Im in need of advice from very open minded people!?

Question

Im a girl in a relationship with a girl. Weve been together a year and lets just say she hasn’t pulled much weight. The result of that is my feelings diminishing for her. I present myself as a L*****n to the world but there is one guy that I could really see myself spending my life with. (or maybe bc its presented to me i feel like its an option)

Im just scared I cant really live the straight lifestyle. Im horrible at making decisions and my feelings can change rapidly.

I just want happiness. I want my own happiness and happiness at home. I just feel like I a woman wont ever have the dependability I need.

This woman depends on me soo much and when I see sorrow in her eyes, the nurturing side of me takes over and nothing seems to get fixed besides her sadness by my comfort.

Answer 1

Sounds like you may be bisexual if you find interest in some men. You can't stay with someone because you feel pity for her. Everyone has to learn to handle break ups in their life and if you are not happy it sounds like its time for her to learn.

Answer 2

Unfortunatley where matters of the heart are concerned, someone may have to get hurt.  You must first be sure that your feelings for this man extend in some way to all men, and that you are not confusing a feeling of security with love.  If you think you could love this man, be passionate about him, and enjoy a happy life with him, then you have no option but to explore that relationship.  In these situations you can't sacrifice yourself for someone elses happiness - She may be hurt, but she will get over you - and find happiness with someone herself, in the long run thats better than you living a lie and her living in a world that isn't real. Good luck!

Answer 3

We all want happiness no matter what kind of relationship we are in i.e. man+woman, man+man, woman+woman.

If you feel this person is not "pulling" their weight maybe you need to have a an honest talk with them. It takes two people to build a relationship. When their is only one constantly giving and the other only takse that makes for no good.

If you are unhappy you should go your own way. Unfortunately there are people in this world who only take and never give back.  

Answer 4

You don't state how old you are. Are you a teenager, young adult, adult?

You sound confused as to what your sexuality could be. Do you just see this guy as an outlet to get away from the girl? Are his feelings the same for you?

Showing you the "pity getter" eyes to you is a sure sign she knows which buttons to press with you. And you say that you are horrible at decisions and your feelings can change rapidly. Sure signs of someone who could use a third opinion of a therapist.

I would suggest seeing a professional therapist to help you sort out your feelings.

Answer 5

I think if you arent in it for the long haul you need to get out. Why would you keep doing something that doesnt work? You know its gonna end eventually and the longer you wait the harder its gonna be for the other person. It will get easier for you because "little things" will eventually drive you crazy and you will get pissed one day and blow up. Ive done it and seen it done.

As for you think you cant be straight...I think if you have the right person you feel yourself more than ever. I am married and I didnt understand this until I met my husband, I am more myself with him than I have ever been. I never have to think about what to say or play games.

Im not gonna lie ill do some dirty things to some girls, but I couldnt date one...women are crazy!

Answer 6

I think your bi and tell your gf how you feel she might understand if you been together for a year :)

Answer 7

Sweety, what you feel is natural. This is the way human beings are meant to love. There is nothing wrong with uncertainties and insecurities. It took me 7 years to kind of decide that i wanted to be with my husband for the rest of my life. We have had 5 years of ups and downs and surprises at every turn but I wouldn't change it for the world. We do not consider ourselves to be a normal couple. We do things that best friends do and despite what people think of us, we know that we love each other and enjoy each other's friendship. Don't worry about falling into any particular stereotype of what a straight person should be. Love your man and be happy doing just that. The world is a  HOT mess and you don't need to model your life after how people think you and your man should be. Follow your own gut and emotions. I am not pro g*y relationships as i am a firm believer in God and his word. I do believe that it is very possible for self proclaimed g**s to become straight and remain straight. I know a lot of people who did that. And though they may not be the typical "straight" guy or girl. They are happy. Then again.. I have never been g*y and I'm not the typical straight girl. I just know that I love life, I love my husband and I love God. That's all that matters. Isn't it?

Answer 8

Have you ever been with a man? Sounds like you may be bisexual. Do not be so afraid to express your feelings. You will end up making every one else happy but not yourself. Sometimes you have to hurt people but in the long run she will get over it and move on. Just be sure you know your own feelings.

Answer 9

Well it sounds like its time for a different gf. one that's actually independent and capable of making decisions on her own and not quite so emotional. It sounds like you just need someone that's there for you too and there's  nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you have to pretend to be straight in order to find that someone. Just keep your eyes open and start looking for a new woman. there's plenty of them out there and I'm sure you'll have an easy time finding a different one. But it would be wise to break up with your existing gf right now. clearly she just isn't what you're looking for in a woman. But if you don't want to break up with her then by all means see if you can't get her to work on things and become more independent. Perhaps she just needs you to nudge her in the right direction, you love and support and help to get the ball rolling to start something for her. She might just be extra needy. I don't know the choice is by all means yours and something you've got to figure out.  

Answer 10

here's what i say, very simply put. follow your heart. if you like this man , then you like him. if you dont, there you go. i know you are saying you cant leave this girl because she depends on you. but, you cant be a zombie your whole life. you have to leave her. maybe once you do she will learn how yo be dependent. .dont go on wondering

" WHAT IF"................ AND REGRETS.