Im so tired pleasing my husband,i need some advice..?

Question

my husband is very workaholic,a boss of his own firm.i find it hard to cope with everything he does,but tries my best.He's always the boss,and i'am one of his follower.everything i did,even i do everything to please him it ended up like...the boss is going to freakout.hes really quick tempered.all his employees knows about this and and im one of them. no special treatment for a wife.he even shouts on me in front on many people.sometimes i want to resign being a wife..my field is in medicine too far from his but i did my best..he never appreciates me, never a single time.there's a woman more mature than me,a client. but it seems my husband likes her,they talk many times a day,and i see him.. happy.im younger than my husband and even im already a mom,some people finds me pretty and even tries courting me..they said that im beutiful,which i never heard to my husband.i love him, i never wanted to loose him but im too tired..

Answer 1

think of your kids.. do you want them to see you getting treated like that. try counciling, church groups if he doesnt want to try anything then you have your answer.

Answer 2

If he treats you the way you describe and makes you feel so tired and upset, try talking to him about changing your relationship or quit working for him. If the change doesn't work that I'm afraid neither will your relationship.

Answer 3

Honey that's abuse-mental abuse and you need to LEAVE. There are places that can help you, marriage isn't about one person and their needs, it's about sharing and giving. If you need help to get out call the abuse line it's listed in your phone book.

Answer 4

You should work out a plan in which he has to please you !!

Answer 5

There is a golden rule.  NEVER EVER work with your spouse.  You've learned the hard way, now quit.  You will find your husband will change for the better.

Answer 6

You need to stop working with him for a start! What if you looked for a job in your field. You need to be away from him as a boss (whether you need to be away from him as a wife is up to you to decide).

If he objects for financial reasons, you can point out that you will be bringing in a salary to make up for having to hire someone to replace you.

If he still won`t listen.....you could say something like "working together really doesn`t suit me. I think I need to move away from the company, before the situation gets more serious. I think we need to go back to being husband and wife, not boss and employee"

Try and be as calm and pleasant as possible, but determined.

If things don`t improve once you stop working together, then I think it may be time to quit being a wife.

Answer 7

Quit working for him, go get another job. You can't put up with his c**p at home and then at work! That is just ridiculous. Explain to him why you are quitting and then tell him that you are finding another job to ease the tension at home. Ask him what he would like to do regarding your realtionship. If the answer is unfavorable, you may then resign as his wife. You gave it your best, you tried to make the situation better by not working together, and if he still falls short in your relationship, leave. Good Luck and I will pray for you.

Answer 8

This may sound so cliche, but I too am married to a control freak. I'm a Problem Solver construed by certain self help groups as People Pleasure.

I don't know if your a spiritual person but...I have to say this out loud to myself all the time," God show me what you saw when you first thought of me."

It's a constant inside battle but by reaching out like this your trying to reach your inner power. Start writing your feelings on paper, look at it and then tear it up. I don't feel that he's running me anymore. He's the one who's losing.

The majority of Control Freaks have low self-esteem. He has to be tough in front of you because your the only one who loves him enough to put up with the c**p. Men like that usually have a way with women, charming and delightful.

Answer 9

you answered your own question, resign from being housewife and he will come around let him get mad how long can it last. you have something that he wants and i garantee you cut hom off for a month and he will change, if not tell him you want counseling. Now you notice not once did i say leave, i don't beleive in divorce unless abusive , he obviously did not treat you like this before you got married remond him of who you are. HIS WIFE NOT EMPLOYEE

Answer 10

Find another job if you all can agree that you need to wrk somewhere else.  Then talk with him about his behavior.  If he is not willing to change, try counseling.  If that does not work, you may have to consider other options such as separation.

Answer 11

I think that you should resign from the position of employee. Find a job on your own. Then, if he still treates you like an employee, let him know that you aren't. Also, get Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book on the proper care and feeding of husbands. There are soooo many great tips in there. I have learned that to have my husband appreciate me, I have to appreciate myself and show him that I appreciate him. You will find that being away from him during the day may ease up on your stress.

Answer 12

Do it...leave him....become your own boss!

Answer 13

sounds like he doesnt deserve you....and just because you are a mum it doesnt make you any less attractive......sure you are beautiful....he sounds like the ugly one, emotionally especially

Answer 14

you know what....you sound exactly like my mum. she loves my dad so much even though he treats her really really bad. Let's just say nothing is going to change unless there's some action. Let him know. scare him. i think he like the feeling of being in control and having such power over you. You have to let him know that you are his wife and his partner not just some maid he married to look after the kids. make him acknowledge you!

p.s. maybe the client thing is paranoia, i think in a relationship complete trust is needed. unless things between them are very clear don't do anything.

Answer 15

A list of things you could do

make him jealous.

leave him (I strongly recommend).

transfer to a new department

rise higher than him and give a taste of his own medicine

Answer 16

Do what you think is best. Just that. Nothing more nothing less.

Answer 17

O Man Im Young and Not Married. But Hey there really needs to be more communication. Talk to him about how you feel. From what i can read your husband is being a jerk! If you try speaking to him and he tries to avoid you or seems like he really doesnt care then Something is going on. But Communication is always good. Im Sorry To Hear That Good Luck Though