Im so depressed because my situation seems impossible to get out of or escape from - help ?

Question

People seem to keep me distant & are very aloof to me like they can sense i have a lot of problems ...

how do i handle this behaviour ?

its like from my perception no one wants to get involved with me, like iam a condemed person which people are disturbed by or whatever.

its not like i have never tried with people either, in the past i have even acted out of character to try and be overly friendly and nice to be accepted and still, people have kept their distance but been civil to me, almost like making it evident they dont want to know me.

ive had a very hard life, suffered severe hard times all my life ; bullying , abuse and rejection, iam now 30 with borderline personality and post traumatic stress symptoms.

i live alone in a one bedroom flat in england on disability, iam presentley waiting to see if the services will offer me group therpy - i have had my assesment done last week.

i own nothing except an old, dusty computer, ive never had or accomplished anything i wanted so far in life..

never formed any relationships ever - never had a job or been employed - never had qualifications.

for many years i have had major problems with aggression and rage due to the fact i was severley mercilessley bullied earlier in life......problems socialising with people.......paranoid persecution problems.........very very severe low self worth.......extreme anxiety problems......behaviour and social problems.

the biggest one has been aggression and rage which never seems to expire within me.

ive made alot of progress over the years all by myself, controlled my aggressive outbursts all by myself - i used to have aggressive outburst in public often , where i would lash out at people, shoulder barge people over , get attacked and hurt by strangers, cause myself public embarressment and humiliation........get cautioned by the police etc.

im ashamed of those actions but never did it purposfully, whilst out - the rage just used to take me over, if i felt threatened, paranoid, felt jealous of others happy lives etc..

this was many years ago, about 4 years now and ive really improved since then.

i very much still have extreme low self worth, though, deeply fear rejection, act all intimate and clingy and desperate whenever i try to get to know someone, especially females who often reject me because of this.

i get all desperate and intense , so now im even scared to reach out to people because im aware of how iam and fear rejection so badly.

i feel i dont have the social skills to know how to act different.

in the present people - i feel - are still very aloof with me - stand offish - i often feel my efforts to be friendly are often repelled or rejected - its like no one wants to know me - everyone is distancing themselves from me.

that is what i percieve, and because of this i feel socially ostracised - scared to try anything like a college course or a night class or something incase the public act this way and reject me.

i know no ways to deal with this behaviour except to feel and act aggressive which thn just further isolates me from people - like a vicious circle.

also i know im paranoid but im also intelligent and know when im being treated like this by people - so dont answer me and tell me im imagining it or its all in my head.

does anyone know how i can handle this ?

Answer 1

Go to your nearest university. Find the psychology department. Book a time with a psychology student who is studying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

If you have the money, try a licensed CBT psychologist instead.

Answer 2

Hon Listen to me... everyday when I log into answers I get this very same querstion every time this is part of the problem... you dwell so deeply into your past life that it gets to become almost in grained into your brain. you need to stop dwelling on your past so much because you can't live in your current life untill you let go of your past. I had one of the worse lives anyone could ever imagine I went threw being beatup and bullied myself plus I had also ritual abuse to deal with as well as every other kind of abuse there is to speak of. You got to let all that go untill you do you can't make a new life for yourself becuase people don't like hearing these awful things over and over again and again. I have answered every question you have asked and it seems like out of all the answers you get you do not even try to take any of them to heart. If it is pity your asking us to feel I do I feel for you but you have to help yourself move on get on to something more possitive in your life even if it is just a good movie you watched. I am trying my best to help you I have even given you my personal info to talk to and no matter what everyday there is this same question. My question is this... if you don't take anyone's answer to heart and try to change your life then why keep asking the same one over and over again? what are you looking for by doing that?? Please think about something else in your life there must have been at least 1 good thing focus on it! Get some mental help and get your life rolling you have to do it no one else can do it for you.

Answer 3

Ask yourself if you'd be prepared to be friends with someone who's problems are so lengthy and at the forefront.  People don't want to get to know your problems before they get to know you.  You need to get over your issues.  Everyone has had tough times.  Everyone has suffered.  Some people make the decision to be empowered, and some let themselves become victims, victims of themselves and victims of the world.  I could sit here and list all the traumatic things I have experienced in my life, how horrible it is, what has become of me because of them, but what good would that do?  Prove I am as unhappy as you are? You need to cheer up and go out to a pub and have a beer.  And when your neighbor at the bar starts to talk to you, restrain from mentioning any of your problems.  Talk about sports, or a good book, or something interesting, something NOT YOU.  Or better yet, make it a point to have the entire conversation focused on them! Just like you everyone likes to talk about themselves, if you spend the whole night listening and engaged in who they are and what they do you will have a friend by the time the night is over.  

Answer 4

You need to find someone to talk this out with

not some psychiatrist, in my opinion they dont care

but you need a good friend to just hold onto and get advice from..where to find someone like this? i dont know, it just happens

But you seem like a nice person to me

why anyone would isolate you just because youre different, and afraid, is a mystery to me...

and you shouldnt fear rejection..I know youve probably heard this a bunch of times before, but just shake it off, they dont matter.

I, also care too much what people think, and am working on that, but i dont carry it to a point to not try

If you dont try, youll never get anything

so go out somewhere you like, and try talking to people

If they dont seem to like you, then **** them

find someone else

there are billions of people on this planet

im sure one of them will be nice enough to talk to you

I really really hope you the best :D