Im in childcare and I have a very difficult child. Can anyone help????

Question

This child has no disapline at home and we need to curb his behaviour at work. This child will strike any child for fun. He likes to see other children sad. I know this child has a very difficult life at home eg. no attention from parents. Im trying to find some ways to leviate my stress at work and also incident reports for other children.

This child likes (seeks attention ) to hurt other children on a regular basis. I have tried walking hand by hand with the child after he has misbehaved but I find that is what he wants. I need to come up with some ideas that will discourage his bad behaviour. eg. Time out etc. I have tried time out but he wont stay seated for the time, and its very difficult to have a staff member with him when the staff member is needed elsewhere.

Can anyone give me some ideas to how I can correct this behaviour. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

i think you have my nephew!! just kidding, he is seven now. how i worked with him was by giving him a pillow or blow up punching doll and explained to him when he feels like hitting he can hit these things as hard as he wants. i told him "you can wail on these things as long as you want because they are not people and when you are mad at people you want to hit them you hit these things instead". it took about a week but he finally got the hang of it and still hits pillows now instead of people (most of the time). good luck with him. it takes a lot of love and a lot of patients.

Answer 2

the first answer from homegirl was a great idea

Answer 3

If he is old enough to hold and carry items I would try to make him my little assistant.  He obviously craves attention, ask him lots of questions while he is helping you, small decisions as to snacks, toys, paint colors etc.  Keep him occupied and involved in positive pastimes.

Don't know if this will work but it will keep him close to you and maybe satisfy his need for attention.  Sad, he is a neglected child.

Answer 4

Check out this website, they have some great information on managing challenging behaviour:

http://www.childlink.com.au

Answer 5

You aren't going to go far without the parent's help.  Sorry.

Answer 6

u can put then in a spot away from the other kid not to be mean

Answer 7

i had a child like that and its hared to work with kids like him because you feel like your not giving much attention to any one els but him.this is what i did. every time the child misbehave i would call every one in class and i would play one of the games that he liked to play but i wouldn't let him join in the fun and i would look him in the eye and tell him when you stop hurting my friends and be nice you can join us and play. keep doing this and little bit at a time he will know that if he wants to have fun with every one he needs to be nice. and one more thing try to focus on the positive not the negative. for example if he is running in class don't say don't run say walking feet please if he is using his hands to hurt children don't say no hitting say gentle hand with our friends.

Answer 8

for a moment i thought you might be my coteacher at preschool.  i have an EXTREMELY similar child in my class.  it's almost like having a 2 year old that is a sociopath.  we tried everything too.  extra attention, lots of praise, special helper deals.  the only thing we've found that's worked is making him miss his favorite things.  so, no playroom for whacking his friend with the truck.  he also has to sit in a chair by the door until he calms down, no matter how long it takes.  this seems to help.  sorry, i know what your are feeling...

Answer 9

i had a child like this before. i gave him "special" things to do because that is exactly what he needs. attention. when he hurts a child have him help that child feel better and have the other child tell him that they don't like that. ignore his undesireable behavior and reinforce his good behavior. and please talk to the parents. and your director your director is suppoised to back you up and help you also. when he hits or hurts look at him in the eye and say sternly. that is not ok.

Answer 10

give him a lot of attention for everyday / good behavior.

talk to his parents. be sure to tell him how much you like it when he is behaves.

Answer 11

I agree with the first replier, giving him jobs will make him feel special and he'll be less likely to feel like he constantly needs your attention. I would also try to make it as inconvienent as possible for him to act this way. If he gets into a mode that he wants to hurt other kids, take him away, and just work with him. Eventually this is going to annoy him, he's not going to want to be with you all of the time, he would rather be playing and having fun with his friends. When he acts appropriately praise praise praise. Tell everyone you see (while your with him) what a good day he is having. Tell his parents, your director, other teachers, etc. Make him feel good about acting positively.

Answer 12

Sounds tough.  Also it sounds like one of your goals should be to have a positive relationship with this child.  That's when most corrective techniques work best.  Have you ever heard of I Love You Rituals?  I know that we aren't suppose to use the word "love" in the classroom but you can change it to make it work for you.  The point is that you do the ritual everyday and they will eventually respond to you.  Here is the one that I used most in the classroom setting.

Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star

Twinkle twinkle, little star,      (Sit or kneel in front of child. Hold child’s hands & raise them slightly above heads. Wiggle fingers together to represent the ‘twinkle’.)

What a wonderful child you are! (Bring arms down & rest hands on each other’s shoulders.)

With bright eyes and nice round cheeks, (Touch child’s face with pointer fingers)

Talented person from head to feet.                    (Take the child’s hands in yours and put them high and take them low.)

Twinkle twinkle, little star, (Hands back up to the sky and wiggle fingers.)

What a wonderful child you are. (Give a hug)

It sounds corney but it does work!  Contact me via email if you wish for more info.