Im still a lil confused, but i want my husband to learn a lesson...?

Question

Before i take him back after i found him cheating on me yesterday..

and now hes begging me to take him back and that he regrets everything, he says he wont do it again, and he didnt mean to hurt me or anything.. he just got carried away.. hes asking for a last chance...but im not sure what to do so that h**l learn a lesson before taking him back, just so u people know.. i am not taking him back for myself.. im thinkin abt my kids.. thats why.. i couldnt bear the thought of them without a father, theyre so used to him being here..

Answer 1

take him back and tell him its for the kids and not him. your not seting a bad example at all, your showing them that even when you dont wanna do something you need to do it cause its your responability to your kids

Answer 2

Putting your children first is wonderful, however, if you were to take him back you need to do it because of you and because you really believe that it will work.

If you were to take him back for your kids sake and then he cheats on you again, what kind of example are you setting if you keep leaving him then taking him back for the kids again.

Think it through, you need to be sure you are infact setting the right example for your children.

Answer 3

Do you want them to see the cheater he is? Just because you two wont be together dont mean they will be without a father.

Answer 4

You're stupid if you take him back. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 5

Most marriges are only there for the kids and kids only. If you do not feel comfortable around him then I suggest you do not take him back. If you don't love him or anything don't take him back. He cheated on you and that is wrong! But if you love him and if he's absolutely sure that he won't do it again then you can take him back. But even with a divorce the kids can visit their father and you can file for child support. He cheated and you obviously don't want him back like you said. You answered that yourself. Don't take him back if YOU do not want him back. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Once a cheater, always a cheater. By taking him back you are teaching your kids its o.k. to cheat on your spouse. Kids tend to grow up and make those same mistakes. Kids also understand way more then you think, they will feel there is something wrong between the two of you.

What guy doesnt cheat and say those same things to their wives? Why wouldnt he do it again, you will take him back when he is sorry...  

Answer 7

First of all your husband is a man and not a dog... I know he act like one, but you can't teach him to learn a lesson. I was married before to a nice lady... I was the biggest dog out there, if it move I screwed it. I really was a dog, My ex-wife ask me to stop, she beg me to stop, she even cry when I did not stop. There was nothing she did wrong or nothing she could do to change me. I needed to change me and I did not want to. Now that said and done, I have been married to a great woman for the last 20 years and I don't mess around anymore. I still take to my ex sometimes and she ask me one day... " How come you are a great husband to her and you were a dog to me?".. The answer is first I don't know and 2nd I did not want to change back them. I needed to grow up first. I can tell you this... If he is cheating on you as you said " yesterday " there is no way in h**l you should take him back right now. If you take him back for the sake of your kids, Sorry you are not a good mother, you need to think about those kids and do what is right for them, and trust me mommy and daddy fighting over the other girlfriends are not what they need to hear. Just to give you one more word to think about.......... AIDS...... Why would you want someone back who is having s*x with whoever? How are you going to help your kids if you both get aids?. Remember he is a dog and should stay in the dog house until he know how to act like a man.

Good luck

Answer 8

If a spouse cheats the % of them cheating again are 97%.

Unless he take full responsibilty, and changes.

Then the % drops to like 70%.

The problem is not you, the problem is with in himself.

Give him a bag of clothes,

Tell him to go stay at a male friends house,

a family members house,

a motel,  

and start going to a counselor

give him a couple of weeks/months

watch his behavior,

make sure he is transparent (Like Dr. Phil) says.

He tells you where he is going, with who, when he'll be back, what he'll do

and if he follows through, great!

if not give him another bag of clothes along with the custody papers that says, he must pay $1500 per child, plus ailimoney.

The key to doing this is to show him you ARE NOT weak, and you deserve much more then hearing words sorry, and that he must work his butt off at trying to win you back.

That is why you give him the bag of clothes, and watch his actions...

If he runs off with / to the other girl, well then the actions speak for themself.

Best wishes.

Answer 9

You need to get together and figure out why he did what he did, then decide if you want to fix the problem and forgive him, or split the sheets and the assets.

Answer 10

Last chance?  Does this mean this has happened before.  It is always good to forgive.  But this doesn't mean that the relationship will ever be good.  If you do take him back there must be some strict boundaries and accountability...such as counseling, you have constant monitoring of his cell phone, have a gps chip implanted in hs balls, whatever.  If you decide to let him go please don't worry about your children.  Sure, it will be hard on them, but honestly and truly no harder than having a father who doesn't respect and honor the mother and the family enough to stay true to his commitments.