If your sister did this to you, how or what would you....?

Question

feel or do about it? I have a complicated chronic illness and am totally unable to work.I had NO income for the last 3 years except for the inheritance I received when our mother died a year ago.I finally just began getting SSDI. Well, my two teenage sons and I have been barely scraping by, sometimes I would worry that we would end up homeless the next month from lack of funds. My sister, [who is 20 yrs older than me and lives in a mansion alone in an exclusive Hollywood Hills area] called me and rudely wanted to know "What the h**l's going on!" She had somehow snooped into my trust/inheritance account and wanted an explanation why so little was left, and where did this money 'disappear' to? she knows Ive been sick and hospitalized. I told her I have been using it to live and support my kids because of my situation.She told me that my health problems were ridiculous, that everyone she knows has changed their diet and they are fine. I'm 5' 7" and weigh about 105 and I eat the healthiest diet one could imagine. My body cannot absorbe nutrients & I have to get IV feedings. I owe over 100K in hospital bills. I told her all this, and she kept yelling so I hung up.

Now today there is a message on my phone machine that she is coming here in 3 days to attend a funeral and she would like to get together for dinner and, as usual, stay at my house (as she is too cheap to get a hotel.) At dinners, she gets out her gold calculator and divides up everyones bill to the last penny. Never would she pay for anything for anyone else.

Now, our parents are dead and I only have a few blood relatives left.

I consider my children my family.

Would you remain in contact with her because she is your sister?

Would you even go to this dinner?

Or let her stay in your house?

I don't want to be like her, just bacause that is her nature.

What are your opinions on this?

Answer 1

What you do with that money is none of her business.  I would contact the bank and find out how she was able to get that information? I wouldnt even bother to have dinner with her.  Just because she is your sister doesnt mean you have to put up with her actions.  Just because others are doing well doesnt mean you will do well also on this diet, everyone is different and you dont have to explain yourself to her.  Who needs the extra drama.  I am sure she has a different attitude when she needs something from you like a place to stay. I wouldnt bother.  

Answer 2

The easy solution here, is to ask the bank where your accounts are held how she came into YOUR personal information. Someone needs to be held accountable for leaking very private, and personal information. Who knows you may even have yourself a gold mine of a law suit for whoever is giving her information.

Now, as for sister there.. tell her that while you would love to see her, and put her up for a day or 2, that unfortunately you just won't be able to. If she demands to know why, tell her you're opening a bed and breakfast in your home, and will only have room for paying customers. If she still insists on staying with you, charge her. As she sounds like she can more than afford it. If she wants to know WHY you need to charge her, point out she knows your financial problems as she's saw fit to snoop into YOUR business, and tell her it will go to paying your doctor bills.  Ya can bet, that next time she comes in, after being so rude and hateful to you regarding your illness, she WON'T ask to stay with you. And if she does, charge her everytime. Stop being her doormat. She's well off, you're sick and struggling. If she thinks she's allowed to belittle you, because of your illness, then show her you can't.

I know my suggestion sounds mean, but I'm of a mind that sometimes.. when someone is being unreasonable, and money is their God, that you just have to hit them where it hurts.. in their wallets.  

Answer 3

You contact your bank and find out how the h**l she got into your account. That's illegal and I would pursue it. You sister seems like a b*tch. I wouldn't cut her completely out of your life, call her on occasion (she is your sister). I wouldn't let her near my house or kids though. If she knows your sick then what the h**l is wrong with her for saying all that to you? Tell her she's not welcome in your house well she is acting so rudly.  

Answer 4

Maybe she didn't really know that you had used up so much of the money and she was only guessing to gage your reaction because i cant see how she could access your bank account.

Also tell her straight that she cant stay at your house, you don't owe her anything at all, its not like she has helped you out with your illness so tell her to book into an hotel as your house is not one.

You are her baby sister, i cant believe that she wouldn't be more helpful to you, i would bend over backwards to help my younger sister.

She sounds a very bitter woman, maybe for some strange reason she is jealous of you.

Answer 5

Tell her to stuff her self and her selfish ways and go stay in a hotel. That your barely getting by while shes living the high life makes you feel disgusted you are her little sister and she should be looking after you tell her that she should be supporting you not using you and that she is a selfish stingy money driven piece of sh*t hopefully it will wake her up especially if it is the first time you stick up to her.

Answer 6

I don't think there's anything wrong with her always splitting the bill.  Actually me and my sister always fight over which one of us is going to get to pay the bill because we always both grab for it and want to pay for the other.  However I would never expect her to pay my way and vice versa even though one of us has more money than the other.  

As far as letting her stay with you I let my sister stay with me whenever she is in town, however I also do the same with her when I am visiting where she lives.  Does she let you stay with her?  If so then I think its expected that you would let her stay with you however if you don't stay at her place then you don't have to let her stay with you.

If you really feel that your sister is a negative influence on your life then you should either talk to her about it and explain to her that you can't have a relationship with her if she continues to treat you like this or stop talking to her altogether.  Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I would tell her to stay at a hotel, and that you can't afford to go out to dinner. If she wants to talk she can do so over the phone. Just because you are home doesn't mean you have to answer the door, pick up the phone, and you don't have to be around someone that doesn't show you respect.  Get on the phone and call the bank and find out how she got into your account, and I would not be nice about this. If you have to, press charges. That is not legal, unless she is on the account.  If you want no contact, then do it, the Catholic upbringing can go out the door, evidently it did for your sister.