Im in love with a man who is getting married??

Question

I'm 18 and I'm in love with my 23 yrs old friend and he said he loves me too .

we have been in an off and on relationship for about 3 yrs now and we have been keeping it a secret from my family because if they found out i would be killed cause I'm not supposed to date, but one day he kissed me and he said he loved me and i said i loved him back. then 2 weeks later i find out from my sister that he is getting married to this girl from his country. it broke my heart . but he said it was cause of the age difference and his dad is forcing him too get married. i was still broken up about it what should i do i fell in love with him ever since i saw him at the age of 11 but didn't start anything till i was 15. i cant stand to be around him cause it hurts so bad. and he still kisses me on the cheek and says i love you.

WHAT SHOULD I DO??

Answer 1

that is hard because you dont want to interfere with your religion, and if he has an arranged marriage, i dont know much about those things but i would guess that would be very disrespectful. you will have to ride this one out. try to stay away from him and try to move on the best you can. there really isnt much you can do.  one day the man of your dreams will come along and it will be the right timing good luck  

Answer 2

watch my bestfriends wedding

loooool

Answer 3

He has already made his choice- he is marrying someone else- so it's necessary for you to move on. You are young. You will have many other opportunities, whether arranged marriages or not. If you are going to be one of those pioneer women in your culture to slowly change those age-old customs of arranged marriage you should do it gradually, and with someone who is willing to take the fight on with you, not someone who is playing games with your heart, claiming to love you and first sign of pressure is getting married to someone else.

You'll get over him. i know you can't imagine that now.

but you will, people do. In the history of heart breaks, people do eventually mend their hearts and move on. Busy yourself with school or work or other things and you will soon have forgotten all about this.

Whatever culture you come from, arranged marriages or not, unless it's legal and acceptable for multiple wives/ or husbands, he is now committed to someone else and therefore no longer available to you. Let him go. Why would you continue with someone who is not caring enough or strongly about you that they would be willing to risk disowning their family, etc, to make a life with you? He's not that person  

Answer 4

I don't think the age difference is an issue. If he really loves you and you love him then he shouldn't go on to marrying someone else. He's 23 years old and he could make his own decisions not live by his parents. If he really feels like he says he does about you then he should just wait for you. The best thing to do is to talk to him before he gets married and explain to him how you feel about his marriage and that what both of you have is special. Good Luck!!! [:

Answer 5

if he doesn't love his wife he should not marry her let him marry you

cause if him and the other girl get married it will not be fun for them and if he likes you best let him marry you for both of you to be happy

Answer 6

You're not allowed to date at 18?  O______________O

thats like, sickening..

Answer 7

Sorry about your broken heart hon, but you're going to need to move on.  If he is marrying anyone else for ANY REASON, he is off limits.  If he truly loved you, he would wait for you and resist family pressure to be in an arranged marriage.  If he's allowing himself to be pressured into marrying someone he doesn't love, his family of origin is more important than you.  Sorry about that.  You may need to cry, talk to a therapist, take up a new hobby, etc.  But you will get over him, and free yourself up for being with someone who is truly available.  

Answer 8

gosh, this is a hard situation, and both of you all will have to trust your intuition.  if he really loves you, then he won't get married to another woman, that is the bottom line.  so i think this is going to be hardest on you, but you are going to have to be strong, and don't chase after him, let him chase after YOU b/c that is how you will know that he truly loves you.

Answer 9

LEAVE HIM BE! He is getting married. It is too late, he is moving on - whether he is forced to or not, he is engaged to be married!

Edit - it is still MARRIAGE, whether he knows her or not. Keep out of it

Answer 10

Avoid being around him or communicating with him. Eventually, you'll gt over him.

Answer 11

You will have to let him go and move on. He has chosen someone to marry, and it's not you. He must have feelings for her, otherwise, why would he marry her. Quit letting this eat at you, wish him"good luck" if you are still talking to him, and move on.  

Answer 12

i think if you guys really like each other that shouldn't matter but just stay friends with benies (companionship)

Answer 13

I am so sorry for you.  It is hard when you are in love with someone that you can't have.  Five years is a lot right now but it won't be when you are older.  I married my husband when I was 24 and he was 29.  The only way you could be together would be to run away and get married and move away from your families.  I am sorry that you aren't allowed to date at the age of 18. That is really strict.  I can't imagine living in a country where your marriages are arranged and you have no say.  What a miserable way to spend your life.  I know if is unfair and I am really sorry for you.  I guess you have to move on because you don't have a choice.  Hopefully you will be in love with the one who you marry one day.  I guess you should stop contact with this man to make it easier on you.

Answer 14

You for one have to tell him how you feel and quick. He is 23 years old he doesn't have to listen to his family. You are 18 years old you also have a mind and body of your own. If none of this works out you will be fine love is a choice you will find a new love if it comes down to it. You are responsible for your own destiny so go for it and don't look back!!

Answer 15

omg that's so sad. if you love each other, i say follow your hearts and do what you think is right! run away and elope!

and i think everyone is overlooking the fact that that he's being forced to get married. maybe because they don't understand it...but i do...arranged marriages are big in my culture.

Answer 16

Move on it does not seem worth the drama. I am sure you will have love to give when the man of your adult dreams appears. This childhood crush should be crushed. I know I sound cruel, but you will always remember your first love. Once you find your second love you will learn more of what you want and your third and fourth will also prepare you to live happily ever after with a man you know is perfect for you. Don't let him kiss you or say he loves you, that is mean of him to play games with your heart.  

Answer 17

ok this is a hard one but you loved him for a long time and now he is getting married wow yea i would be pissed!! but you could still be good friends and DONT show that you care that he is getting married bc that will show him that he is getting you jealous and you dont want that!!! :]]

Answer 18

Get over him and move on. You don't honestly want to be the "other woman" do you?

Answer 19

get over him this is your life and one guy is spoiling all the fun in it move on and chances are u will get a new guy

ps.read the book: he is not that into you  

Answer 20

I'm sorry, that really sucks.  I guess you have two options.  Both of you could run away together where you could be together but your families will probably disown you.  Or, you could stay away from him as much as possible and time will lessen the pain.