Im 22 bf is 19, just found out that i am pregnant - should i have the baby?

Question

i have no family, havent told his family. I want to keep the baby but i cant do it by myself..... evreyone tells me whatever i decide they will support me.

and btw. condom broke, used plan b and still am pregnant. 3 tests all positive.

Answer 1

well are you and him planning to stay together?

THere is always adoption if you cant handle it...

But your 22 you should be able to care for a child you made.

And since everyone will be on your side that will be good.....

Answer 2

Wow! it sure seems to me, that this baby was just meant to be. If you feel you want to be a mom then really, I think you can do it. You will need support yes, but don't sell your self short either. I had no one around me with my first other than hubby and we did ok. I am now on my third baby and thrilled about it! Now a few years later we have friends from playgrounds and playgroups in the community.

Good Luck! =)

Answer 3

It's really nice that "everyone"- I guess you mean friends- is supportive of your decision either way.

You say you want to keep the baby, and you sound sincere. This is a really difficult decision, but I think you've got to do what you want to do in this case-- or you'll really regret it. I'm 22, too, by the way, and by the time you reach this age I'm sure you know how important it is to go with your instincts and do what you want to do. If you want to have the baby but decide not to, you may deal with guilt and grief for the rest of your life. I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom here, but I have heard many times of women who are now older, even middle aged, regretting such decisions more than anything else.

I can't really tell where your boyfriend is in this picture, but it is a lot easier for women to raise babies "alone"- and with your network of friends I highly doubt you would be alone-  than it has been in years past. Remember that tomorrow takes care of itself (rather, in a non-procrastinating way, you will take care of tomorrow tomorrow, because it is impossible to deal with the future until it arrives). People do things like raise a child one step at a time.

I wish you nothing but the best! And congratulations!

Edit (addition)- just read about your mother and grandmother's ages at the time of death. I know this must have been, and must still be, incredibly difficult for you, losing those you care about at such a young age. But there is nothing that says you are going to die at 46 (unless there are incredibly strange circumstances... sorry, my attempt at humor), so you are cheating yourself and those around you if you take that into consideration when making such an important decision. This is the future, not the past.

Answer 4

Regardless of your ages, you should not have an abortion.  People have this misconception that you can lay down and have an abortion and never think about it again. That is not how it works. Abortion haunts you for the rest of your life.  Nightmares and the constant questions in your head of "what if".

Why choose death if you can choose life? You seem to have a decent support system but even if you were completely alone. God wouldn't forsake you.

Keep your baby.

Answer 5

That all depends on if you think you are financially and emotionally stable enough to raise a child in a good environment. If you are not mature enough yourself, you will not be able to properly care for a baby.

You sound like you have doubts about being able to do it by yourself, and though harsh, you have to consider the possibility of your boyfriend leaving you alone to deal with the baby. If you feel strong and able to deal with it, then go ahead. By the sound of things you don't think you can? Maybe if you are terrified you should wait til you are older and ready.

At the end of the day, the only one who can make this decision is you. Hope this helped, and good luck either way.

Answer 6

God never places anything on us that we cant handle.. You'll be okay,, I had my daughter at 18 and did it by myself

Answer 7

it really is up to you, i would have tried the plan b and if you are still pregnant, maybe God is trying to tell you something. ? how does the guy feel about it? be prepared to do it on your own if you have to. and really think about how much you like your boyfriend and if you see yourself tied to him (whether youre together or not) for the rest of your life. good luck, not an easy decision.

Answer 8

Hi, I am a 19-year old father.  I had my first child at 17 and am about to have another one in a month.  I married the girl, and we have been together for three years.  I have to say, it is HARD.  A lot of work, and your life really does become all about the baby.  But the baby is definitely worth it.  As you watch them grow, you realize the beauty of life, and become proud of your child.  All in all, it is worth it all the way to have a kid regardless of how hard it can be.  But it is your choice.  However, if you decide to not keep the baby, consider adoption over abortion.  The child deserves a chance.  

Answer 9

If he is a good boyfriend, he will be there for you and support you and the baby. If you decide not to keep the baby, at least give it a chance at life and don't get an abortion. There are so many loving people out there that would love to adopt a baby.

Answer 10

I think if you really are dedicated to raising this child than make it happen. Yes your young and its alot of hard hard work! but You might regret if you dont. Living without your own child because of a mistake is very hard to live with. I would find a church or family and children service and apply for benefits..WIC. free stuff for the baby. It cost alot to have one. Theres always a way.  

Answer 11

If you really want to keep the baby theres no reason you CANT do it by yourself. its not ideal, but its do-able. women do it alone all the time.

Answer 12

You both are of legal age and if he is supportive you then you won't be by yourself. It is your decision but it sounds to be that your baby has fought hard to make it this far.

Answer 13

Only you can answer this question. A child is a big responsibility, emotionally and financially. When you make you decision don't factor the baby's daddy into the picture, not to be rude but some don't stick around so be prepared incase that happens. Adoption is also an option.

I would suggest going to a clinic, some have councellors there to help you talk it through and make the right decision for you.

I'm a divorced single mom (35) my youngest is four.. and its tough. I work full time and support my family on my own. I struggled and landed a good job that provides well for us. It's possible to do, nothing motivates you like your children. But it is also a personal decision you have to make within yourself.

Answer 14

Hey, little sister.  In my way-longer-than-expected life, I have lived in many situations and have raised a child, had an abortion, and given a baby up for adoption.  I would say that in your situation, sweetie, adoption would be best if you can.  But depending on what state you live in, adoption can be a whole different experience.  California was good when it came to open adoption, which is what I wanted.  I chose the parents thru a family lawyer - they paid.  They went thru the whole pregnancy with me and paid all my bills, and also my rent during that time because I had been working in a factory with chemicals, so I had to stop.  I went to a trade school during that time which they also paid for.  By the time of the birth I felt really good about what I was doing.  It turned out to be a really difficult birth with an emergency cesarean and the parents couldn't be with me for that because we had not prepared, so if you do this, ask your OB to prepare you and whoever you want with you.  When the baby came out, he was fine, bright and alert.  I whispered my blessings into his ear, kissed his little nose, and sent him out to his family, but I DID NOT hold him because all during the pregnancy I worked very hard to think of myself as his nanny, and the other people as his parents; I did not want to make myself hurt too much when he was born.  This doesn't happen to everyone, but for me with my tendency to depression, I was trying to be careful.  Even so, I did fall into a deeper depression than I had imagined, so if you do this, please ask the parents to pay for some therapy for you afterward, just in case.  I had not planned on that, and had no support system, and it was hard.  Hard.  But I knew it was a pain I had to get used to and it was best for the baby, so I got another job and went right back to work in my new trade profession.  Work helped.  Also, being really honest with anyone who asked me about it was helpful.  As per my agreement with the baby's family, they sent me at least one picture and a letter about him each year until he was 18.  After that it was up to him if he wanted any contact and so far he has not, altho my other child whom I raised would love to know him.  This hurts me, of course, but I believe that adoption was the least hurtful for all concerned.  So, I advise it if it works in your circumstances.  I truly admire you for trying to look at your situation honestly, and I wish there was an easier answer, but if there is I don't know it.  If you want to know about my experiences as a single dirt-poor mom, or the abortion I had, let me know.  It's always different from person to person, but still we gain insite and perspective from each other when we share.  My e is [e-mail].  Peace.

Answer 15

That is a question only you can answer. However, I can say to you this.

Anyone can raise a child, but it take effort, commitment and determination to do it properly.

I was pregnant at the age of 19. And due to circumstances single. I am not going to tell you it was easy but I would not trade my child for the world.

There are lots of things you will miss by being a parent but there are lots of things you will gain.

You and only you can make the choice on whether you are ready or not, with or without the father.

Trust in yourself, your instinct and do what you think is right for yourself.

Answer 16

If you truly want a child and know that you can care for him/her financially and emotionally, you could go for it.  But I would suggest to talk to him and find out what he wants, and take time to figure out the cost and the time it will take on your part, to know if you feel fully ready to have a child or not...

Answer 17

I bet if you talked with him and his parents together.  explain to them you were being careful, but what had happened.  1 get appointment w/regular dr. 2 make sure u got a job&don't do drugs, 2 take parenting class, 3 keep intouch with his family and any friends, the more support you have the better 4 you and baby.  5 keep in mind too your choice....also there are many women out there that would love to be a mommy but can't.  if you were considering abortion, you could always give the gift of having someone else addopt the baby.....don't feel trapped because there is always a way out of everything, it's just about having all the right information to help!   good luck & congradulations luv,peace & happiness...squirrel5674...peace

Answer 18

well condom and plan b failed, so i say yes.  U can name it after me either way.  Good luck, we all need that and have a good life.

Answer 19

your body , do want you want, but please don't get married.

Answer 20

if you feel like hes going to support it? can he even support you right now? im not telling you to get rid of it, but you should really talk to him about what his plans are/were.

Answer 21

keep it or give it up for adaption DONT GET AN ABORTION!! but its your choice

Answer 22

you must be the most fertile girl ever!

Girl, looks like it's meant to be.  

Answer 23

i think you should have the baby either way...if you don't want to keep it there are lots of happy couples that cannot conceive that would love a baby...

you need to decide if you are ready...if he is ready...if your relationship is strong enough and if  he is the one you want to be with...you need to be able to do it on your own as well though because if something happens and your boyfriend leaves you with a 6 month old what are you going to do???

hope this helps you to make the right decision..