Im 13yr and my mom hits me and im homeschooled and she dont even help me!?

Question

she leaves me at home to do it by myself!

Answer 1

It's probably hard for you to give more details on this site, so you should call an aunt or older cousin.  If you can't do that, try another chat board where you can open up more to people your age.   Can you tell us how long she has been hitting you? Is it on face? Is she just trying tough love to get you to work harder, some parents think that is O.K.  It's not, so tell her she is hurting your self esteem.  

Maybe you could write her a note on how she hurts your feelings.  Tell her your too old for spankings and want to talk. She might need some parenting classes, you could call a church to see if they can offer that or some other advice. But, be careful what you say, they might be required to call the police.  You could keep it simple and say your mother is starting to lose her temper and doesn't know how to give me a schedule and you will tell her to call them.  Then give your mother the information about parenting meetings.

Search for education sites that are free online.  Is the library close enough to ride your bike to?  They have lots of text books with examples.  And you need to read every day for 30 min.

I don't know hun, this is complicated.  Nobody's perfect.

Don't call child protective services if the hitting isn't that bad.  Are they really just spankings? She can change. You don't want to be put in Foster care where worse things can happen to you.  She probably has some problems right now that you don't know of.  She might even be going through menopause.

Answer 2

Hits you or spanks you??? Trust me, there's a big difference. I'm 15 and still get spanked sometimes, as do 99.9% of my mates.

(My sister copped it last week and she's 18; it happens, no big deal. As my dad's always telling us: 'it happenned, it hurt, it's gone, get over it'. She's gonna get it again when mum finds out what I know, too...aha! the power! the influence! *grin*)

If you're 13 and she's spanking you then, unless you live somewhere such as Sweden, Germany or NZ where it's been outlawed, you've just got to suck it up. You could go and complain to the cops/community services but, if that's your only 'problem', you're not likely to get much of a sympathetic response! If they're anything like the cops up here, chances are they'd just ROFL at you!  

In order to make a complaint to the cops or child services here, you'd first have to be able to prove that your mum has 'evil intent' towards you. I don't know where you are or if any similar requirement exists in your locale but it might be worth checking *before* you run off to the cops/community services!

Unless you're at *serious* (life-threatening) risk, you'd probably be jumping out of the frying pan and slap-bang into the fire anyway, if you involve the cops, social workers etc.

Where's your dad? What does he think?

Or your grandparents? What do they think? Older siblings? Aunt? Uncle?

As for the homeschooling, have you tried sitting down with your mum and *CALMLY*, *POLITELY*, *RESPECTFULLY* asking your mum for more help and support?!?

Have you taken the time to listen, *REALLY* listen, to her response?!?

Again, what does your dad think about it?

If your mum has sole custody of you for some reason then she has the legal right to keep you out of school if that's what she chooses to do. She needs to provide you with an education 'appropriate to your age and abilities' but, by the age of 13, you *should* be capable of handling much of your education for yourself...or of finding adult relatives/friends/neighbours to mentor you.

Finally, if you really need more help/support than your mum is able to give you, have you asked her about the possibility of you enrolling in an online programme, cyber school etc?!?

Answer 3

1. Talk to your mom about your concerns. If your relationship is so bad or you are frightened to do this, then

2. Talk to your dad or another adult in the family to whom your mom might be receptive.  If you are frightened to do that then

3.  Put in a call to your state's Child Protective Services.  You can do that anonymously or you can be frank with them and let them know what is going on.

You say your mom hits you but you don't really tell us what that means.  Parents are allowed to physically punish children as long as that punishment is non-abusive.  Can you avoid the situations that cause you to be hit? Does your mother hit you in a rage?  How often does it happen?  For what reasons?  All of the answers to these questions will be important to the worker at Child Protective Services.

Good luck child.  No one deserves to be hit.  I wonder how your mother would feel if she were hit by another adult for any reason.

Answer 4

Hi there.  Mom's lives are complicated.  It's not okay for her to hit you, it's probably not even about you, but about whatever she's dealing with.  It is important to be on the same "team"--try talking to your mom and asking her if there's anything you can do to co-operate and make your family/household a more harmonious and peaceful place.  Tell her you don't want to be hit any more.  (I am assuming here that the hitting is not severe, or every day, or bad enough that it leaves bruises, that kind of thing:  in which case, follow the advice of the other posters about Child Protection, etc.!!)  

As for the homeschooling:  this is a great opportunity to become more self-directed.  There is so much useful information and assistance online, there is no reason you can't school yourself.  Also:  use the library.  Join a homeschooling support group.  Etc.  Make a schedule for yourself, and discuss it with your mom--ask for her input and any suggestions she might have.  If she is really completely unhelpful, you might tell her you wish to go to school, and give her your reasons.  If you prefer to homeschool, you might have to take more responsibility for your own learning, and without resenting it, if at all possible.  I know it doesn't seem fair sometimes, but this is your life.  Do the best you can for yourself....

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Troll alert!!!!

FWIW, my HS'ed son is 10 and does most of his work on his own.  He doesn't like me to butt in unless he needs some help, then he asks me.

You are not homeschooled.  You are simply truant from any education.  If you're abused, then contact a trusted family member or the authorities.  You're old enough.

However, I still think you're a troll.

Answer 6

first of all your mom should never hit you. tell her your feelings and if worst comes to worst then call the cops.

if you have no choice but to be home-schooled then there are many websites that offer free help on some subjects. try math.com or just google " free online tutoring".

do what ever you can to get into public school. remember that you don't deserve to be hit. stand up for yourself and be assertive. turn to friends for help.

best of luck!

Answer 7

Hi to you my little brave soul.. You have taken the first and the biggest step.  Reaching out and talking about it.  First off I do not believe in hitting.  I know from experience.  I was raised with a strong hand.  When I was little I believed it was to teach me a lesson but as I got older I felt it was to hurt me more than help me.   When you are a child you have no rights and you are in the hands of your parents.  Sometimes parents only know what they were taught.  If I could go back and know what I know now I would of handled my situation different..  Maybe I would of tried writing a letter to my parents to let them know how I was feeling and let them know that I wanted to work things out instead of rebelling against them.  I would of asked them what could I do different to make them not so angry.  Maybe I could of asked them what I could do to make there life easier.  I do know that there are better ways of handling things without any physical pain.  It sounds to me like your mom has alot of anger.  There is information online about anger.  How to controll your anger and how to deal with someone who has anger issues.  Maybe that will help.  I used to be so angry at my parents for the way they handled things but today I feel bad for them because I feel like they missed out big time on alot of good things in life because the anger got in the way.  So my words of wisdom to you my friend is to do some researce online.  How to deal with an angry parent.  Maybe it will tell you something about defusing the anger instead of setting it off.  I found this site, www.abusiveparents.com and I think it will answer alot of questions you may have.  Hang tuff my friend.  knowledge and wisdom is your best defence.