Im at extreme disadvantages in life , what am i gonna do ?

Question

present situation :

i live in a one bedroom flat in the north of england , on disability benefits, i own nothing except an old computer - got no carpets on my floor, a shabby bed etc. i suffer with borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress - im waiting to hear if i will get group therapy ; my main problems are severe low self worth , rage and aggression and aggraphobia and anxiety, i have social problems forming friendships or relationships with people.

about my history :

ive had a severe hard life, suffered severe abuse, bullying , victimisation, bad times , assaults , head injuries , homelessness , time in a psychiatric hospital , over a time span 0f 16 years , since the age of 16.

ive missed out on most things in life people take for granted : forming any relationships with anyone . never been employed , spent all my life on disability , never got an education , never got any qualifications.

have a minor criminal record for an assault and carrying a knife when i lived in a rough neiborhood, and i was being targeted by local thugs.

obviously have a psychiatric record to.

i used to have outbursts of rage years ago in public places, where id lose control and lash out at people, not something i planned but i would get a build up of paranoia and pressure in my head whilst outside then explode.

but i dont do that anymore , ive managed my rage for years without therapy.

i also unfortunatly havent had consistant therapy over the years, the system failed me so i havent had the help i needed.

what i want for my future :

im now 30 and would like to achieve a normal happy life, to have friends that i choose, a good paying job in computers , a secure life and most importantly ; i want to emigrate from the united kingdom to somewhere hot , somewhere quiet and coastal by the sea, to find a loving senorita or a loving, partner to share my life with.

thats it.

most people when i talk about these desired ambitions put them down, or tell me their beyond my reach and patronisingly say '' i have to be realistic '' '' everybody wants those things but not everybody gets them ''

that ill find it '' impossible '' in my situation at my disadvantages.

its mainly brits who keep on telling me that - other people from elsewhere usually have a more optimistic view towards me.

its like theres a conspiracy where the brits are trying to keep me here against my will ( paranoia keeps creeping in )

all i know is i desperatly want to achieve those goals and leave the uk.

do i have any chance ?

im not trying to be funny but i would like serious answers please as im really depressed over this right now.

my situation in every sense including geographically , is not where i want to be.

i feel really depressed because i worry ill be trapped here FOREVER or it will take to long to be able to work to get out of the situation

Answer 1

You know what? good on you for wanting more out of life, no reason you can't have it.  What you you are describing is a long journey, but you can succeed.  

First step is to let go of your past.  I personally would make every effort to never speak or write about those things again, that person has gone, don't identify with him and don' talk about him.  Identify with who you are becoming.  I think these are the question you should be asking.

"how do I develop character?"

"how do I build confidence and self esteem?"

"How can I get the education I need?"

"how can I give more to society and become a productive and valued member?"

"what is my next step?"

"How can I become the man that the type of woman I want will love?"

You see it's a complete change of focus.  The only thing your past gives you is an excuse, an will get you nothing.  it's about starting again today and moving forward.

I have a website that deals with this, It might be useful.

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com

good luck

Answer 2

firstly, you said you spent time in a psychiatric hospital, over a time span of 16 years , since the age of 16. that would make you at least 32 if my maths is any good.but you claim to be only 30 years old.

secondly, if you want to move away you need to buck your ideas up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop relying on our tax money to keep you living for free and get a job, any job will do, and save your money.

Answer 3

Hello

Forget it

To go to other countries these days you have to have money, a qualification and experience in a job for which they are recruiting. a sponsor to bail you out if things go wrong. Most Eastern countries would lock you up and forget about you with your mental record.

They all come here because we supply them with housing, accommodation, unemployment  or incapacity benefit, medical treatment free on NHS.

In some ways I am like you, Single bedroom flat, Incapacity benefit, I go out 3 times a week to go swimming and shower as I don't have a bath, My brother pops In every other week end for an hour to say hello. I see the rest of my family once a year at christmas.

Andy C

Answer 4

well: it is known as " Psychology a very important Answers

Social Science  study with Sociology and the reason would

help you to be strong also Become Brave yes of course another

term Courage learn about Social Skills teaches (Common Unity)

can belong together Answers Community best Knowledge

also Helps Community Service  today "

Answer 5

Loser.... My taxes pay for slobs like you!

Answer 6

please do not feel sorry for yourself it brings you down alot trust me be happy in life at whatever it is you will never be younger again, firstly i think you should find a good job or maybe consider going back to college redoing your gcse or alevels if you want to get a really good stage secondly after you work for maybe i dont know 1 or 2 years time if you save enough money you will be able to move abroad and buy a better house and hopefully a nice women my childhood was somewhat similar to yours but know im happy more than anything else so just keep your head up, get a job, save up go to your destination out of were you reside and find a girl i hope all the best!