Im frustrated at the ex he lets the kids down.?

Question

Im a mother of three beautiful children, and im going trhough a divorce from my soon to be ex husband. From the of he has let the children down by not visiting or turning up at unsaintly hours of the night drunk. As of march this year we had agreed he would have the children on a fortnightly basis friday to sunday... that was until a few weeks ago when he first Phoned with an excuse he couldnt have them because he was working. I was fine with that but a little peeved.The following fortnight his girlfirend phones and says the exact same excuse and asks if I could swap my life around to suit his needs. When i said no i got a torrent of abuse of her down the phone before she hung up. I have since contacted my solicitor as my ex husband has not been in contact other than a text message demanding he has them one sunday (to which I ignored and showed my solicitor), saying that I am willing for him to see the kids but he has to stick to the arrangements that were set previously. They have sent him a letter stating this. Whta i want to know is, if he doesnt contact me or my solicicitor what is the next step forward? I hate seeing my choldren being hurt like this. its wrong.

Answer 1

I'm glad you are including your solicitor in this so she/he knows that he is the one being irresponsible. If he is being like this, do you really want your kids at his house while he's there with some girlfriend neglecting them? Your beautiful kids deserve so much better, I know they do, and so do you. I understand it isn't fair for you to have to be left on your own, and he needs to take responsibility. I would ask your solicitor what you should do, and look at the options. Then call this guys lazy *** over so he can see them, and then explain to him that he's making a commitment that he needs to stick to, or he won't be able to see his children again.

Answer 2

Fight for full custody with no visiting rights.  

Answer 3

i am in the same boat you are.  my ex wants to see the kids when it is convenient and he doesnt live his life for them he is constantly wanting to change things.  he took a vacation "by himself" and told them he would take them somewhere for a few days and that hasnt happened.  but he had his time.  that is all that matters to him.  my boys are so hurt by him.

Answer 4

honey try to get sole custody. obviously ur ex has a lot of issues to deal with and u did the right thing by getting out of it. i think ur doing a good job he should stick to what was arrange and if that girlfriend calls don't pick up this is none of her business. if she leaves mean message get those recorded so u can play then at court when u get custody of ur children. all u can do is keep with the system. as a mother u have to explain to ur kids to not be angry or judge their father that they should instead pity him because he is an unhealthy person. which is totally true. this will also teach ur children to be healthy, understanding people too. also tell them what kinds of unhealthy things the father is going through and teach them how to be healthy. it sucks about ur ex and there isn't really anything u can do to make him better, all u can do is keep going to court and teach ur kids pity. Also be an example as to how to handle unhealthy people because what u do determines in the future what kind of relationship ur kids will have with their significant others. good luck honey.  

Answer 5

I have no advice for you but I do want to encourage you. It sounds like you really want what's best for your children and they will eventual see your effort and how it over shadowed that of their father's. They will be hurt by him but kids are smart- they will make it through. Just help them understand that it isn't their fault their dad is a flake. Good luck with this- I really feel for you.