Im I been inconsiderate and not understanding with my deployed husband in Korea??

Question

My husband is deployed to Korea. We communicate by phone and computer and we also get to see each other when chatting online because we have cameras. I get to talk to him at least once a day. I work all day so the only time we get to really talk is either weekends or early in the morning before I go to work. I understand he needs to distract himself over there and he wont always be able to make it to talk to me before I go to work especially if he is working late. But there has been couple of occasions were Im waiting for him to come online in the morning or call me or I call him and his is not in his room. When he does call he apologizes and basically says he stopped at the recreation center the have to see what was going and lost track of time. By the time he call sometimes Im already at work and cant talk to him as much. I wake up a little xtra every morning just to be able to have that time to talk. And on weekends I wake up early to be able to talk to him. So feel like Im making efforts and he is too but not all the time. Im pregnant and dont know if that has anything to do with me been hurt when Im waiting for him and he is still out and about. Im I been inconsiderate with him? Do I need to be more understanding?

Answer 1

I totally get that you're feeling like you're putting in extra effort and you feel he is not.  It must be terribly hard for you to be pregnant, far away from your husband, and not feeling like you're quite as high on the ladder of priorities as you used to be.  But I think you may need to occasionally remind yourself that he is not exactly on vacation over there.  It could be that sometimes - just sometimes - he needs to break away from his "business as usual."  Still...I know it must hurt.  Try to gently remind him about what time you have to leave and that you miss him and really need to hear his voice in order to get you through each day.  Good luck!

Answer 2

iam sure your husband dosent mean to get back to you . if theres one thing a soldier needs its the love of there lover . he wouldnt blow you off for nothing . espically since your pregnat iam really sure he dosent mean it . just stick by him cause he needs you, he needs you to be the one special person to look foward to seeing when he comes back home .  

Answer 3

I don't think it's a question of being understanding or not...just maybe a little organization is what's in order.

What if you and your husband set three days a week where "no matter what," you both will connect at the same time.  That will ensure a definite amount of communication while still allowing both of you to not be beholden to a daily time deadline (or not).

It can be stressful for both of you to try and catch each other each day.  Making a plan like this will take the guesswork out, allow you to know for sure that you'll get to talk with him a minimum amount of times per week and will allow him to get caught up in a random poker game with the guys or an extended conversation without feeling guilty because he needs to rush back to the computer every day.

I thank both of you for your service to our country.  My brother-in-law was deployed to Korea for one year and he just got back a few weeks ago.  It was very tough on his immediate family (wife, 4 daughters) but we all stuck together and made it through.

God bless!

Answer 4

This is very understandable different time zones. Your pregnant and he is is halfway around the world. He is deployed though he just cannot always talk to you its part of our service to this great country. I'm sorry that you feel this way just hang in there he will be back at his 6 month and your will have a whole month to see him. Best wishes.