Im 13 and i had s*x and my g/f pregnant and her parents say if i dont pay 100% of all fc?

Question

i opened the last question and now i owe 500 dollars to my citys government for numerous graffiti charges and an assault crime

and im already in debt with my fines and my g/f parents say if i dont support the baby 100% they will sew me.

please give helpful comments not on graffiti or assault but on how i can support the baby.

Answer 1

i'm sorry for what you're going through right now but as i always say, having s*x is a very serious responsibility - one that should be planned properly.

there's nothing you can do but accept the consequences and grow up fast. i'm really sorry

Answer 2

if your parents won't help you, then the only thing you can do to support the baby is get a job. most places won't let you get a job until you are 15, but some places give jobs to 14 year olds. mostly fast food. but since you are 13, i'd say you should just go out and mow lawns and all that stuff because it will be very hard to find an employer.

is she keeping the baby for sure?

are her parents going to help?

in my opinion, you should get your court stuff out of the way. you don't want to end up in juvy, right?

im sorry:/ i hope all goes well.

Answer 3

You're not off to a very good start, are you, Grasshopper?

You and your family should be in touch with a Legal Aid lawyer as soon as possible, for all that you have facing you.  It's not just you that's responsible for your debts, but your parents, too, whether they like it or not.  Legally, they're called "respondent superiors", that is, they're responsible for your actions and all of the consequences.  

Ultimately, a judge will decide what you owe and for how long (like until the baby is 18), unless your family and the girl's family come to an agreement on your own.  A judge can order you to be held in juvenile detention (jail) unless you get a job, no matter what it pays, and make some contribution to the baby and his or her mother.

Then there's the reality that you're going to be a daddy soon and may or may not be allowed to ever see or hold your baby. How do you feel about that?

You need professional legal help, and the sooner the better.  I really hope it all works out.  It often does.  Best wishes and God bless.

Answer 4

why did u have s*x a leats u could have put on a condom

Answer 5

You're a dumbass.

Answer 6

Nobody else has yet said this, but it needs saying (again!) - you WILL get through this, and it IS possible to put your life back together. You MUST try to find the right counsellor - someone who will accept the situation without passing judgement, and give you practical advice.

I can't do much from this distance, and anyway I'm not trained as a counsellor (I am qualified professionally in a completely different field). But there are people in every community who really care. We all make mistakes - you've made a bad one; but I don't know your background, or your girlfriend's. Your generation is bombarded with irresponsible ideas about s*x, but the people who do that rarely have to face the consequences.

This isn't the first time this has happened in human history, and it won't be the last. In some "primitive" societies the baby would have been adopted, with very little fuss. Sometimes I wonder which societies are "primitive" and which are "civilized". In Albania the age of consent is 14 (see url below).

I don't know whether the following will help at all:

http://www.raysender.com/elwin.html

It takes a bit of reading, but does give a view of sexuality which is very different from that now prevailing in most English-speaking countries.

In any case anger isn't going to help - what you need now is support; I hope you find it soon.

Answer 7

i cannot belive you have to deal with all of this at such a young age..

you have to realize that unfortuantley you did take the wrong path with a lot of the decisions you have made but you can look at it one of two ways..

you can either say wow my life is gonna suck from here on out..and you could end up going down a bad path and someday end up in jail (harsh but true..ive seen it happen) or you can really be a responsible young adult and realize that you did make some mistakes and grow from them..you may think you are alone bc noone is really supporting you..however..you have a gf and she is 13 and preg..she has to deal with this too..so unfortuantley as of now it seems like your life is over..but you need to know that is not entirely true..just keep your head up..please please stay strong..i know life gets hard and a lot of times you just feel like you wanna curl up in a ball and forget everything..but you have not only yourself to worry about now..you have a gf and a child on the way..so as of now..you still have time to be young..there are many many options on what you can do with your life..just do whats best for you and your child..goodluck kid hope things work out

Answer 8

d**n next time try trojan =D

jk

Sorry but this is what I wou- ABORTION!!! ABORTION!!!!

Answer 9

Do you see a pattern here?  of impulsive. destructive, or anti-authority behaviors?

I'd want someone to look into this, during the court proceedings, which will be held because you're underaged, probably, in your city.  In my city, you would be held responsible for half of the costs of the child, until the child became an adult at 19.

But, there are many things to consider here.  Talk to your defense attorney, the police (who would probably have excellent advice on how to improve your life), a doctor, your parents of course, her parents of course..

Be honest, and face the situations you've been part of.  When you take the first steps, and with honesty, following up on each of your promises, others will be very willing to help you.

You are important, but so are the girl and child.  Everything that you do should also be supportive of them.  You didn't get into the problem alone, and you'll need help managing it.

Keep asking for help and advice, then take it.

Answer 10

You need to sort your life out, show the people around you that you are turning things around and you want to do the right thing. Once people see this they will be more inclined to help you. Everyone makes mistakes, you just made a big one early on. Get your head down in school and try to find some sort of work. It`s gonna be tough but if you take the easy route through life you don`t earn respect.  

Answer 11

Serious options are these:

1. Quit school and get work and support this child. That means whatever work you can get, as many hours as you need to provide a home and everything else for a child.

2. Sign away your parental rights to this child.

I would choose two and encourage the mother to do the same and put the child up for adoption. And learn from this heartbreaking lesson!

You don't have time to try to go to school and try to provide money. You are too young to be an effective father, this is why s*x is a serious adult activity.

Maybe a family member can take the child, but please learn from your mistakes, or you will fall into a pattern of making many lives harder by fathering children too young.

Answer 12

Learn that your actions have consequences. You are far too young to have so many issues. You have no rights with any of this. As a sperm donor, you have no rights and as a minor, you have no rights. But you must learn from your mistakes, otherwise you’ll have a huge criminal record and a dozen kids by the time you’re 18 and the rest of us will have to pay for your mistakes.

Answer 13

the baby will still remain yours and the father.i mean if you have money you may support it and if you don't have then you don't.

Answer 14

It's a shame you had to grow up so quickly.  You should have just stayed a kid.  But at least you've learned at least one valuable lesson:  there ARE consequences for your actions.

I highly recommend that you give the kid up for adoption.  I know that's not your choice, but you need to convince the mother of the child that it's the best thing to do.  

Here's the problem:  you're too young to work, and make any money.  In most states, you've got to be at least fourteen, and in many, it's sixteen.  And even then, you're limited on the number of hours you can work.  And you need to be in school, getting your education, rather than working.

Sadly, her parents may be able to sue YOUR parents for support;  again, it depends on what state you live in, since you're too young to provide any financial means.

I would suggest getting a lawyer and let him handle the gory details.  

And, I would suggest you keep your nose clean, your p***s in your pants, and get your education.  Good luck.

Answer 15

Abortion, like they say, kills a beating heart, or "one dead, one wounded,"  so if you and she decide to not raise the baby together, then find a couple that are responsible and want a baby. Bailing out on your responsibilities makes you a prick and launches you into an entire life of repeating the failure/bail cycle.

If everyone would be willing to do so, you and she, and both sets of parents should sit in a neutral (public) place and discuss the options that the two of you and the baby have, and then things should be a lot clearer for you if you see what all of your options are, including what either set of parents are willing or may be willing to do to help out at all. You may have to ask your parents to help you see what the options are separate from her parents, and have her ask her parents the same question.

To me, it would seem to make the most sense to either give the baby up for adoption or have family members help to raise the child while you both get through school and can get good paying jobs to give the baby a fair chance at a future. The baby is not going to benefit any from you being milked for money you don't have by the baby's mother's parents.

Answer 16

I am not sure someone like you should have a child... you are way too young. I say go to court. They can't possibly expect a little boy (and by your writing and comments - despite your apprent ability to make babies, that is what you are) to support anybody 100%... you aren't even old enough to get a real job!

Answer 17

Well sure it was a dumb situation to get yourself into but.....irrelevant now, you're already in it and you can't change it. The only thing you can do it try and do the right thing now and support your girlfriend, it won't be easy on anyone whatever you do but the lesser of the two evils. I hope you get some kind of support and that you show yourself to be a decent human being by at least trying to do what you can.

Best of luck to you all, i know it will not be easy.

EDIT due to your comments - I have been about as supportive as I can be, which was not reflected in your comments saying no one is giving anything positive, I would rather just wish you and everyone involved luck as I know it will be tough.

Answer 18

dont know what to suggest to you regarding money but make sure you be a father to the baby it means far more than money. Good luck

Answer 19

Feel free to email me through my profile. I probably can't help much, but I have a feeling you know you've made some pretty heavy mistakes, especially at 13. I'm glad you've decided to be part of the baby's life, and your girlfriend's. That is a mature step you've taken.

You came here admitting you've messed up and that now you need help, I wish people would be a little more understanding and actually try to help instead of just yelling.

Either way, your parents are supposed to be legally responsible for you. Your best bet would be getting a job around the neighborhood (lawn, pools, etc.). I think a lot of what both of your parents are saying is out of anger, shock, and disappointment. Apologize. Tell them you know you made huge mistakes but you can't go back and fix them and now you're just trying to make the best of this situation. Eventually, hopefully, they'll calm down enough to help you somehow.

Answer 20

Everyone has mostly covered but your only thirteen.  You should have waited or at least have the sense to have protected s*x.  Man there's no need to rush, but you made the mistake now you have to pay.

Answer 21

Two kids raising a baby is no future for all three of them

I'd suggest to give up your parental rights.And her as well:and give the baby up for adoption.

And never get another girl pregnant again.

Deal with your fines,get them sorted and get back to your studies and finish them.

Good luck,dude

Space.

Answer 22

they cant sew you, one you were never married to her so its considered your b@55tard child, i dont think u have to do anything, and if u do, buy it a crapy crib, crapy toys you get the picture

edit::

your an idot, srry to say but u really are and most likly the stupidist person on the planet, and the "iam only 13, it was an accident" no, it wasnt an accident, you new what s*x was which is why u had it, you obviously new where babys come from, so you decided iam going to have s*x without a condom, and big suprise i am having a baby

and aperently if you are going to do the stupidist thing as graffiti then your shouldnt get caught, come on, thats the stupist thing to get caught doing and doing, and graffiti is my life, is it that sad u need something like that to get by

good luck

Answer 23

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start feeling sorry for your gf. She's having a baby from a man she doesn't love and doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with. Plus she has to go through the pregnancy, not you, her...

Answer 24

in ur dreams

excuse me wake up!

Answer 25

There is not much you can do. You're parents would have to pay for everything right now since you are still a minor. Most places will not even hire someone younger than 14 or 15. Do your parents know what is going on or can they help you in any way? You definitely need a lawyer. If you can't support the baby and don't want it, you should really consider giving up your right. Just make sure you really think about everything though. Be careful.

Answer 26

Well, you're in quite a pickle.  I won't judge you, I'll just try to give you the best advice I can.  Both you and the girl made some big mistakes together, when you're children you make mistakes.  These mistakes had big consequences.

Don't quit school.  You need to complete your education for yourself and possibly for this child.  I don't think you can be made to pay child support when you're under age, and you have the right to an education through high school.  You might be made to pay child support after you reach age 18.  However, if you don't have a job and are going to school, how can you pay child support?  You might be billed child support payments after the fact when you have a job.  Maybe you'll be lucky and the girl will abort or miscarry, or give up the baby for adoption.  Get in touch with a guidance counselor at school for advice on what to do.  You'll probably have to listen to a short lecture about consequences and "have you learned your lesson", but then they'll get down to the business of helping you find the best solution to this situation.

Girlfriend's parents are threatening to sue you because they're angry and want someone to blame.  They can't sue you, you're a minor.  Your parents are responsible for your behavior, they can sue them.  If it comes to that, a good lawyer will point out that they weren't very responsible for their girl's behavior themselves, so maybe they should bear some of the cost.  They might just be talking about suing you because they're angry, and they don't really intend to.  They know you're a poor 13 year old with no personal fortune.  You can't get blood out of a turnip.

Good luck.

Answer 27

Give up your rights if you don't want to be part of the babies life. And ya you should get a lawyer. Why did you have s*x if the first place anyway.  

Answer 28

They can't do anything to you as you are a minor!!! Her parents are trying to scare the h**l out of ya and it worked!  It would be hard to find a job now at 13, but base on the circumstances, her parents should be responsible for her daughter, and is also your responsibility to wear condoms.  Don't worry about it too much.  This will help you make better choices in your life.  Avoid dealing with her parents. You will be liable at 18 to support this kid which will be 5 years old. If you need to talk to someone about this call 1-800-784-2433 (Suicide hot line). But they can talk to you about anything that troubles you.  Best of luck.  

Answer 29

how trailerpark-ish...

Answer 30

Basically, Your screwed. One. Why are you having unprotected s*x at 13!? and two. Why Why graffiti!? Look you got yourself into this and im sorry but i think your going to have a hard time getting through this but you will have too.