Im in the middle of righting quotes/sayings on my door but i need more but they must be funny

Question

Im in the middle of righting quotes/sayings on my door but i need more but they must be funny

Answer 1

Here are some of my favorites:

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I am not tense - just terribly, terribly alert.

I like work - it fascinates me.  I can sit and look at it for hours.

You can either agree with me, or be wrong.

Half haste helps, but whole haste hinders.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Answer 2

i cant wait until tomorrow;; because i get cooler everyday.

if idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

im the kind of person that walks into a chair and apologizes.

im so random that in the dead of silence ill start laughing about something that happened yesterday.