Im 20 years old and I feel like Ive already screwed up my entire life.?

Question

Ive smoked pot off and on for the last 5 years. Its been about a month since I smoked last. Ive done horrible in the last 3 semesters in college and my gpa is horrible. Im not even going to school right now. I had to move back to my parents house because I was dealing with depression. Ive been molested many times, and Ive gone down on 4 guys, all of which I didnt want to. One of them was an old man that I barely met and I didnt find remotely attractive. So ive been going to therapy and got on depression meds, but I still feel absolutely hopeless. I feel like Ive lost my dignity. The only thing I got going for me is that im still a virgin, Im pretty, and nice. But seriously I hate everything else about myself. I dont even want to stop smoking pot. Im such a loser, I have no friends whatsoever, never have. I dont even know what to do anymore. Im so lost. Im moving across the country in two weeks to live with my uncle and work for him, I dont even want to (I barely know my relatives), Im just doing it because my life is going no where and Im a disgrace to my immediate family. What do I do? Any comforting words would be nice because I feel like the scum of the earth.

Answer 1

I don't think your scum...My sister is 24...25 maybe (that's how close we are!)...and she has four children...She only takes care of one,all do to her great life in dealing pills.You on the other hand are 20,and don't have children...Your just trying to find yourself in a very 'rough' way.One day you'll wake up a realize that this isn't worth it...You'll be fine...E-mail me if you need to talk...I'm good at listening.

Answer 2

You are still very young. There are many people that have done worse things at much younger ages. Life can be hard, but from where you're standing it could be much worse. You're taking a step in the right direction, good for you. Keep it up and you'll be surprised where you could end up. You've got a long life ahead of you.

Answer 3

Yes you have made some horrible choices.  But you have a perfect opportunity to start over.

Stop smoking pot because it will prevent you from getting a good job later.  

Try to put your past behind you.  Leave your old habits and start new ones.

When you move try to get involved in something social as in volunteering.  It is good for the soul to help others.  Join a church.  Some larger churches have wonderful groups for young adults.  

Forgive yourself and move on! Do the best you can when you get where you're going.  

Answer 4

I didn't read the whole post (because it's too long!) but based on scimming through what I've read, you're still young. Just start over. You'll be fine.  

Answer 5

encouraging words are nice, but ultimaltly the final decision is up to you to reroute your life. it looks bad on paper but for the most part its not as bad as it seems to be. the best thing is to let God have control over yourlife, dont focus so muchon trying to please your relatives, because most of the time they can be your biggest hinderence.

What you have to do is position yourself around positive people. people with goals, people with a relationship with God.

i  know theres some type of hobby or activity you like to do. try to use them to occupy your mind with the positive.

One more thing since you have been able to remain a vigin though all of that, that goes to show that you have a stronger will power, and more self confindence than you think you have. do you know that is one of the most valueble asset you have. you love yourself more than you realize.

Answer 6

Absolutely not.  You're not scum.  Sounds like life has handed you some (pardon my french) S****y cards.  You're coping with it the only way you know how (smoking pot).  But do NOT ever think that you are the scum of the earth!  Have you killed someone?  Raped someone?  Beaten someone to a bloody pulp?  Stolen?  There are much worse things you could have done.  If your family is discrased by you, then SHAME ON THEM!  You're doing the best you can.  They cannot expect any more.  It sounds like you're trying to get your life back on the right track.  Good for you!  You're a very strong woman.  You're only 20, you have many many years ahead of you.  Our younger years are for s******g up.  If we never made any mistakes, how would we learn?!

Answer 7

you have to find something.... your passion, once u find your passion,  keep working at it and you'll find motivation for everything else.  just think about something that u love to do

Answer 8

Hey sweet girl -

Make your move across the country a new start for yourself! I would definitely look at it as an opportunity to start over, make great new friends and be good at the job you'll be getting with your uncle. You can build a relationship with the family you're moving in with and just start building the foundation to have a solid footing. You said you're pretty and I already know you're nice (thanks for the email, it seriously made me tear up) so it won't be a problem at all making new friends. Working will give you the opportunity to meet great people.Staying away from pot is a great accomplishment, take it one day at a time since you're already on the right path with it!! I'm sure it'll be scary to move away from everything you know but a lot of people will NEVER get the opportunity to do such. You really do have a lot going for you, it sounds as though you have a wonderful and selfless personality. People will always respond positively to someone who is sweet.  

Answer 9

All I can say is when you are 60 years old and look back, 20 would hardly be an age to think that life is over for you. You've not done the right stuff for 20 years, thats perfectly alright. Do the right stuff for the next 40 years and there can't be anyone better than you.

Its always motivating to read about people who have done the wrong things and started life all over again, dont you think? You can be an inspiration to a whole lot of people who've done mistakes like you.

Cheer up, your're young and normal. Everyone makes mistakes. Realizing it is whats important - which you have... you are doing great!

Good luck!!

Answer 10

You are to young to have screwed your whole life up,

You have plenty of time to get your life back on track, if you want to.

Answer 11

It's just a guess but maybe you are suffering Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.

I feel the same as you do . . .

and one more thing, stick to the religious matters. stu8dy about other religions. I assume you are christian. maybe your religion doesn't satisfy you and does not answer why you are here.

My advice to you is go through with religions like Jew and Is Islam. maybe you could find your answers there...