Im confused...my mom is cheating on my step dad...?

Question

This is a long story, a few hours ago i was using my moms phone and then this voice mail popped up so my nosy *** heard it. this is what the man said (well not EXACTLY but about): "hey alba this is peter, i had my phone disconnected for a while and decided to get another, here is my new number #######, so then he's like maybe we can get a hotel like we used to and have s*x again". i deleted the message and obviously started to cry. then soon went onto my moms room (my step dad was @ work) i told her that i knew what she was doing and quickly went to my room. i told my 12 yr old sister because i needed someone to hug and we both cried, my mom then came in the room and gave us a 2 hour lecture saying that she didn't do anything with anyone. i kinda believe her she had said that her friends are very immature and that's true ive meet them. lol. she said that hes stupid and all these things. her and my step dad have relationship problems, they fight EVERYDAY but am very close to him and don't want to loose him. he's the only one who i can relate/connect/talk to. he takes me and my sister to concerts buys me and her stuff gives me more than any of my parents. AND HES MY STEPDAD. i say this because i never see my dad anymore, once every month or so...and my mom is just mean, you can never talk to her, she gets on me for any little thing. seriously. am i the only one thats ****** up?

advice plz! should i belive my mom? should i tell my stepdad?

****, i hate life. wait did i say "i hate life"? life can be good. let me rephrase that, i hate "my" life.

Answer 1

Its happened to me, and i know its hard to hear, but even if your mum is mean - you should believe her. Your mum has your best interests at heart, and wont lie to you if she doesnt want to hurt you. It may be difficult for you for a while because you heard that message, even if it was a joke, just try to relax and if your that worried, look out for the little things your mum does, dont go to your step unless your 100% sure it happened, because it could afftect the relationship between you and your step dad.

Hope ive helped.

Answer 2

whatever you do if you love your stepdad dont do it... ive been through that alot and the best thing to do is black male your mom saying something like im going to tell *yourstep dad* if you dont whatever you want.. but dont make it into a big scene because then h**l eventually find out and thats the end.. but you shouldnt of told your 12 year old sister because now shes got to think your moms a s**t for the rest of her life and since shes so small shell always remember it and its hard. but if your mom lectured you on it saying it was her friend i would believe it unless shes just making up some lame excuse because she likes being with someone. but either way h**l find out and shell have explaining to do..

Answer 3

Hi,

I would suggest that you keep away from ur mom's personal life. You say that she and ur step dad do hv relationship problem. See it from her point of view. Sure she needs someone to talk to make herself feel comfortable. May be that guy is a good frnd of her. Or what ever it is between them, it is non of ur business. No point in telling that to ur step dad. That will only make them break and where you & ur sis r going to be then? All you can do is, tell you mom "pls dont do anything that breaks the marriage and you both really like the caring step dad" sure ur mom understand your feelings. She will sure do what you want. But it is upto her abt her personal life.

You said, u wanted to talk to someone and that is why u told ur sis and cried. Dont u think ur mom needs someone to talk to like that? Let her talk to someone she feels comfortable. Forget abt what u got to know. Be happy with what u do and what u get.

Msg me in YM if u wish

my id is frndly20052010

Answer 4

I suggest you do not intervene unless you are aware of the whole story. There could be much more to it than what seems from outside. Let them deal with it until then just wait and see.

Answer 5

I have been in your position before only my mum was cheating on my step dad with my biological dad, they had only been divorced 6 months and they were sleeping together again, even though my mum didn't want my dad. I did tell my step dad that my mum was slepping with my dad, and my dad confirmed this to my step dad, onl;y it didnt help, my mum denied it, my step dad believed her and i, along with my dad were then classed as liers. I had no evidence.

I would have advised you to speak to your mum and tell her to come clean with your step dad, IF you had kept the voicemail, but now that has gone, what is going to stop your step dad thinking your a liar too, when he loves your mum and will 99% believe her.

To be honest i would try and forget about it altogether, or i would try and find out a little more, if you do have evidence that your mum is cheating or has done in the past, then you show your step father, who will make his mind up, BUT BE WARNED, you say you want him to stick around, will he stick around if your mum has been cheating on him.

You will learn as you get older as i have done 13 years on since it happened to me, that situations like this are best left to thoose involved, and you just go about having that relationship with your step dad as you do, You certainly dont want to be known as person who plit them up form getting the wrong side of the story, you will just be known as a story teller.

It is your life flower, and i always go with the motto

'Wherever you go, go with all your heart'

So do what feels right to you and you will be fine x

Answer 6

Ok if you believe your mum and you don't tell your step dad your still going to be wondering if she really is telling the truth. But then you if you tell your step dad and ur completely wrong then you've just caused world 3 within your household. Maybe you need to talk to your mum in a serious matter and tell her how you feel about the situation and that your not nieve and you know whats going on. Tell her if she really cared about your step dad she wouldn't be doing this even if they are having problems. Give her a set time frame for telling your step dad or you will have to intervene. If your step dad did find out that you knew and didn't tell him how do you think he is going to feel.

Hope this helps

Answer 7

sorry to be so blunt about it but your mom is cheating and just trying to save face with you.  why would someone out of the blue call her cell phone and just say that...thats a lie your mom is busted and she tried to smooth things over.  I feel sorry for your step dad though..he seem like he really care for you.   your in a tight spot.....to tell or not to tell dad..that is the question......most people would tell a lil kid such as yourself to just stay out of grown people business....but if its gonna hurt your dad then why should you not tell...but you don't want to loose him either...so i can understand that....but you mom is SOOOOO in the wrong its not even funny...wow you are in a bad spot.  all i know is your mom is cheating and she lied to you...you cant believe that lame excuse she gave you.