Im torn. should I let my new Husband join the coast guard and move, or stay in WI where my family is?

Question

I really really want to move to the east coast (always have) and if my husband joins the coast guard we would have that chance. BUT I also want to start a family within the next year and a half and want my children to know their grandparents and their aunt who all live by me . (within an hour anyway) oh, I am so torn. yes I have talked to my husband about this but I still cant decide. he wants to talk to a recruiter on Friday. I also dont want to kill my husbands dreams. any advice?

Answer 1

"Should I let my husband..." is a big red flag.    Hopefully you don't decide what he does and he doesn't decide what you do.  Keep talking WITH your husband, collect all the info. you can find before you BOTH make this decision.  Good luck!

Answer 2

When you married you became as one, so if you think he can join the Coast guard and only be half there, that would be a miracle.  If you want to start a family I believe he needs to be there.  When you get pregnant and need to be with family, because he will out to sea, then go back home and stay when the time gets near. They will know family, there are many ways to get to know  your family without being there. It sounds like this would be what both of you want.  

Answer 3

Being far away from family is tough, I know, but what with phones, e-mail, digital photos, airplanes and such, it's much easier today to keep in touch!  I am several states away from my family, my husband is in the Army and I am pregnant with our first.  We plan to visit as the grandparents as often as we can and we will exchange pictures and talk on the phone often.  It can be done!  When I was 10, my family moved to a different state, far away from my grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins, but I still grew up knowing everyone.  I wrote letters often and we visited every year.  Your children will know their grandparents and all of you will keep in touch!  You need to love and support your husband and go with him.  You promised when both of you got married to love and be together through every circumstance of life.  Make sure that your husband does realize how you feel and understand why he wants to join the Coast Guard.  As long as you are comitted to each other and your future children, you will be fine.  

Answer 4

I think sometimes the thought of something is scary than actually doing it. I moved my family 2000km to place that was more kid friendly, that is away from the constant cold to a wonderful warm climate. My kids loved the extra freedom that came from not having to rug up all the time. The down side was it was a distance from my family. Within 2 years my whole family relocated closer to us, they were happy as well. So you never know till you try it.

Answer 5

Go with your husband.  He needs- and deserves- your support.  Your family will be their for your children regardless, and you may find that being on your own will give you a welcome opportunity to raise your children your way.

Answer 6

You made a commitment to your husband, and you should support him in whatever he decides to do. If you stay in WI. that will put a strain on your marriage, and I'm sure you don't want that. You should go with your husband, you will adjust, and your family can come see you and you can go back home to visit them.  

Answer 7

Since you chose to marry your first loyalty should be to your husband and his to you.  

Answer 8

Def go with your husband. There will always be Christmases, spring breaks, summer vacations etc...etc... for your children to meet your family. Doooo it. You want it, he wants it, your children will love growing up near the ocean. And who knows, maybe some of your fam will relocate in a few years!