Im stuck in the same place, I NEED OUT. What are my options?

Question

I have lived in Alaska for 12 years. (japan one yr) My parents got divorced and my mom and I cannot afford to move somewhere else. Im starting to get depressed, cranky, and its affecting my life. My heads are in the clouds. With my upbringing I was very independent (abuse issues), and I am very studious and I can take care of myself except for funding.

I am 15. When I turn 18, Im studying abroad in Japan, England, or France. I want to do an exchange student program with AFS, but due to divorce issues the soonest I could go is my junior year in highschool.

I have super close family friends in Japan (Also my private Japanese teachers) that I could stay with... but not with AFS. Is it possible to move in with them?

I am almost fluent in Japanese, Have had multiple yrs of Spanish, few of french. Ive generally maintained top grades plus extracurricular activities. Im in a highly gifted program, IQ 157, not that that really matters much... but Im set to go. I need advice! Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm 19 and I feel like I was in a similar position as the one you are currently in.  I am of similar intelligence and felt the same way when I was 15-17 years old.  I literally ran away and lived at the beach where I work in Delaware...with Russians I had never met before.  You're language skills are where you have an edge on me, but I am, never-the-less studying abroad for a semester in Lisbon, Portugal right now and loving it.  

To answer your question I suggest pouring yourself into your studies and finding your passion.  Whether its sports, academics, acting, volunteering or something else, there are loads of opportunities available for you to take your mind of the numbing effect of a unpleasant experience at home.

I live in a relatively rural area, yet I was able to spend almost all of my waking minutes away from home immersing myself in Soccer, Track, XC, Drama Club, Taekwon Do, Math League, Creativity Team, and about 10 other clubs throughout the years that got me by.  Really, you are quite out of luck for moving unless you become a ward of the state (not sure about Alaskan laws, but I know it requires very special circumstances, financial means, and an age of 16 in Delaware).  Truly, learn as much as you can about where you want to travel and what you're interested in before you go somewhere.  You seem like you will have no problems getting into a good University, although if you really want to stand out above and beyond other bright students make your own very serious volunteer or community action group, which you head, and do something excellent. An example which will put you in pretty much any school you want is like my younger (18yrs) brother created a Recycling Club that he helped get a contract between his school and the local waste removal company to pick up their recycling.  He did it too late for it to be good for college, but its something like that, except on a larger scale that will get you noticed by colleges and companies (if the scale is big enough) and give you something else meaningful to focus on.  

Network as much as possible.  The more friends, peer and adults alike, that you have the more opportunities you'll have.  When I ran away for the summer and lived with the Russians at the beach, I walked around meeting people every night and I still keep in contact with quite a few of them.  The more friends you have and the more people who know you, the more support and help you will have in whatever endeavor you decide to pursue.

If you want to contact me and ask me more just shoot me an e-mail.

Answer 2

Get a hobby and talk with your mom or dad. maybe japan is a good place for you to move but think if that is good for your mom.

Answer 3

It seems like you already have a plan.  Studying abroad is a good way to get your feet wet, so to speak, and live and study somewhere else.  That's what I did.  I'm here in France now for 2 semesters.

I'm originally from Louisiana.  I went to college there for a few years and always knew I wanted to go somewhere else.  So then I transferred to a university in New Mexico.  lived there for 2 years and now I'm studying abroad in France.  You just have to go after what you want.  Grants and loans will help you.  Don't rush it...really.  You're only 15.  I would recommend graduating high school (of course), going to college for a year or 2 then studying abroad.  I'm 26 now.  I came here to France when I was 25 (just last semester) and I transferred from Louisiana to New Mexico when I was 23.  

Follow your dreams.  You seem to know what they are.  And when the time is right, you'll do it!  It's very, very possible.  I did it!  :-)

Answer 4

Be courageous! Begin to acknowlege what you are present to (feeling) when you're "depressed, cranky". This does not mean look for a reason why you're "depressed, cranky", but simply to be conscious of it and know/believe it's only temporary.  

I know very well what you're going through and you have an oppourtunity to begin an inner dialouge that can transform your present situation.

How does your mom feel about you moving?