Im 4 months pregnant with twins by a married man what do i do?

Question

Well i've been dating and sleeping with this guy for 8 months and i was on on birth control.. but i ended up pregnant and i found out when i was already 3 months and two weeks i really i was upset but i was ok with it cause i really liked him and could find myself falling in love. So i had no problem telling him i was having twins i just knew he would be ok with it or some what ok.. but when i told him he flipped out and told me to get it fixed and i told him it was to late to do that im to far along and thats when he broke down and told me he was married i didnt believe him i thought he was just trying to hurt me.. but he was telling the truth. i asked him how could he be married we're with each other everyday every where.. well i felt real stupid to find out his wife was in the army and had deployed to iraq and had only been gone a month when we met.. I feel so stupid his married and his wife cant even have his first child cause he cheated and got me pregnant with twins what do i do?

Answer 1

Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into. I know it's too late now, but doesn't this really make the whole 'wait until you're married before you have s*x' arguement seem a little more sensible? I just don't understand having s*x with random guys you 'could find myself falling in love' with. His wife HAS to know ASAP. What she does is up to her. As for you, make sure you get a good attorney and make him support the babies. But that is not the man you want to be with. He is immature, a liar, and a cheating scum. If he will cheat with you, he will have no problem cheating on you. Good luck to you, you definitely have a hard road ahead of you.

Answer 2

What a jerk of a guy!!! Well first I would drop him like a hot potatoe then call a lawyer (a lot of lawyers offer a free consultation visit) to find out my rights as far as custody and child support. Then I would surround myself with a lot of supportive family and friends because you will need them through the pregnancy and after when the babies get here. If you are not sure you can raise the kids or not sure if you want them research adoption agencies since their are many good homes and families who can't have children and would be willing to offer yours a good home.

And of course, make an appt. asap with an OB/GYN to start getting prenatal care!

After this is over...it would be a good idea to get on the pill!

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well all you can do now is have the children and get him for child support.Its going to be hard for you but thats all you can do.Good luck.

Answer 4

you Make a deal with the guy have the babby's give them to him and his wife (do all legal stuff)

and they will have twins and u won't otherwise you could set up for child support OR adoption

Answer 5

People can say what they want to say, but I know 1st hand how grimey and scandelous some men can be. I dated my 2nd child's father for 8 months, and it wasnt until I got pregnant that I found out he had a girlfriend the entire time. Then she turned around and got pregnant 3 months after me and didn't want him to have anything to do with me or my child. Its all good though because God got a way that's mighty sweet, aint that good news! I put him on child support and told her she can be ignorant and not recognize him for the dog he is, but there is nothing neither of them can do with the state of VA when they come to collect! Lol He came by 2 weeks ago talkin bout his license is suspended because of child support. Oh well, you should have thought of that when you were running around playing with peoples emotions.

Right now its not for you to be concerned about his situation. He knew full out what he was getting hisself into. What's done in the dark always comes to the light! All you need to worry about is those beautiful babies. I know its hard, but God doesn't make mistakes, and he never puts more on you then you can bare. I would put his behind on child support and let him and his wife work all their issues out! Be encouraged darling, and God Bless!

Answer 6

What do you do?  You eat right and take your vitamins girl cause you need those twins to be healthy when they are born.  Time to drop this loser/user and get ready to be a fabulous single Mama.  

Its really not that bad, and its totally better than being with a dude who cheats and lies!

What a loser though.  :(  Feel sorry for his wife cause shes legally obligated to him.

Answer 7

really it is not your fault at all... you had no idea and he didnt tell you about it. I would do what you think is right to do... and you need to have him tell his wife before it gets to late and ur poping out twins with no support

and to the first person who posted...read better.. she said she was using birth control!she can't be a homewreaker she didn't now! why are ppl so rude

Answer 8

It's not what YOU do, it's what HE'S gonna do. It's completely up to him if he tells his wife or not, if he's going to be a part of your children's lives. I assume if he opts not to tell, she'll find out eventually when child support comes up and what not. But he needs to make the choices now.

Answer 9

:( I am so sorry that this happened to you. I think that you should definately dump this guy because if he is a cheater than you do NOT want him to be in your babies' lives. I know some people think that this man should be in your twins lives but he shouldn't. He hurt you and his wife. Imagine how he could hurt the twins' lives. He is NOT a good influence. Don't focus on a relationship right now. Focus on providing a great life for your babies. They are the most important thing in your life right now. God always has a plan and He will take care of you and your beautiful babies.

Answer 10

The question is what is HE going to do?

He has to support his kids!

Answer 11

Get ready to be a single mom because he's not going to tell her or leave her and you're just gonna end up even more hurt so get in the single mom mind set and if he does come around then good for you if not oh well that's just how the cookie crubbles sometimes.

Answer 12

you should've thought about that before you slept with someones man unprotected!

Answer 13

Hey I have a great idea!

Why dont you give him the children & you work & you pay the child support. after all, his wife is employed in iraq.

He must be the stay at home father.

It is your fault as the women, who was careless greedy & blinded by *love* that a child is born into this world via your womb via, your consent,  & even without both parents. I cant beleive women like you, it makes me furious.

It is the fault of both of you. I wish for your children to be able to lead happy lives, and not join a gang now.

Answer 14

No, you are not a  home wrecker when you had no idea he was married.  That is his fault, not yours.  You need to make him be financially responsible for his children, and hopefully once they are born he will want to be a part of their lives too.  The wife does need to know, but don't be surprised if she blames you and listens only to his side.  I wish you all the best and hope everything works out well for you and your children.

Answer 15

leave the guy and put the kids in a zoo they mite be alienated

Answer 16

get set up for child support. im sorry you were put in thsi situation. he needs to own up to the fact that he cheated on his wife. who was deplyed to the war.

pretty darn low.

but dont let that affect you. just worry about how you are going to raise YOUR children. it will be hard but there are alot of resources out there for single moms now.

get child support!!!!

Answer 17

If you honestly didn't know that he was married then I agree with JJ123.  It's not what you are going to do, it's what he is going to do.  He was the one that was lied.  I guess he didn't deem that information useful.   His wife will definitely find out sooner or later.  He is a low down dirty pig to do that to his wife when she is over there risking her life for this piece of slime to have the freedom to do such things as this.  What a piece of garbage.  Ditch this fool, get your child support and let him worry about the repercussions of his actions.

Answer 18

first this isnt your fault.  it seems he was really good at being an @ss. though you didnt know.. he could of told you.. but never would of.. and didnt.

you should start filing for child support.. once the children are born.. and let him deal with the situation he's put himself in! he wanted his cake so he could eat it too... now he can wipe it off his face!

Answer 19

TELL HIS WIFE

Answer 20

Wow, you should have been using birth control. Now you are considered a homewrecker...

If I were you, I would make him be responsable to the babies. And the wife should know asap....becuz if shes, might wanna drop him like its hot...I know I would for sure. I wouldnt want him after you cheated and knocked some lady up..