Im crying and I need your help please. I don't understand!?

Question

My bf that I was completely in love with dumped several months ago because he wanted to sleep around. We were even talking of marriage. I was completely devastated and barely ate or went to work. But slowly I pulled my self together and found my own place and started going out with my friends.

Then 2 months ago he called me up saying that he wanted to try to get back together. He would come over and sleep with me then conveniently change his mind. He used me as a booty call. He did that several times because he knew of the feelings I still had for him but finally I told him to never talk to me again.

Recenlty, I made some friends with some guys (platonic) and they were really cool to hang out with. They really treated me like one of the guys and we all actually went on vacation for Labor Day. It was a lot of fun and there were no sexual tension or pressure at all. I think they treat me like I am their fun sister. Well, unbeknownst to me, one of my guy friends is aquainted with my ex. My ex told them of the times in the past that we hooked up but he really said "I'm still banging her". I was so mortified and embarrassed. My guy friends were supportive and said that he was just a jerk.

My mistake was calling my ex and confronting him about this. He, in turn, degraded me and said I was ugly, embarassing to be around, stupid, etc. And then he kept saying "go back to your boyfriends" and accused me of sleeping with them (which I haven't). I am so absolutely depressed and crying hysterically and I am at work. I don't inderstand why he is doing all of this! Apparently I am a weak person and maybe deserve all of this.....

Answer 1

you must be talking about satans son there!!

Answer 2

Ok. This guy's on something just like all the other 'good guys' out there. You definitely have a reason to be upset, but don't show it openly because he will then have a reason to look down on you. He'll think that he's won. But he hasn't. You don't have to put up with a guy's c**p just because he misses the 'booty calls'. He's just mad because you smarted up and said, "Hey, I can find a guy that likes me for me." He wanted control, power, and mostly, s*x. You don't deserve that as a woman first, and secondly as a person. No single person needs that, and you don't have to worry about what he's got to say. :)

Answer 3

First off, and I'm saying this in the most straight-forward way possible, because it's the only way I feel I can get this through your head, but your ex boyfriend does not care about you. If he dumped you because he wanted to sleep around, then he was no good in the first place. You should thank your lucky stars he was honest, and didn't cheat on you and hurt you even more. Dry your tears.

This guy is definitely playing with your emotions and it isn't fair. He's using you because he knows how you feel about him. Until you put your foot down and tell him that you are not "stupid" or "naive" (whichever you prefer) anymore, he'll never get it. Stop sleeping with this guy because he will continue to treat you like this!

Your guy friends are cool if the understand that your ex is just some a*****e who mistreats women, and I applaud you for surrounding yourself with positive people while you're feeling like this. Keep close to them and stay away from your ex! I cannot stress that enough!

Do not listen to anything evil this guy is saying about you. He's the stupid one for thinking he can treat anybody like this and not have karma come in his direction in the worst way. I know I've said this several times but your ex is nothing but poison. Stay as far away as you can! He will not do anything but kill your spirit.

Continue to stay around positive people that care about more than s*x and who treat you well. You are a human being, these things happen to the best of us, but it seems as if you're learning the hard way. Sometimes you just have to leave people alone. Pretend they don't exist. Banish them from your life. Don't acknowledge anything that idiot says anymore. Lose his number, forget his face, erase his name from your memory. Trust me, you'll become less and less sensitive to the situation that way.  

Answer 4

I'm so sorry about what happend to you. This is terrible..and it seems like he is one of those guys that just likes to have fun with a girl in a sexual way and then leave her. The thing is is that the more you show one of those guys you have very strong feelings for them..well the more confidence they get and the more they push you down cause they will feel like you are vunerable and will always be there for him. I made a similar mistake..but am now in a good relationship and am very happy. I was confused and thought i luved the other guy and all he did was use me..and I had always showed him I cared even after he began putting me down. Don't worry after some time you will look back at this and not even remember this. YOu sound like a great person..and u deserve a great guy...I found love when i wasn't even looking for it.good luck and im sure luv will come to u.

Answer 5

Honey you dont deserve anything like that!!!! He sounds like a big jerk!! And to me it sounds like you have found more in your new guy friends than you could have ever found in that jerk of an ex of yours!! You never know maybe one of them may be MR RIGHT!!

Everything does happen for a reason!!!GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

He is just jealous. He knows you aren't sleeping with the other guys especially if he knows one of them and they know him so they aleady know he is a jerk.  If these guys are fun to hang out with go ahead and don't ever talk to the boyfriend again or about him with the guys. He is just trying to hurt you.

when he calls or comes around and tries to sweet talk into sleeping with you or just talking,   if you have trouble ignoring him or hanging up on him remember how he made you feel, remember how hurt you were. Makes it alot easier to stand up for yourself and avoid getting hurt again.

Answer 7

Because some guys such as your ex boyfriend are insecure, insensitive, mean spirited a'holes.  

You didn't do anything wrong and you shouldn't listen to anything he has to say.  

He seems like an *** because he wanted to sleep around instead of being in a relationship with you.  He then spilled personal information about you.  

He sounds like an a'hole.  You deserve better and everything he's saying he's just trying to hurt you.  Don't give him the satisfaction, laugh it off.  Best way to get to him is to pretend that nothing he can do can hurt you.  

Answer 8

u need to be strong, whatever happen to Girl Power!!!

i say u should put that in the pass, u should not care for a useless jerk. Be strong stay positive dont let anyone put u down keep urself busy so u dont think to much.

Answer 9

You or anybody else doesn't deserve to be treated bad.......no matter what! As far as the ex, it sounds like he is just being mean to you now cause he is jealous you're hanging out with other guys! Don't let it get to you so much...I know its hard, but you have to let him go completely and move on. You will find somebody who deserves you! He seems selfish and doesn't want to let you move on, but doesn't want to be committed to you either.

Answer 10

You need to be stronger and stand up for yourself, you deserve better than that, don't give him the dignity of letting him get to you. Don't go back out with abusive people.

Answer 11

As mortified as you are , you finally saw him for the real person he is. Luckily you made a bad choice by getting back together (briefly for his need which I'd think that's the way he see's it)who cares know. Whats done is done. You need to get your emotions in check by cutting ties with him period. This way you don't need to know smack about him. If he approaches you ,ignore him .You don't need to be insulted (especially not from him).He was lucky you loved him once.if you still do then you got problems .See if you have feelings for him still despite his ignorance and immaturity .He will treat you this way because he knows you love him. But , if you don't love him .When he approaches you , tell him you don't need to be bothered by an immature childish person as him (then walk away ) . If he starts yelling names etc . Ignore it , it will only hurt him more .Why ? because he knows he lost this battle of him being the center of attention . If anyone comes up to you with gossip or anything to say about him .Flat out say , you don't care and you have your own life to live.Change the subject . See this way your already , moving on and have confidence.

No matter what guys do ,at times they do it to grab your attention .

Eventually everyone will get the picture and wont bother to mention him again .Plus he will get the point and know he lost a good person to be with .

Good luck.

Answer 12

Looks like you have moved on get on moving and forget about your x don't talk to him if people bring him up tell them politely You don't want to hear anything about him.  Enjoy life and have fun.

Answer 13

First of all this guy is the loser here! I hate jerks like this cause then the decent guys (like me J/K) get crapped on at times! You are obviously a great girl and have plenty more to offer to society than this jerk off. Your friends are living proof of this because they were supportive when that buster tried to degrade you. It is in you to recognize that you are the stronger person. He lives a S****y life and will most likely continue to do so. What you need to do is forget him and live your life to the fullest! This is your life not his!

Answer 14

You need to realize that his opinion of you doesn't matter.  Your new friends apparently see him for what he is and it probably doesn't matter to them who you sleep with or not, so don't let his trash talk get to you.  It's kinda like when you have a little brother or sister that is always trying to get you into trouble, eventually you need to just turn the other cheek and it will resolve itself.  Dry your tears and don't shed another one over this jerk.  Don't give him the benefit of another thought!  You can do it, you've already shown that you can pick up the pieces and move on, so keep moving!  Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 15

You don't deserve this...

He is jealous I can tell..

You should start avoid him,and start to live your life without him........

Answer 16

u dont deserve this, dont believe that! he's only doing what u allow him. dont let him come over, dont sleep with him, and try not to let him see u cry. I kno exactly how u feel cause im very sensitive too. but some guys are just extremely mean and when they get sensitive girls like us it makes them feel more powerful to see us hurt behind what they do and say. if he's exposing u to friends, expose him too. Try to pull yourself together, atleast until u get home.

Answer 17

You don't deserve the BS your ex has done to you and is saying about you, and HE doesn't deserve YOU since he is a low life.  Forget him and if he ever tries to get back with you after all of this has blown over,(he might, after he thinks you've forgotten about the hurt he put you through) toy with him like you're gonna fall for it, but then tell him that the day that you'll hook up with him again is the day that gas falls to 50 cent a gallon and slam the phone down.  

Answer 18

Well, you opened the door that let your EX in to berate you again. Do yourself a favor and lose his number, don't take his calls and don't answer the door if he knocks. If you see him in public don't talk to him, don't look at him just pretend he does not exist.

You are not with him and he does not support you financially. What do you care what he thinks about you or anything? He's a CHEATER! He cheated on you. Kick his butt into the gutter he came from.

Your friends sound nice. Keep hanging out with them and don't talk about your ex - with the exception of requesting if your ex is invited to something to let you know so you can make other plans so things won't be uncomfortable for everyone.

There are good guys out there who will think you are beautiful, funny and great to be around.... at one time, if only for a little while, your EX thought that too. LOL