If your fiance was pretty traditional and asked you not to wear a wedding dress that was strapless & also a?

Question

veil would you honor his request or just blow it off as none of his business?

Answer 1

I might ask why he felt the way that he did.  But I would probably respect my husband's wishes.  After all, I wanted to look beautiful for him most of all.

Answer 2

I personally probably wouldn't be marrying a man that was so traditional I could not wear what I want.

I'm more than willing to compromise on things, but I will not let another human being tell me what to wear or what not to wear or otherwise control me.

I have made some modifications in dress based on my husband's wishes such as when we were attending a family event. However, the conversation was more:

"Honey, what do you think I should wear to the ---event---? Are there any dress issues? Should I wear a skirt, dress, or pants? Sleeves or not?"

And his answer would help me narrow it down.

Or if I came out wearing something, he has said, "Don't you think you might want to wear (something else, describing the issue)?"

To which I ask, "Why?"

And he tells me, and pretty much every time I have changed. Because I listen to him and it makes sense - not because he's telling me what to do.

But for my wedding, I would wear what I want.

I wore a strapless dress and a tiara and veil.

Arlene:  I agree that if you can't agree on what the wedding should look like, it is a very bad sign. However, why should the woman be the one losing her idea? Compromise is for BOTH people, not for the guy to say something, and the woman to give in! Why can't the guy compromise on his idea of "no strapless?" Besides, if she is wearing a veil, she is pretty covered. I think that's a great compromise.

For those of you saying, "Well, it doesn't matter because I don't like strapless/it doesn't look good on me," what if you fiance was telling you he ONLY wanted you to wear a strapless gown? What would your answer be then?

Answer 3

I would think that somehow I had been removed from a civilised society and been dumped back in Hicksville before women had the vote.....so, no.  

Answer 4

I, too, think a strapless dress is inappropriate for a church wedding. the church that we were married in required sleeves and a modest neckline. the church lady had to preapprove the dress.

Answer 5

Well, when I tried on dresses I found that the strapless ones did not look the best on me.  So I am fine with it.  My dress has straps, not sleeves, and I am wearing a veil!

Answer 6

Most guys don't really care what their bride wears unless their church insists on conservative dresses or traditional headwear.  If those are your reasons, then she needs to try to work within those boundaries.  But otherwise please let her decide her outfit...she has likely been dreaming about this day for a long time and has firm ideas of how she'd like to look.  

Answer 7

Of course I would! Shows the man has great taste!

Answer 8

I am marrying this guy, of course I would honour him! We are to be together forever, and chances are, we will have plenty of the same opinions, so I might have chosen one like that in the first place!

Answer 9

Well, I would not have that problem since I would never be with someone who thought he could control me so much that he could dictate what my wedding dress would look like.

Answer 10

I would take it into consideration because it may be something that he really wants.

I wanted my husband to wear an all white suit, after a lot of arguing he wore it.

Also, remember that she might fall in love with a princess dress that may be strapless and she might not want to change her mind.

On the veil, I think a compromise can be reached. She can wear it only for the ceremony.

Good Luck and Congratulations.

Answer 11

Sure, if that's what I wanted to do as well.  If not, then sorry, but I'm not going to marry a man who wants to control me to the point of telling me what to wear, even if it is HIS wedding too.  

You sound like a guy who has gotten into an argument with his bride over this, and are trying to get public opinion on your side.  I'm saying that based on your other question that I've seen, and the fact that you've marked all your questions private--which makes it harder to go back and find out what you've been asking.  I don't think you're right dude, and I think you're being awfully controlling here.  If you can't love her for who and what she is, then maybe you ought to seriously reconsider marrying her.  

And, if I'm misjudging the situation, and you're only asking for a hypothetical case, then I do apologize.  But the woman has the right to wear whatever she wants to on her wedding day.  

Answer 12

i think honor it

Answer 13

My fiance is pretty traditional and he really wants my dress to have some sort of a strap on it. My dress, however, is strapless. It has removable spaghetti straps that come with it. I will either use these or I am thinking of having my seamstress make me a capsleeve with the left over material from the hemming. I would not/am not blowing off my fiances request. I want him to think that I am beautiful in my dress and I know that he would be very dissapointed if it was strapless.

He thinks that a strapless dress is not appropriate for a church wedding. The request for straps or a veil is not about control, it is about his/her beleifs (might not be the right word??). If he said that he wouldn't marry me if I showed up in a strapless dress and no veil, that is being controlling.

Answer 14

I would do it, why not? There are so many beautiful dresses that are not strapless and beautiful veils also.

He never asked me thou, he just wanted it to be white and he wanted me to pick one I liked and quick!!!!!!!! heh i took kinda long to buy my wedding dress :P

Best wishes.

Answer 15

Well, in most churches strapless dresses are frowned upon anyway. They are considered informal, which is why you will never see a real princess or royalty wearing one. If he prefers you in something else then I would think you would want to look nice for him. Not to mention that strapless is so overdone these days.  

Answer 16

If we couldn't agree on what the wedding should look like, that is a very bad sign for the time from the wedding until "death do us part"!!  If she blows it off, she is interested in getting married for the show instead of building a solid relationship.  BEWARE.

Answer 17

I would try and understand why he felt a strapless dress was too revealing and try to compromise on something but I'm telling you now that if that was me and I found THE dress and it happen to be strapless, you'd have to just deal with it because when a girl finds that dress....there's no changing her mind.

Answer 18

A fiance can make suggestions, but in the end it's the bride and ONLY the bride that makes the final decision about what she wears on her wedding day. The hardest and most unfair part of trying to plan your wedding is when people make "suggestions" which make it hard to do what you really want and turns what should be fun in planning your wedding into a horrible time that isn't much fun anymore.

Answer 19

well personally I wouldn't have a problem with either of those as I don't really like strapless dresses all that much anyway and I do plan on having a veil if i ever get married. However, if I wasn't that type of person I'd probably have a long talk with him about it and maybe have a compromise (have a strapless dress and a veil? or a strap dress and no veil?) marriage is about compromise and helping as much as you can to make your life partner as comfortable as you can possibly make it for them.

Amem: I would still have a very long talk with him and still do a compromise, but to get him to see my point of view I'd say 'Do you really want me to be poking and prodding at my dress all night? would it really be more fun if I kept pulling it up every 10 minutes just so my b***s/too much cleavage won't show in front of all of our friends and family? (cause that's what happens every single time i've worn a strapless dress) I wouldn't have very much fun, at my own wedding!'

Answer 20

I would want to understand why he wasn't okay with a strapless dress and was so keen on a veil. Is it an issue of modesty and respect within the church, or is it just his preference? I think the bride should listen - really listen - and consider what he says, but in the end her attire is fully her own choice (while keeping in mind the policies of the church), just as his outfit should be fully his choice.

Will your feelings change for her if she doesn't wear a veil? If so, maybe you shouldn't be marrying her.

Answer 21

I'm essentially telling my groom-to-be what to wear.  I imagine it's only fair that he has some say.  Those leave a lot of room for options and design--so I would absolutely honor that request.  

Answer 22

Never blow off your fiance.  Not nice.  But to answer the main question, ask yourself how important is your look to you on your wedding day.  Have a discussion about it with your fiance and explain that you always dreamed of looking a certain way on your big day.

This type of thing really shouldn't be that big of an issue, regardless of what your different styles are.  If you're willing to compromise and can find something with straps, then by all means do it.  Don't make this a big issue.  Try a halter.  That's not strapless and it can be pretty hot!

If he needs to have that much control over your attire, I would really consider why it's that big of a deal.  If you know he's not a control freak and this is just one little thing he really wants, then don't make a big stink of it.  This is your big day, but you also want him to lose his breath when he see's you walking down the aisle.  So, consider that.

Take care!