Im 14 & im having twin girls in 5 months!!!!?

Question

i dont know what to do....ive picked out names for them and i think i have to give them up for adoption!!!! should i give them up or keep them!!!! HELP!!!! and please i dont want to hear about how i shouldnt of had s*x in the first place....i know that but its to late to go back!!

Answer 1

I think children are a gift from God but

if you cant afford them or dont want them to hold you back in life you should give them up just make sure they go to a GREAT family that will love them for what they are..If you are really considering give them up I would love the chance to talk to you about them because my husband and I can no longer have children WE have a 5 year old little girl but I became sick and can no longer have them We have tried and tried to no avail please thank seriously about this I know you dont know me but I would love to be a mommy again

Answer 2

Giving them up is not going to be easy, but is a decision that would probably be in their best interest.  Realistically, you are not ready to parent them at age 14.  

I don't envy your position.  My best friend in college was 19 and thought she was too young to be a mother and she also didn't want to be a single parent.  She gave up the baby and went on to get married and have three more children with her husband.

Ask yourself, "Would I want to be raised by someone who is only 14 years older than I am?"  If you do decide to keep the girls, be prepared to make sacrifices and don't expect your life to ever be the same again.

Answer 3

I can't tell you what to do but I got pregnant with my oldest son at 17 and had him at 18 and I am so glad now that I did not give him up for adoption. He will be 7 in December and I would have missed so much if I would've given him up for adoption.

Answer 4

Congratulations. If you're able to keep them then keep them because to give them up is the hardest thing in the world. You'll think about them forever. If you have to give them up for reasons beyond your control that's the only time you should give them up. If you need to talk i'll listen

Answer 5

I have two year old twin girls and a four year old son. I’m 30 years old, married and in a good financial position and still having twins was one of the most stressful things that has ever happened to me. Having said that I must also say it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me…they are amazing!  My advice to you depends on what kind of family/friends support you have. If you have a large helpful support group then you may just stand a chance with keeping your babies. Even at that you will be sacrificing your whole life for these babies…no exaggeration.  I think the wisest thing would probably be adoption, but that is easier said than done.  You know deep down what is best for those babies, now you just need to do it. Good luck, my heart goes out to you.

Answer 6

If you have any support and if there is any way possible, keep them. You are very young now but when you get older it will hurt you to have your first children out in the world. But only keep them if you hav a strong and dedicated support system like parents grandparents aunts and uncles! A young boyfriend doesn't count, guys change thier minds and can disappear. But if you can manage to keep them do, there is nothing like the way you love your own children.

Answer 7

i was not going to say any thing like you should 'not had s*x in the first place' you are bringing a new baby in life the get to explorer life like you get to do i think that the best way is for you is to give them up do not leave them on a door step they need to be safe and warm in a home it is best for you because so you can finish middle school (or what ever) then you are ready to have kids at the best school (college too!lol) i really want me and you to become friends( online) i hope that the birth of two lovely little girls so do what is best for you and the girls(unborn)

Luv-

Demia

Answer 8

I don't know you, you don't know me, but i support you! i am an adoptive parent and i commend you for even thinking beyond yourself!!!  Call a local pregnancy hot-line, who will then direct you to where they feel you need to go so you can talk to someone, don't feel like you need to make a final choice now, you need to speak wit someone who can help guide you to make the correct choice.  

.....and after all whom are we to judge, we have all made mistakes, its only our job to make them right, not to judge.

Also, if you decide adoption is your route, open adoption is one way for you to choose your adoptie parents, and still have some sort of contact, its not 1950 anymore.

Answer 9

I know that this must be a very difficult time for you.  Although it will not be easy for you, I think you should give the babies up for adoption.  You are still a child yourself and probably do not have the means to support them or raise them. You need to finish your education and grow up before becoming a parent.   Perhaps you could arrange an open adoption where the parents could send you pictures and updates on the children as they grow.  Good luck to you and God bless you.

Answer 10

I suggest giving them up for adoption. your WAY too young. If you get more children, youll regret it.

Answer 11

You should prob give them up for adoption to give them the best start at life because i doubt a 14 year old could raise one let alone two babies.

Im sorry to hear that next time be more careful cause this is what happens.

Answer 12

The best thing for both you and the babies would probably be to give them up. A baby is a 24 hour/day 7day/week responsibility. Twins are difficult even with 2 parents. You would be better off finishing school and giving yourself as well as your babies a better chance at a good life.

Answer 13

Do you have anyone, mother, grandma, aunts to help you out. My friend and his girlfriend decided to give up their twins because they were so young and they still see them to this day. It a tough decision and its one that no one else can make. You are young and need to do ALOT of growing up. Just living a life of your own. Once you have kids, you HAVE KIDS. You forget all about yourself and your needs and all you can think about is those babies. What it really comes down to, is that you need to think whats the BEST thing for those babies. Are you able to support them financially? Think about what a new life needs ?  Babies need alot of time, love, food, diapers, PATIENCE. It will be hard to give them up, but knowing that they are going into a wonderful home where they will have ALL of their needs FULFILLED. ..Knowing that should make you feel so wonderful and therefore making it easier to give them up. I don;t know your situation hun, but if you cant take care of them, give them up.

Answer 14

Keep your girls. Do you have support? Are your parents willing to help? There are alot of questions you have to ask yourself. You obviously don't have experience with mothering as you are only 14, but you will shortly learn. If you are going to be on your own with this, rather give them up for adoption. It's all up to the rest of your situation. But personally, i think, it was you who made the decision to have s*x and now you should take responsibility for your actions. Children need their parents, not strangers.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do

Answer 15

they are your kids and personally i think you should keep them. what does the father of these babies think? n e way it is YOUR decision not any one elses on Y!A.

Answer 16

Baby, you need to talk with your family, people make mistakes.  My mother was a single mother at the age of 15 but she only had one baby.  But if your family supports you then keep your children.  You can make it.  There are all types of assistance programs that you can go to, to get help. The state will pay for daycare while your at school and give you vouchers for infamil.  It's up to you and your parents (or guardians).  You still have 5 months don't rush it.  Take all 5 months if you need to.  Good luck sweety, take your time and make the right choice.  Also, ignore there negative answers they just tried to chop me down for wanting to adopt.  Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 17

Will your family support you and your twin girls? Both mentally and emotionally. If your family will help you and it is what you want to do, then keep your daughters. If you and your family have enough love, want and resources to support thoes baby girls then go ahead. But if you have any doubt, or your family can't or won't help you, it might be in the best interest of the girls to have a family who can. Contact a social worker and they can help you even more. They will not force you, or even try to persuade you, to do one or the other.

Good luck, and congradulations.

Even if it doesn't feel like it now things will work out.

Answer 18

My heart goes out to you as you are in a VERY difficult position with extremely difficult decisions facing you.  Whichever way you decide to go - adoption or parenting, it will be a long hard road.  

It sounds like placing the babies for adoption would be the VERY BEST for THEM!!  It's hard enough raising one child at a time, even when you are older and married, let alone two!  I think you have no real comprehension of what they will need and how much work it will be and how much your life will change forever if you try to keep them.  

There are so many couples out there, myself and my husband included, that can't have children and would love more than anything to adopt your beautiful twins and give them a great, happy life.  Your babies didn't ask to be born into this kind of situation and they deserve the very best.  They need two parents who are married, mature, financially/socially/emotionally stable.  You deserve to get to finish growing up yourself, without having to try to raise two children by yourself.

Maybe your family is willing to help, but they are still raising you and may not WANT to start over raising 2 babies.  It is YOUR responsibility to make the best decision and do what is best for the babies.  You got into this and you need to make the most responsible decision, even if it's extremely hard for YOU!  THat is what you owe to these babies you created.

Whoever the father is, I really highly doubt he can help to provide for them, even if he does stick around (which is EXTREMELY unlikely).  Older men have a hard time with that much comitment, let alone some teenage guy!

For more info, visit www.itsaboutlove.org.  It's a website for a very respectable, honest, reputable adoption agency.  There is an 800# listed on the website that you can call for FREE for more information and to talk to a professional counselor who can help you explore your options.  They WILL NOT pressure you into anything, just help you through this.  Also, on the website there are profiles of prospective adoptive couples that are waiting to adopt, so you can get a good idea of what kind of couples are out there waiting.  

Good luck!  I really feel for you and wish I could be of more help!  All I know is how much love and appreciation a wonderful adoptive family would have to be able to raise your babies.  I have a beautiful adopted daughter myself and she is my WORLD!!!  I love her with all my heart and she is a miracle and a treasure to me EVERY DAY!  You could give someone this same kind of miracle!

Answer 19

You dont "have" to give them up for adoption. But I think it would be in yours and there best interest if you did. Your young you have your whole life ahead of you.Besides there are lots of people out there like me and my husband that want to adopt. Put them up for adoption, im sure they will have  wonderful parents to raise them....Good luck!

Answer 20

your best chose is to give up the twin baby or ask can you keep them but some parent will yes or some would no .But I think the best chose to keep the baby than give they to any strength, you are best off keep them.

Answer 21

Well I think you should keep them!!!!!!!

Answer 22

Well i would keep them only if i have familey to support me and some money . I would have the dad to your twins try getting a job .But i would really try being home schooled beause graduating is such a big thing to do  when you are going to raise children .  ANd start saving money because one baby can cost up to 10,000 dollars a year  and now think of two .

Answer 23

If your parents are supportive, i say thank God for them. Its going to be hard no matter what you do honey. I'm 19 and pregnant with a single birth and i know its going to be extremely hard  for even me and I'm married! I think you and your parents should really sit down and think about your options, if they can help you and want to keep them, i think that's the best option. If they dont think you can handle it, adoption would bless the lives of  some couple who wants children desperately. I think for sure go with what your parents say. you may feel a sense of not being in control of your life, but think about it..youre only 14 and 2 children is hard work!

I hope everything works out for you!

Mommy to be in May

Answer 24

I don't know what your situation is, but I do have a friend who had a baby at 14 and then another 2 years later, kept them both and is now a successful business woman with a beautiful life.

She also had a lot of family support.

It can be done, but I just hope your mom and dad are being loving and kind with you, also visit Girl-mom.com

Good luck.

Answer 25

Honey, how is your support system at home?

Do you parents know about your pregnancy?

If so, do they seem willing to take care of your girls with you, or instead of you (meaning, they be considered mom and dad instead of grandma/grandpa?).

I have not been in your situation, but you definitely need a compassionate, understanding ear.

You are the children's mother...and even though you're young...you and only you alone can consider whether you're adult enough to try to take care of the children or let the children go to a waiting family who can take care of them in ways you cannot at this time.

You are still their mom, so don't let people try to say "you're 14, you have no rights".

You DO have the rights, and you need to know your rights.

Should you choose to place your girls for adoption, you have the right to ask for visits, cards, letters...whatever you feel will be comfortable for you.

You have the right to be part of your children's lives should you want to.

You have the right to adopt them to a loving home and then turn away and never look back should you decide to.

You will ALWAYS have feelings of loss and regret when you place them for adoption.  Don't ever let people tell you the pain will go away.  It NEVER will.  You will ALWAYS wonder what happened and how they are doing.

Only you will know what is best for your girls and your situation.

I pray that you have a strong family unit behind you, but if you do not, consider adopting your children from birth rather than trying and failing miserably (if it was just you alone to attempt to raise them at your age) to where the state would come in and take them, and put them in foster care and adopt them away that way.

Much worse to go through the state than through a private agency.

I'm sorry you're in such a scary situation, but you do NOT have to adopt away your babies.  Don't let ANYONE tell you you HAVE to.  Only YOU can decide this, even if you are "just 14".

((((LOTS OF HUGS)))

Answer 26

21 hours ago you said you are 14 and think you are pregnant. That is one fast pregnancy if you are 5 months along now!!! I suppose this is another fake question on here. But if you are serious, give the babies up. If you are too keep them, than you would KNOW that you are meant to do this. If you question it, than don't because others out there KNOW that they are meant to be paretns

Answer 27

thats really sad =[

another baby[s] who will grow up not having a parent

poor little things they didnt ask to be here ,

Answer 28

Though I can't answer your ? I can agree with you that people need to stop giving stupid answers and treating us like babies!!!!

Answer 29

Giving them up for adoption would probably give those babies the very best chance in life. It doesn't mean you don't love them. In fact it means you loved them so super much that you wanted them to have the best chance in life. Its fine for you to pick out names and all of that. A lot of Adoptive parents keep your name as a middle name as kind of a tribute to you. Look up adoption in the phone book or on the Internet and find a reputable private adoption agency and call them up. These people have social workers and therapists working w/them and can answer all your questions and make you feel so much better. If they are a good, reputable agency they won't pressure you to make any decisions. If that happens find a different agency. You should be able to have an open adoption and pick and meet the parents who will raise your children. You will set up guidelines w/them for meeting your children, sending and receiving letters and all that kind of stuff. I went through this process w/a close family member a few years ago when she put her child for adoption. It's not easy, I won't tell you that. She feels sad sometimes, but she never regrets her decision. She is still in school and has a boyfriend, part-time job and hangs out w/friends on the weekends. All the stuff a person her age should be doing. If you need to talk or have any other questions feel free to drop me a line. Good luck w/everything!!!

Answer 30

As an adoptive parent, I will always advice young girls to consider adoption.  It is the greatest gift you will ever give these and your future children. Parenthood is hard, I adopted my first child when I was 32 and I had no idea how difficult it would be.  There are many great adoption agencies, look in to them as quickly as possible.

Answer 31

First of all, dont pay any atention to these people. There are so many rude people out there. We adopted our daughter from a young mother. She was in the same boat as you. YOu can keep these babies and give them the love you can or you can have them adopted. You are having twins so, think of this. IF you keep these babies, they can be preemies. Our daughter was eight weeks early and she is now two and has some medical problems. But the choice is yours. If you want to have them adopted try to see if a family memeber can adoptd them if not find a loving home for them. The state can help you. If you need to talk let me know. Keeping you oin prayers. :):):)