Im adopted but I dont know what I am?

Question

Hey there I am an adopted child I have such a nice family though who I think of as my own blood it doesnt matter if you're blood or not blood anyway just as long as you have a family. I was adopted at 3 months old my biological mother used to sleep around (not a prostitute) and she took drugs and everything and came from a bad family who my non biological mother knew. She used to leave me on my own in the house crying and starving and she had a boyfriend who wanted to take me to america and shave my hair off! But he wasnt my father, I am 14 years old now and I just want to know who my father is because she doesnt know apparently I have never met or seen my mother and I want to know what she looks like I know she is jamaican but I'm either mixraced or quater cast. I have hazel eyes dark hazel eyes and my hair is afro hair and my skin colour is caramel quite light but I have a friend who is mixraced and she has dark hazel eyes aswell and same skin colour as mine and I also know there ..

Answer 1

I would  talk to your parents about it..maybe they could contact the adoption agency that they adopted you from.

Answer 2

suonds like it you dad may not even know you excist

Answer 3

There is a website somewhere that will help you map your ancestry to different parts of the world. I saw it on TV. They send you a swab which you wipe on the inside of your mouth (thus putting your DNA on it), you put it in a sealed container and send it back to them, and then within time they send you some documents...one of which is a map which shows which parts of the world your DNA came from. It's not %100 accurate but it is close, I believe.

EDIT:

http://dna.ancestry.com/welcome.aspx

Check it out!!

Answer 4

wow....i feel so related to you!

i was adopted when i was 3 months old too.

my biological mom died when i was born, and now i have the greatest mom ever.

so, in your case:

in due to meet your dad you need the permission from your adoptive parents and i think that could be devastating for them because they will think that they didnt give you love enough or something else.

I think that your father didnt care much about you since you are saying how bad he was, i think it worthless to break your adoptive parents hearts like that, just to meet someone that seems to care less about you.

i know how you feel, i feel like that most of the time....wanting to know who you really are and where u come from.

so, if u really wanna meet your dad you need to wait until you turn 18 to talk to your parents and ask for their signatures in due to open your adoption file.

good luck.

Answer 5

ummm....

my ex-bf is full black and he has hazel eyes and carmel skin...

and if you were mixed i doubt your hair would still be like that....

but you should want to know your father for more than wanting to know your race.... you should want to know what kind of illnesses and diseases run in your family...... but since you're a kid you probably don't care if cancer or heart problems run on your family genes.......

and I'm mixed with creole and my hair is long and curly (not nappy/afro like) and creole is a mixture of everything so i highly doubt you're mixed

Answer 6

It sounds to me like you're hung up on something that is really of little importance. I too was adopted at the age of 3 months and know less about my biological parents than you do.

   I am much older than you and realized over time that the people that raise you are your parents. While i understand your curiosity, the flip side of that coin is that you spend alot of time and energy having a "lost" feeling or having the feeling that you don't belong in any particular group.

     One day you will have to decide that you are you and the rest doesn't matter. You will have to come to that realization in order to be happy with yourself, comfortable in your skin.

     The bottom line is that you are, like everyone else that walks this world, a couple of dollars' worth of chemicals and a lot of water. What you choose to make of that is up to you.

    I lost years of my life being unhappy because I was confused about my backround. I know today that where I came from is much less important than where I'm going. This is knowledge that i'm passing on to you so that you can focus on what's important in your life.

Answer 7

Are you hearing this information from your parents?  You really need to contact the agency.  If you are fourteen, they probably won't give you any information.  Depending upon the state, its either 18 or 21 where you get non identifying information. Until you actually speak with your natural mother, don't believe everything.

Answer 8

I respect you in so many ways. I am glad your living a good life. you can ask your parents which agency you came from and they might have information. but you may not be able to attain it until your 18.

you can talk to a physician and they can observe your structure, and quite possibly be able to subjectively tell your roots by anatomy and physical appearance.

Answer 9

i think you are part african-american and part jamaican and there is probably a lot more from europe. i wish you luck!!! keep on ROCKIN =]

Answer 10

Hey,

well you can indeed have hazel eyes and hair varying from straight and soft to wavy to afro as a person of mixed heritage. In your case it sounds like your 'grandma' was already very light skinned and looks a lot like you. Any additional 'mixing' after that can result in even lighter skin and or great variations in hair texture and facial features.

Now in my humble opinion it does not matter one way or the other how/why/how much /what race you are mixed with as you are your very own person that through a very lucky break in life got to life a life in a nice family that you 'think of as your own' instead of watching your "mom" (using that term very lightly) do drugs and cohabitating with questionable male companions. In reality , and i am sorry, it is very unlikely that your "real dad" (again using that term lightly) is aware of your exsitance and it would be very doubtful that he would have any active part in your daily life.

That is not to reflect on your value as a person in any way, it should just remind you how much more forfilled your life is living with people that make responsible choices for themselves and you, who love you and care for you, and that is indeed what makes a "dad" or a "mom". It is a badge of honor you earn after many years of "having your back" and caring for you.

So maybe just enjoy your appearant mixed beauty, stand proud and enjoy the safety and caring of your "Family". Maybe when you are 21 it would be a much better time to try to find out any more answers as you can then do much of the searching yourself and are of age to sign applicable papers and release forms.

In the meantime relax, enjoy your family and know that there is no bigger love than that of a parent for a child, but you do not become a "parent" by giving birth, parenting is  a long hard process in which you do not always make "friends" with your "kids" (biological or otherwise) but there is also no greater reward and i am sure your adoptive parents at this point are a much better choice for parental guidance than a biological mother you havent seen or a biological father that has never been present.

Sometimes NOT KNOWING is a really really good choice especially at your particular age.

All the best with your quest!

Answer 11

have your parents call the adoption agency. they will tell you everything they can. and maybe girl you the number of your biological mother if you wanna meet her. also ask your parents too. they may know more then you think.

Answer 12

so sorry

Answer 13

Don't be sorry. Keep asking the questions to your family. They need to help you with this journey. Good luck.