Im a little confused...please help!?

Question

My partner and i was discussing the birth of our baby which is yet to be born, and si stumbled across the question ' Its just us in the labour room isn't it?' To my amazement she want her mum to be there as well!! I thought it was weird...with it being our child after all. She explained that her mum offers a different kind of support to me which i understand but am i just being weird thinking that it should be me and my partner in the room sharing the amazing occasion? and nobody else? Iv tried explaining how i feel about it but i just want my partner to be happy as i know it will be a difficult time for her. What else can i do?

Answer 1

I'm not sure what your plan is but when I had my son there was a "labour room" and a "delivery room".  Labour can take a very long time and we were only allowed one person in the room at a time.  My husband actually liked my mom being there to sit with me while he stretched his legs, had a coffee or went to the bathroom.  He said that the hardest part for him was seeing me suffering and not being able to do anything.  

Birth is a beautiful process but it ain't pretty.  If she needs her mom in the labour room don't be upset.  Compromise, mom can stop into the labour room every once in awhile to see how things are going and give some encouragement but when it's time to leave for the delivery room it's just mom and dad.

Congrats and good luck.

Answer 2

I think you should try to let him know how you feel about this whole situation. Im pretty sure he'll understand you as well as you understand him. Talk to him about how you want to share this wonderful experience with him.

Answer 3

She may want to share this special moment with her mom as well. i'm sure her mother would want to see her first grandchild. and in some family's it's kinda of a tradition for the grandmother to be there. It's a time for her to witness a new generation coming into the world. And plus, sometimes it just feels better to have someone there who has had the same experience before there to talk you through it. I know I want my mother to be in the room as well. It's my way of giving her a gift for all the things she's done for me in my life.

  ~Ashley

8 months and 2 weeks pregnant  

Answer 4

I had my Mom there during the birth of my first child.  You're partner's right in that Moms offer a different kind of support, especially since they've been through child birth before.  With the birth of my second, my Mom was there, but in the waiting room with my son.  It really isn't weird or strange that she wants her Mom there, so don't hold that against her.  However, if you're not comfortable with it, perhaps you can talk her into having her Mom there in the room up until the labor gets really intense and then have her Mom go to the waiting room until after the birth occurs.  Labor can last for hours and hours and hours, so you may end up appreciating her Mom being there for a part of it -- she could help keep your partner distracted from the pain, etc.    That way too Mom can share some of the joy in seeing the child soon after birth.

Keep in mind -- many women have LOTS of people in the birthing room, Moms, Dads, siblings, friends, and even cameras!

Answer 5

It's ultimately her decision since she will be doing the birthing.

But at the same time, she should consider what you want also.

I never wanted anyone but my husband in the room when I was actually pushing out my kids. Family came in before that and after, but not during.

Answer 6

My partner wanted my mother to be there for the birth of our first. It was a good thing, too. When it turned out I needed an emergency C-section, my partner got freaked out. He couldn't go in the operating room because he didn't want to watch them cut me open in an unplanned traumatic way. My mother asked to go in instead. My partner waited anxiously outside the O.R., and my mother was able to keep me calm. Both of them got to hold the baby before I did.. but I wouldn't change that if I could. Together, they got me through a very tough time.

You do what is best for your family.. but I just wanted you to have another perspective on this. Regardless of who is there, the things you will look back and remember the most are holding your child for the first time, and how proud you are of your partner. Good luck!

Answer 7

I know you probably want this to be a special time for you and your partner to share together. I only wanted it to be my boyfriend and I in the delivery room as well.

But because she is the one enduring labor, she is going to need the support she wants. So you need to respect her wishes, because she needs to be as comfortable as possible during labor. Just let her know that in your head, you wanted to share this special moment just the two of you, but tell her you understand that she needs all the support she can get and that you will be there for her with whatever decision she makes.