Im confused could anyone give me advice on this ? ?

Question

iv always dreamed about joining the Marine corps but now i hav a gf who i love alot and shes basicly said that if i join that we will be over

idk what to do i realy wanna join but i dont wanna lose her shes part of why i want to join in the first place

could i get some advice from other people who have been in this situation?

Answer 1

If she is giving ultimatums now wait until your married, sounds like she wants it her way and no other way. You need to decide whether or not she would stand with you no matter what happens. Good Luck it is your life think hard and make sure you will be happy / proud with yourself later in life.

Vet-USAF

Answer 2

if you hesitate before you join don't do it. When you join the Marines do it in a heart beat with no regrets after wards. in your situation you will have regrets.

Answer 3

If she TRULY loved you, she would be more than willing to support you in your dreams and follow you anywhere.

It is SUCH an honor to have a loved on in the Military. You deserve someone who will follow your dreams with you.  

Answer 4

Here's some advice. Go to the store and buy two cheap note books and two pencils. Give her one pencil and one notebook. You keep the other set. Each of you go to your separate residences and write your answers to the following two questions, then exchange the note books and read what the other wrote:

1. Why do I want to go on living?

2. Why do I want to go on living with you?

Be honest in the answers. I'll bet dollars to donuts you will find your answer there, join the Marines, go to the base chapel the first chance you have and light a candle to thank God you dodged that bullet.

Those two questions get to the heart of a relationship and leave all the other stuff aside as so much baloney. They are the truth and I'm betting she can't handle the truth.  

Answer 5

I believe she's worried that you may never come back to her or you may find someone else instead while you are out there which is why she says that.  But talk to her and tell her sincerely how you feel and that in the long run it will benefit the both of you later because you will have that experience under your belt, maybe she will understand and tell you the truth how she feels.

Answer 6

If you obey her now what is stopping her from ordering you not to go out with your friends anymore?  Or is she doing that already?  If she loves you then she will be with you regardless of if you join.  If she bosses you around now as your girlfriend then it will only get worse after you and her get married.  You need to have a LONG talk with her.

Answer 7

My boyfriend just left today for Infantry Training for the Army. We have been together almost a year. I was super upset when I found out he was joining. Cause I can't go with him! If you join, you will be making your life so much better. You'll have money, education, housing, get to travel and be on your own. For us girlfriend's, its hard to deal with. My bf will be gone for 14 weeks for training! We will only get to write letters to each other, and he has to earn time to talk on the phone. So not being able to talk to him or see him is going to be so hard. But he will be coming back home! Your girlfriend has to remember that. You will come back. Now, my boyfriend isn't ready to get married yet, he'll only be turing 21 this year. So when he gets done with Basic, and comes home, he'll then be stationed somewhere, I can't go unless we are married. But that's okay too. Depending where he goes, he told me he would drive or fly home every weekend to see me if he has too. So the bottom line, you have to do what is right for you first, and if you and your girlfriend really love each other, you make it work somehow. And I know it will be super hard. I couldn't even tell you how many times I have cried today and it's only day one of him being gone. But it will make you both stronger and see how much you really do want each other. While my baby is gone, I'm going to school and trying to pay off debt and get myself into shape ,ect. So it can be great for the both of you. Sorry to write so much! haha. Good luck

Answer 8

Dude no offence but you picked a crappy gf, dump her and join. You'll be traveling the world you'll meet plenty of women. Dont lie to yourself and say she's the only one for me. She's aleady trying to control you, dump her.

Answer 9

ask yourself this.. in six months will you still be together if you don't enlist?  and in ten years will you resent her for not 'letting' you enlsit?

she has the right to tell you that its a deal breaker for her if you enlist.  YOU have the right to decide for YOURSELF whether or not you can live with never enlisting just to be with some girl who in ten years you may not be with any more.  

Answer 10

I can't speak for your situation. I can say that I love my husband. I would never ask him to not be a soldier just to please me. I love him for who he is soldier or not. The qualities it takes to be a soldier are part of the reason I Love him so. If one person loves another they accept them for who they are whole hearted. Marine, Army, Navy, CG Air force or civilian. Maybe you two are not as perfect fro each other as you may have thought. Would you ask her to change who she is or what she wants to do with her life?  

Answer 11

The right woman doesn't demand that you not follow your dreams, and if she's the right woman you won't do that to her.  I've been with my wife now for 5 years and been in the Army for all 5 of those.  She has never asked me not to continue in the career that I love, and she loves the fact that the Army is like a large family where not only do the Soldiers look after each other, but also the spouses look after one another and help to take care of the Soldiers.

Very frankly, your girlfriend seems very self-centered.  And has basically given you 2 choices.  Follow your dream to be a Marine and leave her or give up on what you've wanted to do for the rest of your life.

You have to figure this out for yourself.  I would just ask if she is worth giving up your dreams over and if she is the right woman why would she ask you to give up on something that you've always wanted to do.  Good luck to you with your decision

Answer 12

If you start "obeying" now, it will never stop. If you were a Marine, you would not have to ask the question. Get some backbone.

Answer 13

First off what they say is true, if she really loved you, she would support it, she does not have to like it per se, but to support you at least! I made that mistake before thinking me and my gf would be together forever so I didn't join the army till I decided to get back into it recently, but we broke up and everything was lost. So I suggest if you aren't married follow your dreams. A significant other is supposed to be a part of your life, not your life. So you got some thinking to do, good luck!