Im having one heck of a time comming up with a speech/toast for my sisters wedding in 2 weeks!! ?

Question

i am the matron of honor in my younger sister's wedding. its happening in 2 weeks and i am at a complete loss of what to say.

little history:

*my sister and i havent always been close or gotten along growing up. we faught constantly. but now as adults i can honestly say she's my best friend.

*we now turn to each other for advice or a shoulder to lean on (even though we live 500 miles apart, which soon will be even further since she gets to move to hawaii!! lucky bum!!)

*the night my son was born, she dropped everything and caught the first flight out to me so she wouldnt miss the birth of her first nephew, and my first baby.

*her and her hubby to be took time out of their lives to be there when my son went in for major surgery.

her hubby to be i dont now a ton about. so im not sure what to say to him other than "welcome to our crazy family"

i think i want to end it by saying "she's a great firend which will make her a great wife. she's a great aunt which will make a great mom someday" but not sure if that sounds dumb or not.

also my married last name ends in ....."son" and her soon to be married last name ends in "son" and my husband is blond with blue eyes, and her soon to be husband is blond with blue eyes,. i wanted to add somehting funny about that, but not sure how to. (no, they're not related)

i just seriously need help, and am at a loss as to how to make it flow nicely together. i also have a phobia of public speaking.

ughhh...this sucks. anyone want ot help me??

Answer 1

I was the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding a few months ago, and had to make the toast as well. I have a bit of a fear of public speaking, and she had nearly 300 guests there!

I kept it relatively short (2-3 minutes). It's easier on you that way, and the guests want to get back to partying anyway, so don't feel like you have to talk forever.

You seem to have a good outline going. Maybe start by fondly mentioning the bickering between you and your sister when you were little (as long as that's what it was... if it was serious near-estrangement bickering, you may want to leave it out). That could be something to make a joke about, though.

Then use that to lead into her growing up, and becoming not only your sister but your best friend, mentioning the things like her coming immediately to the birth of your son.

I'm not sure about the comparisons to your husband, though. That may take the focus off the bride and groom a little too much, and many of her guests may not know your husband so the joke would be lost on half the guests.

It's tough that you don't know a lot about the groom, but you should try to incorporate something about him since you are technically toasting both of them. Maybe a short anecdote about one of your first meetings, or something about how happy you see that he makes her.

I definitely like the ending, it does not sound dumb.

Other tips that helped me: I needed to say mine over and over again to get through it without crying. By the time the wedding came, I had said it so many times that I was almost immune to it and I barely teared up.

Also, the temptation (for me, at least) to have a bit to drink to calm down before the speech was there, but don't have more than one drink before you get up. You don't want to be sloppy.

And finally, write it out and bring it up with you just in case you forget what you're saying. That way, you can give it to your sister afterwards as a keepsake, too.

Good luck! You'll be fine.

Answer 2

I found this guide to making a wedding speech at Elegala.com.  Although it doesn't address your situation specifically, the toasting tips offered are pretty universal.  I think if you just follow these guidelines, you should be fine:

What to Say (and not to say)

1) Always thank the bride’s parents. And both families for that matter.

2) Thank the guests too since they make the day what it truly is.

3) Look for a particular anecdote that quickly emphasizes a point you’re trying to make (maybe here is where you can draw on the same last name endings and both husbands with blue eyes; use these examples to show that with all your differences, you and your sister still have a lot in common)

4) Funny is always good, but dirty or too risqué almost always falls flat.

5) Inside jokes in front of hundreds of family and friends are pointless too.

Speaking Tips

Think back to the last time you gave a speech or presentation in front of lots of people. How nervous were you? Did you get on a roll when you had cues to rely on or was it better when you were speaking off the top of your head? This should be your guide as to how much time, thought, and effort you need to put into preparing for the speech.

Beyond that, here are some tips:

1) Even if you’re a veritable John Stewart, think of what you want to say at least a day or two before the wedding.

2) The good news is that your subject is something (or rather, someone) dear to your heart. Let that guide you.

3) Try to avoid needing to memorize or type out the entire speech. Instead, use a few note cards and practice it a few times to get your rhythm.

4) Perhaps the most important thing about a toast though, beyond its pithy stories and emotional moments, is its brevity. Keep it to 2-3 minutes max. Whether you’re the groom or the best man,

this day obviously means a lot to you. And while it means something to all of the guests, it’s not as big of a deal for them. So get to the heart of the matter quickly, and get out.