Im a single mom of 3 how do i get my kids to respect me?

Question

my kids are 13 -11 and 4 im so tired im always yelling ive tried everything i can think of i try to do things with them and they just fight or they tell me that they wish that we can be rich so we can do other things i work my *** off i have 2 jobs and some little jobs on the side cleaning houses i just make enough to get them food and clothes and pay some of my bills we live with my mom since my dad passed away and i divorced i try to do what i can and they just dont appreciate it i make monthly payments so my daughter can be in band i pay for her cheerleading things that she needs and she doesnt want to help around the house sometine they are so wonderful and they help but most of the time they are lazy like theyre alcohlic dad it makes me mad i ve had it i want to run away ive tried talking to them but it seem like it goes in one ear and out another

Answer 1

Depending how old the kids are my advice would be to , Try have a sit down chat with them ..

Explain how hard it can be eye contact with them , And allso explain exactly all the things that you do that they take for granted and hopefully it will insight them a little better .

Keep to firm commands and try never back down from your word (I know easier said than done its hard i know) .

If all else fails stop doing things and see how long it takes them to realise how Valuble and needed you are , Things like Cleaning up after them .. Making drinks when asked .. Trips and lifts out when they need it .. Pocket money .. Shopping trips ... Cooking there favourite meal .

All theese things they will miss very quickly and should help them understand . Hope this helps , x

Answer 2

It is too hard to give advice when kids are involved, but remember every time you get up in the morning give thanks to GOD for waking up and ask for his strength I do this everyday and it helps with my patience and my childern have made a big change in thier attiude with me they always see me praying before and after bed and when they try my patience. TRY IT  and you br the judge.

Answer 3

Consistency.  That is the biggest key.  If they are not allowed to do xxxxx, then they need to be disciplined for it every single time, even if it inconviences you.  When you give a punishment, you have to stick to it.  If you 'ground' your child for a week, they really have to be grounded for a week, rather than giving in 2 days later.

Consistency.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry.  Single parenthood can be really hard.  Honestly you need to be consistant.  If you're doing all this for your kids, they can help you out.  If your daughter wants you to pay for her cheerleading, she can work it off by doing things for you around the house, etc...

Don't let them walk all over you.  You're the mother, and what you say goes.  The things they do have are a privledge.  If they don't respect that, then they shouldn't have it.  If all they're going to do is sit around and watch tv or get on the computer all day, take it away from them.  They'll appreciate it when they realize what it's like to not have it.

Answer 5

Consitently Discipline them! The thirteen and eleven year old need to be grounded in their room for a while. The four year old is still young enough to get a spanking when he/she misbehaves. They have to have boundaries. You have got to be consistent

Answer 6

start while their young

Answer 7

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND DONT LET THEM WALK ALL OVER YOU.

Answer 8

Hi Confused..:-((

     I feel so bad for you, single and having to care for 3-kids..

It must be so hard on you..     Here's a HUGE HUG for you honey..:-))   Your a very special person, and I mean SPECIAL.

To do this day-in and day-out, WOW.

By showing them the right way things are done, by not loosing your temper, by loving them more and more everyday and not letting things get to you..    By taking time out for yourself and allowing your body to relaxe..

       You can still put your foot down, lay-down the law..This is good advise but if your not with-it as a parent all the advice in the world isn't any good to you..   I know your kids are the world to you but so are YOU, ok?    You need them like they need you but if your not yourself they can't be themselves with out you..   Take some time every now and again, you must have someone to talk to who can take them for a few hours a week..

      This is what you need, alone-time..     To think, "what to do"??..    But you also reflect on what you have too, your health, family and friends..   Don't loose your faith,  I know it's hard, I understand..Truely I do!!  Go for a walk, not long unless you wish..   This helps allot, plus is excersize..    Your mind and body need time too, they work over-time more than you realize..    

         I am always just a e-mail away, if you feel the need to talk, feel free, ok??    I will not argue, lie or torment you in any way...   I've been through allot in the past few years plus had a very special person pass-on a while back..    She always said to listen not to be heard but to understand, look not to see but to be inspired, feel not only touch but to hold on too..

My grandma passed on in 2005, she was the greatest being of inspiration, knowledge and wisdom..ever..

      I've learned there's allot more to life than what is tangible.

Our senses say allot about who we are, they project our feelings through our eyes and emotions all day, everyday all year long..     If we ourselves get out of control we've lost our grip,  you don't need to go through life thinking you need to do everything yourself, sometimes a helping hand stabilizes the pot long enough to finish what you started in the first place..

        Think about this, you might want to re-read this again..

Your not alone..    How did you respect your folks??

You didn't love them right off, it took time, still does..

Being a kid now-a-days is like being a parent...:-))))))

Good Luck, I'm here for you if you need me, ok??

Answer 9

Make rules and enforce them

Answer 10

you take charge  if the daughter wants extras she can get a little job and earn the money for them  don't be such a martyr  she sees you working your butt off for the bare essentials so let her pitch in and help with her wants  dont badmouth the dad though to them  you picked him and it is their dad