Here is the story, please take time to read it I need your help.
I met this guy at work a year ago, we started getting along pretty well. We would send each other emails, and wed go out to lunch. Unfortunately, i fell in love with him, he became my best friend, and i realized he didn't feel the same way about me, and my feelings were getting stronger, so I decided to tell him the truth and walk away from his life. I figured it was no use to still be friends because the day I saw him with another person, would break my heart.
So we stopped talking for about 2 months. Then, we started talking again, and one day, we were talking and he was kind of drunk, he told me he had missed me so much during the time we were away from each other, and he said he wanted to try a relationship with me. I still loved him, but i was really hurt, and my feelings were not as strong anymore. But i still had feelings for him, so we gave it a go.
We started dating, it was cool. One day, he said he would call me, but he didn't, so the next day i called him, he was kind of indiferent with me. We went out in the evening. And he was really distant. I started feeling very rejected. That evening was so awful, he wouldnt hug me, he wouldnt kiss me, we were away from each other... Emotionally, and on the way back, he started saying that he couldnt be with a person like me... so we broke up. By then we had already tried to have s*x, he was the first one.
A week passed, and he came back, saying he didnt want to loose me, he gave me a flower, and he wanted to start over with me, so i gave him a chance.
Its been like 3 weeks from then, and i have given him my everything, i do love him. Sometimes, he says he loves me, and sometimes when i ask him, he evades the question. Sometimes he is really sweet and tender, and somtimes he is hard as rock and really careless. I dont know if its just the way men are, but i wish he would love me like i did, i gave him my everything, he was the first man in my life, i have changed so many things in me just to be with him, and sometimes i feel he doesnt value that... I feel like breaking up with him, but the fact that we already had s*x, and the fact that its been really little time since we started dating, make me want to give the relationship some time, but sometimes i cant stand to think that maybe hes just with me while he finds his true love, because he doesnt love me, and I had so many issues with my mother because of this relationship. Last fact, he is 12 years older than me, im just 21.
What should i Do? give the relationship time? or break up? I feel really desperate and depressed when he seems insecure by saying i love you. My life has turned into a complete mess... all because of him...
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