Im reali confused, i dont know how the father is?

Question

i am reali confused when i found out i was pregnant, i hadnt long split up with my long term ex, and at first i thought he was the father,so i told every1 he was, and it made it easier for the family to come to terms with it, i am 33 weeks pregnant, and from the ultra sounds, i know hes not the father, he wants a dna test, but i dnt know how to tell him that hes not the father after ive told him all this time that he was? and how do i go round get a dna test? when i found out, that my ex wasnt, i thought it could of been a lad i went out for a couple of weeks, when me n my ex split up, i told him hes a possibitily, but hes said he doesnt want to know, either way. but ive been having a look at when i was meant to have concieved, and it works out that it could be a one night stand i had with an old family friend how has a girlfriend, and hes advised me not to haveany dna tests done because the truth will come out about me and him at christmas, but a couple days later i started seeing sum1 else and i slept with him.

i normally using protection no matter what but all the times i slept with these 4 people i was drunk, i know its no excuse and im shamed of myself, i darent tell my family, im a shamed myself, so i darest to think what they would think. i dont even know what to do, ive been told not to think about it, because of stressing the baby out, but ive tryed not to an ive done reali well up2 now, but as it gets closer and closer i just cant seem to hold the anxiety back. if any one can advise me please

Answer 1

You just tell the truth.  You need to not only "clear" your ex, but also inform the guy who really is the father.  Both deserve to know the truth, whether they think they want to hear it or not.

Your family doesn't need to know the details.  In truth, they don't want to know, so please do everyone a favor, and spare them.

People make mistakes.  They say things based on assumptions, that they find out later aren't true.  Just say, "I thought ___, but now I know ___", and be as upfront about it as possible.  Someone might be upset with you about it, but that's just how it is...get through the uncomfortable part so that everyone involved can move forward.

Answer 2

Depends on why you want to know who the father is.

If it's for something legal, like child support, then the guy that you name will ask for a DNA test (esp. if they know or suspect you had 4 guys so close together and being drunk and all).

If it's just for piece of mind or for telling the child who her father is:

--good luck with that. Find a guy willing to adopt your child.

There is always the question of genetics.  You might want to know what genes your kid is inheriting (beside the "drop them jeans" gene).

Answer 3

no matter what you do the truth will have to come out! so i suggest you  tell the truth now and in the future please use contraception and try and keep to one man at a time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

You will have to do DNA tests.

Women like you make me sick, stick to one man or keep your legs shut next time and if you can't manage that use a condom.

Answer 5

woah.

i guess u have a few choices.

1. go to your family for support(namely your mom). no matter what, family is always there for you.

2. you could just get the DNA tests, keep the results so only you know the real truth.

3. Worst case senario, you get an abortion

Answer 6

totally agree with shouty dad on this one

Answer 7

Try confused.com

Answer 8

There is a reason this in the mental health section.

go to the dept of health in your county website, they will help you with all your questions.

He will definitely get a DNA test before he comes out with some money.  

Answer 9

you know what.  put your mistakes behind you and move on from that.  cherish your child and love him/her.  how about all your preachy types sticking your noses in the sand to all those A$$holes that lie to girls like me till we are pregnant and run away!!!  

any man can be a dad, but it takes a REAL man to be a FATHER.  my daughter has a father and that is all that matters and luckily for everyone else she wont need all of you.  and not every family is always there for you.  I thought mine was, i tried to get help from them and that was just when they stabbed me in the back.  I am not saying that is what your family will do, i just want you to think maybe pray on it.  

do what your heart tells you to do.  love your baby.  and all those preachy types can go s***w they are obviously perfect and never done anything wrong in their lives to know what its like to make a tough decision.  

(did you ever hear "my sperm aren't working, I can't get a girl pregnant.  OOOPPPPSSSSS!!!!!!  I guess I can")