, despite what every one else here believes!!

Hope I helped!