Im trying find my real mother .....whats the best way of going about it? I know the adoption agency name?

Question

Im trying find my real mother .....whats the best way of going about it? I know the adoption agency name?

Answer 1

Every thing Possum said AND...

Start with what you know. Write everything down! Dates, places, potential contacts, etc.

Consider finding a search support group. They have tons of ideas to help and provide the emotional and practical support you'll need as you search.

Definetly contact the adoption agency and request a copy of your non-identifying information.  Also, ask them if they have a form to authorize the release of YOUR information and leave that on file with the agency.  If your first mom signed a release, you may be able to make contact.

What state were you adopted in?  Almost every state has an adoption registry.  You can google "state + adoption" and look for the web address with the www.state.gov (the ".gov" at the end indicates it's a government web address).  

Often, the state will provide much information about the various ways to search available through that STATE - vital statistics, or DSS, or adoption registries, intermediaries, etc.

KEEP a notebook of every letter or e-mail you send and each response you receive.  This helps 1) keep a record of who you've contacted so you don't duplicate your efforts; & 2) provides a road map of where you've searched and what your next step is.  

Always keep in mind that genealogy is a great resource for searching for family members once you have some names.  

Contact me via e-mail if you'd like. Provide me with some details and I'll be happy to help in any way I can.

Good luck!

BTW-It only took me 3 months between the time I sent my first letter (snail mail) and then made first contact with a 1/2 sibling.  I met my first mom the following weekend.

Answer 2

In what state are you searching?

Answer 3

Definately try the adoption agency - and see what info they can give you. Certainly apply for non-identifying info through them.

Here are some more steps to searching - it's best to put your name out all over for greater success.

Add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

(to see whether you are in a closed record state or not - searching details for that state are also listed)

Check here for search help - and links to search angels (free) -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

(I'm assuming you're in the USA - if not - add info to your question and more hints can be given)

Answer 4

Hi Honey,  I wish you all the luck in the world I would contact the agency and tell them your situation and tell them you are looking for your biological mother and would appreciate all the help they can give you.  I have adopted two girls they were 4 and 6 when I adopted them and now they are 21 and 23 I have one biological child and she is 32 and I love my three girls more than anything in the world they are my life and my 3 grandchildren are too.  Now my girls have never mentioned finding their real mom but they have mentioned finding their siblings, and I have tried to contact the adoption center that I adopted the girls at and have no response at all for any of them. If my girls wanted to find their real mom I would do all I could to help them, everyone deserves to know their background and their biological family.  I know that she had the girls but I have raised them as my own and to me they are mine and I would fight to the end for my girls. They were in a foster home for 2 years and were not treated good at all and it breaks my heart to hear what they had to go thru before I got them, but there are so many foster children out there that even foster parents don't treat them good and the state goes thru a lot before you can become a foster parent but they go about it all wrong.  The children are the biggest concern and their care but they will put them in a foster home and then send them back to their abusive family and then back and forth then the next thing you know the child is dead, and it's such a tragedy, it tears my heart out to hear about a child being abused or abducted that is the worst thing that could ever happen in the world.  I just pray that you can find your real mom and have a chance to talk to her and get aquainted and then you can have a better aspect on life as why you were adopted it could be that it was the best thing for you but I do hope you all the luck in the world in finding your precious mom if that is what you want to do , LET ME TELL YOU" DON'T STOP AT ANYTHING UNTIL YOU FIND HER" I'm sure if you keep trying you will find her so good luck and I will be praying for you....I sure woud love to know if you find her. It would be such wonderful news........good luck and God Bless