If your spouse or significant other does not give you affection, how do you accept this?

Question

Besides having a discussion with him, I have done that plenty of times. I am looking more for what I can do to stop expecting affection from him.

Answer 1

After a lot of discussion and he still that way..stop giving him afffection too..then he will realise how important you are...sorry,i am sick myself..anyway goodluck to you.

Much love.

Answer 2

Wow!  He needs a talking to from a man...   Knowing you have spoken to him about it and he is unresponsive, maybe your next step is to simply just detach from him in that sense...

Go about your day as normal, and don't complain for a while, give it a few weeks... Be happy and yourself and see if he notices...  See if he approaches you with unexptected hugs...  And if he does embrace it...  Let him know it was nice...

And also do sweet things for him even though...  And contrary to what some may say don't with hold s*x...  I would probably say the opp, and go a little wild on him...  Give him something to think about...

Show him an independant side almost as if you dismissed it... And at the end of the three weeks if he has not shown any sign of interst seek counseling...  And if he wont go, go on your own...  

I hope it works out for you...  

Heart♥

Answer 3

whatever he does to you, do it to him also. but just don't stop loving him.

Answer 4

I had the same problem with my second husband.  I would go for three weeks without a hug or kiss.  He was also very selfish in the bedroom, giving me attention maybe twice a month.  

It was really hard to be married to him.  He complained and criticized all the time but he never cared if I was happy.  

I finally realized that I would have to make myself happy.  I started going to community events, taking the kids to sports games anything to keep me occupied.

He finally admitted to me that he didn't love me and I left him.

While you are still in the relationship just keep yourself busy and be respectful to him but take care of yourself first. That is the only way you will be happy.

Answer 5

Some people just have problems showing emotion.. and not knowing how your spouse or significant other was raised, some men are raised from the time they are toddlers that it is wrong for men to show "emotions" u use to see it alot in generations before us, my grandfather was that type of man, my father said he never hugged or kissed him u just knew he loved them cause it wasnt "manly" to show affection especially to other males..

  

only advice other then leaving is to keep showing affection towards him.. sometimes people need to be "reprogramed" so to speak, and the best way to do so, is to show them how to love .. setting the example so to speak, and in playful ways telling him to "hug" or "kiss" you, then eventually it will become routine.. if not.. then u have to decide if u can live like this or not..

Answer 6

I usually sit on my husband and say, "I need attention!!" Then we both bust out laughing, and he cuddles me. He does the same to me if he feels the need for affection.  

Answer 7

Its hard to make your spouse or significant other give you affection...  what did you do before you became close?  Just talk..  You have to go back to the basics...  Have you had children by him?  I think he needs a wake up call..  Or in other words tell him you are going to start looking and see how fast he wakes up...  That is if he really loves you..  If he says go ahead, see if I care...  Then the relationship has been over for a while...  I do wish you love...  Grant M in Pennsylvania

Answer 8

Well since you already talked to him about this and that didnt work ... Dont STOP expecting that of him and isnt fair , perhaps he doesnt know how or maybe there is something wrong with him, work maybe he is depressed . Why dont you try and write him a letter and very calmly spill everything out on the letter. Perhaps it will open his eyes and maybe you can get that affection. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.  

Answer 9

my hubby always says get a life outside of him...   but if your like me you think whats the point of being with you if theres no affection...  Better that you love him too much than not at all.  

But suppose you can pick up your own hobbies without hubby.. and he will see your doing things on your own and being independant so to speak and he just may come around...

Answer 10

If you need affection to feel loved (which is normal) and he won't give you any then you are with the wrong man. You don't want or need the sames things.

There is nothing worse then being married to a man that never shows you any affection or who is giving it to someone else.

Why should you accept being in a marriage where there is no affection? WHY????

Answer 11

well my guy is on medications. He gives me no affection what so ever. Mabye when he grew up as a kid he didnt get much affection. U should chat with him about that.

Answer 12

firstly make sure that you communicate affection in the same manner. Some people communicate affection by companionship, some by gift giving, so people verbally, others by physically touching (hugging etc) and sometimes people do it by the things that they do like cleaning up around the house, working hard at their jobs etc. If you are not aware of the manner in which your partner is communicating affection you will mistake this for a lack of affection for you and it is damaging to the relationship. Could start would be to ask you spouse about how they communicate affection.  

Answer 13

You cant make soemone be that way. So you need to accept it or find another person to be with. I dont that issue. Mine is oppisite!  You will NEVER change him so dont try or marry him thinking you can.

Answer 14

If you have talked about it an things haven't changed, try to do things to intice him to want to give you affection.  After doing this, if it don't work, then make up your mind if you can do without being affectionate for years to come.  It's going to be extremely difficult, because he will preceive not get it until you stop trying and he'll understand when it's on the other foot as the saying go.

Answer 15

well if he does not show me affection i dint show him affection, and if he wants to know whats wrong you get out there and tell him whats bothering you, but all girls need attention:) i hope that i helped:) good luck:)