Im trying for a baby and i have not reli told my boy friend im sure he also wants a child?

Question

in a way i no for a fact he will be the perfect father figure and he reli loves kids but i aint spoken to him about us having kids but there was one time when i thought i might be pregnant and he told me no matter what he would stick by me so this is what makes me think he also reli wants a baby with me i no we aint been going out for all that long its been about 5 months now but i knew him for a good 3 years befor and we are already ahead of areself as to say we are moving in together very soon but the thing is what i want to know is should we have a child i am 17 and he is 20 i am going to college in sept for a course which i no i will enjoy and i think i could work around it and still have a child and a job can any one help me please

Answer 1

I'm 17 and I'm pregnant myself.

I suggest that you speak to your boyfriend first!

My boyfriend is great with kids but when I told him about myself he totally freaked out and didn't want it... so yeah, speak to him :] But then again he's 18 so it could be different with your fella.

All the best for you both :]]]

Answer 2

He has the right to know. YOu have to tell him. I tihnk you should carefully consider this. Too many people just think "oh, letys have a baby, they are cute and it will be nice" I know you dont like people telling you you are too young but the fact of the matter is that you are only 17! Can you financially support a child? Do you have a job, a place to live? Maybe this isnt the right time for you yet. I tihnk you should wait

Answer 3

Proper order for starting a family:

1. finish high school (begin courting/dating not s*x!)

2. choose career path and follow it

3. begin considering members of the opposite s*x with

    personality traits you find desireable for marriage

4. continue on career path

5. marry that special fellow

6. have children

7. honor your marriage commitment to each other and meet

    your responsibility for your child by staying together til

   death do you part.

I tell my own daughters they are special and deserve the best. I hope your Dad tells you the same thing. Please don't add to the statistics of single moms who "thought" their boyfriend would do the right thing. **spoiler alert** they ALL think their baby's daddy will stick around.

Answer 4

This complete madness and a recipe for disaster ,you can tell from your question you are way too young to be a parent .

Go to college get an education and a career and enjoy yourself first .

Answer 5

That is just wrong! Clearly YOU ARE not ready if you have to ask this question. It is silly little girls like you that makes society what it is. How can you even consider getting pregnant without telling the father?

But I'm sure you will have a bunch of  babies and live a happy life in your council house claiming your dole money!

Sad.................

Answer 6

while we respect your wishes to have a child!  you should respect his feelings. trust and consideration are what makes a relationship. getting pregnant deliberately  is not a good idea. yes he may stick around through guilt etc or just  as he is a 'good guy' but it will later  on be a source of  friction and an excuse to leave you if things get difficult.

  you sound very immature and not using spell check means you don't seem to think things through. I suspect you are deciding with your desires and emotions rather than with a cool head. That way lies problems. Do  sit and think what you are doing . why not wait say 12 months ? this gives you both time to enjoy each others company and to find out if you are fully compatible when you have lived with each for 6 months you will know.  Do ask before you decide on becoming a parent. your child would like a father who wanted to become one and not  conceived as an accident or  an act of selfish behaviour. good luck.

Answer 7

I think you need to inform your BF first...dont spring it on him like...Hey honey guess what Im pregnant...now thats not good.Just let him know now before you try...

Answer 8

No. Don't. Please.

You need to learn proper grammar and sentence structure before you even CONSIDER having children!

Trying for a child without telling your significant other? Puh-lease! That isn't very "trustworthy" is it? Talk to your man... Does he think you are on birth control???? Just be honest with him!!!

Answer 9

Your age is not the issue. If you love him - which you should do, you would not take it upon yourself to decide what route his life will take for the next 18 years without consulting him. He says he'd stick by you if you got caught accidently, but I doubt he would once he realised how dishonest and manipulative you'd been by getting pregnant without his knowledge.

Answer 10

If you have already made up your mind,

little you are told here will make any difference.

All I can advise is that you put a baby out of

your thoughts.

A Baby is a Lifetime commitment.

24/7 hard work.

You lose your Freedom,your Identity,Your s*x drive,You have endless sleepless Nights.

A Baby is demanding,takes up all of your time,

you become physically and emotionally drained.

Have little time for your partner, who in turn can become resentful.

Babies don't come cheap,so you are left struggling with very little money.

Babies have a habit of crying more often than not. They can not be shoved in a cupboard because you are fed up with them.

Babies need all of your interest,in order that they learn and grow. Babies can completely destroy a loving relationship. once reality sets in!

At 17,Sweetheart,you are still a babe yourself.

Don't look at having a baby through tinted colour specs:  Enjoy your life whilst you still can

Find out who you are and make something of your self.

Then, when you have a stable home,a secure and happy background money in the Bank and a 100% comitment,You will have your Tiddly-peep and really love and bond with him/her.

Answer 11

Oh my god, Your pretty much forcing a child upon him! Talk to him, Tell him you want to start trying. If he finds out you did it on purpose he will end up hating you.

This is the worst way to bring a child in to the world. Just talk to him.

Answer 12

First of all depending on what state you live in it is rape for a guy who is over 18 to have s*x with someone under the age of 18. He could go to jail! This wouldnt be the "father figure" you want to raise your kid with. Second of all you are only 17! Get through college first and get a good job. Your baby doesnt deserve anything less. Thirdly dont use a baby as a way to trap him forever its not fair to the child (not saying thats what you are doing).  Fourthly wait to move in together and see if this is really somebody you can spend the rest of your life ( or at least 18 years) with. And finally, you should really talk about this with your bf first. Just because he said he would be there for you before might not mean that he actually wants to have a kid first.

Oh and graduate highschool before you become a mom, its really important.

Answer 13

you have to discuss having children with your partner. if you feel you shouldnt then you are still a child yourself and need to grow up. why wouldnt you want to get through college first so you can probvide a future for your child, they are not toys they are a HUGE responsability and deserve to be treated as such. I garantee you if you do not tell him and he finds out you tricked him into having a child he will resent you for it.

Answer 14

instead of "thinking" he would like a baby with you, why not actually ask him outright?

it also shockingly unfair to try and conceive without his knowledge of your plans.

if you do decide to have a child, i suggest you wait till you are in a more desirable postition, and have been in the relationship for a longer time.

you have all the time in the world to build a family, you should build a life first.

Answer 15

You are not old enough to be a parent.  Finish school, have a career, then have kids.  It is much nicer for both you and kid if you have money.

Answer 16

No don't from experience, i just found out that im pregnant and i am 17 also and my boyfriend is 20. Today we where planning it out and it almost seems impossible to none so i don't know how we are going to do this and i know it's going to be really hard...

Answer 17

That is wrong on so many levels. If your boyfriend finds out what you are doing he is going to feel so betrayed. Just because he said he would stand by you if you were pregnant, doesn't mean he is READY for a child. It just means that he is willing to adjust. You need to talk to him.

Answer 18

Well that is just classic poor guy

Answer 19

i am 18 married and ttc but i discussed this with him you need to talk to your partner otherwise it is not fair on him and he will end up hating you as he will feel trapped talk to him and let him play a part in the desision making.

Answer 20

dont even try without talking to him first. finish school first. i went to college and had my baby in the middle of a semester and then had to finish my last semester with a newborn keeping me up all the time. Then I had to work 40 hours a week. its no fun. You need a college education.

1. Go to school/college and graduate.

2. Marry your sweetheart

3. Talk about kids

4. Try  for a baby

Do it in that order.

I know you think you want a baby now, but you should think about what is best for the baby. You will have no time to spend with her because you will always be at work or school. Just wait!

Good Luck!

Answer 21

tell him!!!

now!!!

Answer 22

what if your relationship  doesnt work out u will be stuck in the house with a baby while ppl ur age are out partying i think you should wait till u finish college then if your still together and want a baby then go from there