If your natrually loud and outgoing..is there a way to be more quiet and timid?

Question

im a people person:loud outgoing smiling all the time. but some people i know said that im a little over the top. as in im way more dramatic than i should be. i get the impression that its annoying. is there a way i can learn to keep quiet and be able to let my friends know that i've changed.

i always have an opion or something to say. im the class clown.

UGHH! help!

Answer 1

1st off always be you.  I know people like this, and while its nice to see someone so energetic and happy its kind of annoying as well. you can still be the class clown and fun without being crazy, loud, and dramatic.

BUT.....

try to control the volume of your voice. i know its really hard but when you talk does the WHOLE class need to hear you??

DO NOT exaggerate things. ex:  if your pencil breaks DONT make a crazy big deal out of it.

when someone asks you a question wait a few second to answer, this will give you time to temper your response and also think about what you are going to say.

i hope this helps

Answer 2

Depends if you want to be shy and stuff.. Idk maybe but you might be used to making loud comments!

Answer 3

Just be quiet sometimes :)

I have a coworker very similar to you and all my other coworkers say she's annoying & irritating.

Answer 4

Well, first off, let me say I totally understand where you're at. I'm an outgoing and talkative person myself (even more so when I was in my teens and 20s) and sometimes some people do seem to get annoyed with that...

but please know,there's nothing inherently wrong with or bad about being outspoken or having a basically cheerful and outgoing personality.  Please don't feel like you have to change yourself completely to some docile and quiet person in order to be liked. That's simply not true.  

Sometimes all that "quietness" some people seem to prize (especially in females) isn't always so virtuous.  Sometimes it's really just a cover for that person's hostility, snobbery, insecurity, tendency to power-trip or even depression. Outgoing people tend to be friendly and they like to make people feel welcome. What's more, outgoing people tend to be less depressed and they have leadership potential...so those are positive points to having your personality trait..people like you help to bring a ray of sunshine into a world where there are just too many gloomy, pessimistic, downer and passive/aggressive types of people pouring their poison down others.

Timidity is not necessarily a personality trait you want to acquire Timid people often look standoffish and sometimes tend to wind up having people walk all over them, and that's no good.  

However, it's true that silence at times is golden...and there is a time and place for everything.  The key here is learning what and when those times and places are.  

A few ideas based on my experiences that might help:

If it's mainly a matter of having a "booming" voice, you can take voice lessons to help soften it. Talk to a teacher experienced with speech, English or theatre arts, and they might be able to give you tips or refer you to a voice coach. Actors use them all the time to develop different vocal personas.  So it might work for you, too.

Now if it's a matter of talking a lot....

You might try harnessing the energy into something else. Get involved in stuff where a person of high energy is appreciated. Some examples? If there's a theatre group in your town, why not audition for parts or if there's community access TV or radio, why not do stuff with that...or even set up an internet radio station for yourself? or if your town allows it, get into street performance. If you play a musical instrument all the better, but I've seen street performers/buskers do all sorts of things.  

Also, you might think of stuff like volunteering to be a storyteller for kids at a library, a church sunday school, visiting hospitals or something like that...or to be a greeter for local festivals and other events.

Also, consider keeping a journal to write your thoughts down in instead of communicating them face to face with others. It can be a pen and ink "diary" type or even an online blog.  That way you can still have your say, but people also have the option as to whether or not they want to read it. You can even do video blogs or make podcasts if you have to speak up.

If you really want a quieter pursuit, consider gardening or some sort of needlecraft that requires you pay strict attention in order to do it well. As I mentioned earlier, I tend to be a chatty cathy and I find that tending my gardening and doing counted cross stich does really helps calm the mind and lessens the need to talk so much.

At an extreme, you might think of putting yourself on a talk "fast"...  kind like a diet for excessive talkers. Here's how it works:  You intentionally do not initate any conversation with anyone. You deliberately make the effort to keep quiet...for anywhere from 12 to 48 hrs. You can answer in writing if you think you can't answer in one sentence.   It's not easy, but it really can work. Yes, there will be folks who will ask "what's wrong? You're not usually so quiet"...but just smile and then don't answer them.  Keep 'em guessing!  

If you're a religious person, there are even retreats you can go on where silence is required, so if you can avail yourself of that opportunity, you may find it a good discipline as well.

If you're in a social situation and someone says something and you feel the need to speak up (especially if you don't agree)...try counting slowly to yourself to 50 or reciting a lengthy poem of your choice in your head.  By that time you've fininished, the conversation has moved on and you won't have to speak up.  

Now, one last thing...is it possible that the "need" to put yourself out there personality wise like this might be tied in with an anxiety disorder? That's not uncommon.  If you think this may be the case, you might want to see a doctor who will suggest some sort of therapy if appropriate.

Answer 5

i sorta hav the same problem-

but i've managed to tone it down.

Answer 6

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

In reality, you wouldn't want to go from one extreme to the other. Outgoing is good, but not during class. One way to control it is just to raise your hand when you want to talk, and wait to be called on. That way the teacher can help to regulate it if you are talking too much by not calling on you too often.

Also, if you speak too loudly, you may need to get your hearing checked. When you listen to music, do you turn it up quite loud? Do you go to loud concerts? Sometimes that results in a temporary hearing loss. And people with hearing loss often speak too loud because they can't hear themselves too well.

Another way to tone yourself down a bit is to wear a large rubber band loosely around your wrist. If you hear yourself overdoing it, just quietly give yourself a light snap on the wrist with the rubber band. You would be surprised how much this helps you realize your effect on others. But don't lose your lovely exuberant spirit. It's far, far better to have an opinion on everything than to be unable to think for yourself. You sound like a really smart and fun person. Just become a little more aware of your surroundings, that's all.

Answer 7

You'll be surprised what you learn/observe when you stick to listening.  It is a much better attribute that being overly outgoing.

Answer 8

if your timid and nervous you're supposed to imagine everyone else in their underwear, so maybe to reverse it you should imagine yourself always in your underwear?  

Answer 9

Don't talk as much

Answer 10

I totally understand where you're coming from.  It's hard when you are a loud person, because it seems like you draw attention to yourself all the time, and not necessarily the kind you want.  What I can tell you is that you will probably grow a bit more quiet as you get older, if you learn to hear your voice when you talk.  It takes some effort to try to hear things from another person's point of view.

That said, PLEASE don't try to make yourself shy or quiet just because "your friends" think you are too loud.  If you talk to a shy person, they will tell you that feeling like you can't speak up when you have something you really want to say can be very stifling, and they often envy people who speak their minds.  There is room on this planet for every type of person, and your outgoing personality will be an asset to you at times, and a hindrance to you at times.  The most important thing is not to obsess about yourself, but to take your surroundings into consideration.  Some situations and places call for more low-key behavior, like the classroom.  Just pretend you are in church or a doctor's office.  :)  But if your friends think you are too loud or dramatic when you are just relaxing and having fun, then they are very immature.  You don't have to conform to what they think is normal.

ETA: I've noticed that usually the people who have the hardest time "dealing" with exuberant people are the kind who would also like to be heard or be the center of attention.  Shy people don't seem to be as put off by it, most of the time.  Just because a couple of kids are brash enough to say something to you that makes you feel bad doesn't mean that everyone is thinking the same thing.  There will usually be some very shy people who envy you, but are not not "brave" enough to tell you that.  In other words, the only opinions you are getting are those of people who are also the type to speak up.

Answer 11

The main thing is that you be yourself.

You sound awesome to be around.

The main thing is to tone it down just a little.

Remember to listen to people before you speak.

This will help you automatically tone it down.

People will like you even more when you listen.

I've had to adjust this in a little way myself and I told myself

if I just listen a little I'll be fine.  I did this and I've seemed to earn

more respect from people.