If your lover had an affair in the distant past, would you want to know the truth ? ?

Question

This question is in relation to one I just read on here. If it was 100% in the past, and the man is 100% repentant and would never do it again, I personally wouldn't want to know about it. How about you?

Answer 1

I would want to know. There is nothing to hide in a marriage.

Answer 2

nope, i would not want to know.

Supposed to live for today and tomorrow, not yesterday.

Answer 3

No, I really don't care about what happened in the distant past.

Answer 4

Tough decision -- It would depend on so many other factors. Who else knows besides him & the woman he had an affair with? Is she likely to tell me or someone else? (I'd rather hear it from him than from anyone else, especially her.) If he did it once, how can he be 100% certain that he'd never do it again? ( The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.) Were there any emotions involved or was it just s*x? How long did it last? Does he stil;l think about her? Is he in a position (say at work) where he still has to see her daily?

Long story short, yes, it would be very difficult but I guess all things considered I'd rather know & deal with it than have secrets between us!

Answer 5

I would want to know every detail. Regardless of whether it's in the past and forgiven forgotten. I have many reasons for wanting to know such as whether I may have contributed something on my part that may have had an influence on her decision to have that affair. Also for my own health safety, I'd like to know. I don't know where this person has been. Lastly, I wouldn't want to be associating & hanging out with someone Not knowing that they had an affair with my partner. I could save face not being around them but only if I knew.  

Answer 6

I would want to know.  I have the right to know.  If I cheated on him then he should know too, even if it will never happen again and I feel horrible that it did happen.  I can't ask to be forgiven if he doesn't know.  If he cheated then I would want to know why.  If he doesn't tell me and I find out from someone else it'll be much worse for him.  If he tells me the truth I can have a better chance forgiving him than if he hides it.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter if you want to know or not I'm not telling.

Answer 8

i would never want to know, if he repented, and it was in the distant past. if u knew it would only bring on heartache that didn't need to be.if it didn't affect your life now, forget it, and look at the present, and the future.

Answer 9

I would want to know but I would WANT him to want to tell me . Its the honesty we have for  our relationship.

Answer 10

No I wouldn't want to know.

Answer 11

If it happened years and years ago then No I wouldn't want to know but if it happened in less then 10 years yes I want to know so I can go get tested for STD's

Answer 12

I have a right to be happy.  The person who cheated should have to carry that guilt with them and not unload it on me to jeopardize my happiness. . .

as long as we're talking about a one time thing, we otherwise have a very happy relationship, and my mate is completely repentant.

Answer 13

yes, by all means