Im 20yrs old and pregnant. how do i tell my mom?

Question

i recently learned that i may be pregnant and i have to tell my mother but i am nervous. my fiance (22 years old) and i both live with my mother but we dont sleep together in the same bed. (its a rule that she has that we wont disrespect her house by sleeping together under her roof) even though we have while she was at work. she wants us to wait until we get married and until i get my GED (i dropped out of school when i was younger for a few personal reasons). we dont have any friends so i cant tell her that i had s*x in someone elses house.

how do i tell her that im pregnant?

shes going to ask me where did i have s*x. what do i say?

i really dont want to tell her the truth!

my mom honestly believes that me and my fiance havent had s*x and she even assumes that i may be a virgin. i know she is going to be really upset. my fiance and i are getting married next summer and have been together for 6 years so far.

she knows that i will take very good care of my child because i raised my god daughter from day 1. i am great with children.. even she says so. i don't work but my fiance does. my fiance has a pretty decent job but i guess its not enough for us to get our own apartment just because rent in yonkers, ny is about 1200 for a one bedroom.

my question is..

how do i break the news to her? what should i say to make her feel better? how do i keep her from being mad at me?

my mom is the type that wont talk to me for weeks because of this even though we live under the same roof. PLEASE HELP ME!

IM NOT ABORTING MY BABY AND DONT SAY "YOU SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU HAD s*x!" BECAUSE ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW.

PLEASE NO STUPID ANSWERS!

thank you.

Answer 1

You need to be honest and upfront with your mother regarding your pregnancy. The main reason that you need to tell her now because its best to tell her yourself instead of having your mother find out the difficult way about your pregnancy. Besides, this will save you all of the heartache and drama that you have to put up with. Most importantly, you and your fiance need to come up with a plan on how to raise your baby, because the two of you will be ready when the baby arrives. Yes, this is a scary situation but hopefully, everything will turn out for the better. Good luck to you and I wish you the best!

Answer 2

Nobody as to know where did had s*x !

That's personal !

Just tell that it happen, that you and you boyfriend love each other so much !

I'm sure everyone will be happy !

They might be upset at first but then they'll get over it !

GOOD LUCK !

Answer 3

You are just going to have to tell her sooner or later..

Remember soon you will be showing and it's better if she finds out by you and not by anyone else..

And you're already an adult..

She will be happy !

good luck !

Answer 4

You'll just have to tell her. You have to take responsibility for your actions and nobody said it would be easy. Don't lie to her, you're an adult and you have to talk to her in a way that reminds her of that. Since she is so strict maybe apoligize for disrespecting her & tell her that although this is not what you planned, the situation is still real. I'm so glad you're not considering abortion. I'm sure you'll make a great mother. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well, I am sorry you have to go through this feeling stressed out.

It's time to tell your mom.  Don't freak out, be calm.  

Just tell her, point blank, that you are pregnant.  She will ask you every question that will make you feel uncomfortable but be truly honest.  There should be no lies and you will feel 100% better after the conversation.  Plan your thoughts by writing them down.  Stay calm and focused.

It sounds like you plan on keeping the child.  So before anything is said, make plans as to how you are going to raise the child.  Job? Money? What about your fiance... get your lives in order.

The only thing your mom may be wondering is if SHE will be the one raising this child.  I have faith that you and your fiance will make this child of yours a happy home!

Good Luck, my friend

Answer 6

Tell her that it's not her life...

But start looking around for an appartment or house.

Tell her you love her and that she raized you well.

Tell her you are ready for this. And she even tells you that you are good with kids.

You don't have to tell her that you had s*x in her house. (she doesn't need to know all the details).

Tell her you need her during this time.

good luck hunn. =]]

Answer 7

HI,

First, make sure that you are pregnant. If you are then tell her, simply, quietly and honestly.

You'll just have to tell her that you love her, apologize for breaking the house rules and ask her to forgive you for that but to be happy about the baby.

Promise her, and make sure you do, that you will continue with your education and get your GED.  That is probably her main concern.

She wants to know that you will be able to support yourself, and now that there is a child on the way your education is even more important.

She may be hurt or a bit disappointed in your decision to be sexually active, especially without sufficient protection, but I'm sure she'll be supportive.  

If she's angry or upset, allow her that without taking it too much to heart.  She will need to work through the concern she'll feel about your future.

Give her a big hug and tell her how much you love her and appreciate her support.

Good Luck

Answer 8

I would just explain that you two love each other and so you had s*x. If you don't want to tell her you did it in the house then just say you rented a motel or that you did it in the car or a park at night. You are 20 and need to stand up too her. I think most girls think their mothers will be super upset but you will never knoe until you try. I think she may be happy she will be a grandmother. Good luck and don't stress you will be okay. God bless.

Answer 9

I would be honest with your mom.  Lying or trying to cover up what you did will just make more problems in the future.  If it were me, I would tell my mom.  

I would say: "Mom, I need to talk to you honestly  about something important."  Tell her that you love her and that she is a good mom...thank her for everything. Then, just say "I am pregnant. I lost my virginity to (fiancee's name) and now I am pregnant. I am sorry, but it just happened..."  Tell her you still plan on getting your GED and marrying your fiancee. Tell her that you are sorry if this has disrespected her in anyway, but now...the most important thing is that you need support in this pregnancy.  

If your mom gets mad and doesn't speak to you, just apologize and tell her you love her....and then give her space.  She will come around.  She will eventually support you and the grandchild.  She might me shocked and hurt in the beginning, but she needs to know the truth.  I think that ultimately she will respect you for being truthful and honest.  If you lie, it will only make you look more childish and like less of an adult.   Good Luck!

Answer 10

Just be honest, she'll respect your more if you're open and honest.  The details of how or where you got pregnant is irrelevant you need to worry about your health and your baby.  I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 11

Jazz, well regardless of what you want the point is she is going to be disappointed and maybe even a little pissed at you at first.  Then we she realizes that she is going to be a grandma she will do everything in her power to help you make it through your pregnancy.  I am not going to suggest any ideas to lie to your mom as you state you respect and love her so this would be pretty low life thing to do.  Christ she knows your human so like the rest of us are going to make mistakes, and this might be one of the biggest so far in your life.  It might be best if you and your boyfriend approached her together to break the news.  That way the yelling and arguing will get over quickly and the tears will flow freely.  Mom loves and honours you as much as you do her.  You have disappointed her at this present moment but trust me she will become your biggest supporter soon.  Best of luck and have a good pregnancy and baby.

Answer 12

as a woman who had the same problem i can tell you know matter what

you say she will be a little upset even if she don't tell you.i had someone

close to the family go with me.one thing if she does get mad don't say anything she will deal with it in her own time. they get over it when they see that sweet baby looking up at them for the 1st time. just be easy on her.good luck i hope it works out for you

Answer 13

u should sit down with her and just talk to her about. she will help u threw this. u just have to try and relax and just tell her because she is goin to find out sooner or later. hope i helped or maybe u can try and tell some one that she is really close to. so they could sit down with u and help u talk  to her about ur situation.  

Answer 14

Ok, this may sound a bit stupid but I can't figure out why you don't work if you're not in school. It seems to me that if you're actually engaged to be married, both YOU and your boyfriend should've been working as many hours as possible, tryna save up for a place together- especially since you're living like kids having to sleep in separate rooms. I don't get that part at all.

Now, on to your actual problem. I don't think there's anything you can say to make her feel better about the situation unless you and your boyfriend go to the justice of the peace to get married, and I mean like tomorrow. If your mother is so old fashioned where she makes you sleep in two different rooms, she's not at all going to be comfortable with you being pregnant. I don't think it'll matter to her that you're engaged. You're not going to be able to keep her from being mad. She makes you guys sleep in separate rooms to prevent an unplanned preganancy, so you getting pregnant anyway, shows her that all she's done to try to prevent it was for naught.

Your best bet would be to find out for certain if you're pregnant, since you said that you might be. If you are, go to the justice of the peace to get married if you guys can't move out into a place of your own. I doubt that you'll be able to count on your mother for support. She's not going to be happy for you. She seems old fashioned like my grandmother was. My grandmother was the exact same way, so when my mother found out she was unexpectantly pregnant with my older sister, my grandmother d a m n near disowned her. There was no reasoning with her at all. My mother had to move out and do what she could for herself and her child. At least you have your man by your side, my mother didn't have that benefit.

I'm not tryna be negative. I just want to insert some realism. All parents don't find joy in being grandparents. Hoping she'll come around is good but what if she doesn't. What has to be done, has to be done for the sake of your soon-to-be family, which is you, your future husband, and unborn child. Your mother might actually change her tune and be overjoyed that you're pregnant. However, do you honestly think she would be? Right now, she's somewhat supporting you and your fiance. The idea of you having a baby, will probably make her think of nothing else but another mouth to feed. I hope everything works out but in case it doesn't, you and your fiance need to come up with a plan B. I'm sure you'll two make great parents. You seem like a cool folks so regardless of what mistakes you've made in the past, none of that matters in regards to taking care of your children. Part of being a parent is making a way out of no way, sometimes.