Im afraid to love? help?

Question

I broke up with my bf seven months ago and we got back together yesterday after talking in the phone to fix our faults one month ago. He says he loves me intensively (and I do believe it), and I do love him too, but the problem is that Im afraid to love too much and fall really hard and later on something goes wrong and I will go crazy. I just dont want to love person so much that I will become sick if I cant have that person anymore (because things do happen), so my question is, how can I love a person, but not love them too much?

this question problably sounds stupid, but I see people asking how

can someone love them back, but its also hurtful and risky to love too much. isnt it?

Answer 1

People who are too careful never experience the best.

Dare to love, and if you do, only then you'll appreciate the beauty of it.  If you're even too afraid to try, you're missing out more than you think you are.

Answer 2

If you can't love without question then you are not loving.  You gave yourself to this person once and love has given you a second chance.  If the reasons you broke up to begin with are forgivable then allow yourself a second chance to make the best at love again.  Otherwise move on and don't look back.

Answer 3

simple you are not ready to love, and it will happen with time =)

Answer 4

I fully understand what you mean because I have felt that way. But I fight it and go with the flow of the relationship. It's like being scared and doing it anyways!

That's just the risk of falling in love. Either you take the plunge or you hold back and maybe miss out on some wonderful experiences because you're scared.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

You can either go through life afraid to love, and you will lose the person any way. Because the person will get tired of you not being there fully. Believe me, my spouse is like you, and I can't take it. I'm so tired of someone who is always pushing me away.

OR you can decide to go for it. And perhaps, things will work out for you both. But you'll never find that out if you love only part way. Think of it like swimming. You can't really swim if you just put your toes in.  

Answer 6

It is not a stupid question, but there was a reason why you two broke up in the first place, and I would never go back to that same person that I broke up with, I do not re-live the past, I look forward to the future.

But if you really believe in your heart, soul and mind that this will really work, then you just have to go for it, and not be afraid, and ride the wave!!!!!

If you really believe that it is going to work this time, then let your heart, mind and soul guide you.

And do not think too much of what "might" happen, just think about what will happen in your relationship now.

Answer 7

Something in your upbringing taught you that to love too much is unhealthy and that you should always "stand back" to avoid being hurt.

You are absolutely correct in that no one should feel as though they can't exist/survive if a breakup occurs.  It is important to be able to freely love someone but also be able to breathe if they are not around.  Missing someone is not the same as collasping on the ground and not being able to survive.

Sometimes people are afraid of getting close for fear of being hurt.  But remember that none of us can see into the future and to avoid loving just for the sake of avoiding the possibility of being hurt is not the right path.

Before you can openly love anyone, you first have to love and respect yourself.  Are you at that point yet?  Or is there something about your own personality and character that you dislike?  Only you know the answer.

Of course it would hurt deeply if you lost someone you loved; but sadly that is a part of life and there aren't too many people who don't have to deal with a major lose.  But that doesn't stop them for loving someone and experiencing the joy that loving someone and sharing a life with them brings.

No, it's not hurtful and risky to love; but when you write "too much" I have to ask you what that means to you.

Being overly obsessed with someone to the point of having to know their every thought and where they are every minute of the day is being overly obsessive, possessive and extremely paranoid on your part.  Love is not a prision, it should be a time of enjoying each other, caring for each other, supporting each other . . through the good times and the bad times.

The feeling of love varies thoughout the day.  No one loves to the same degree 24/7; but that doesn't mean that the relationship is over if the feeling is less than it was an hour ago.  What it means is that you are there for each other even when the plumbing breaks, or the car breaks down, or the money is tight, or the kids are sick and driving you both nuts.  Love is not a fantasyland where you are flying high every minute of the day.  Love is not based on whether or not he sends you flowers all the time; or whether or not he falls at your feet 24/7.

Love is when you can still be there for each other when you look your worst, are sick or whatever.

Love is a learned thing between two people, and it takes a long time to develop into a mature and long-lasting involvement.  It doesn't happen overnight, and it's NOT based on how you look or how good you are in the sack.  Remember that Love and Lust are two completely different topics.

Answer 8

I think instead of thinking about what ifs, think about how you want to spend your time on this planet? as in stop wasting time on stupid things. sure sometimes things happen but they happen so you can gain something from it.