Im worried about my daughter

Question

Hi, Im 35 years old with a 13 year old daughter, shes very pretty and slim etc. I know she started her period about 2 years ago and i thought she was quite innocence. I am a safe, caring mum but do give her a little freedom. Recently she went to her best friends party with about 20 people and i thought it would be quite safe.. i got told there would be no achohol. But i know about these parties as i was young once and i no there probably would be. I thought my daughter would be a bit more grown up and not get drunk. If she did, i suppose shes young and everything but i have heard people talking about how she had s*x with 3 guys that night. She was meant to have her period 2 weeks ago and she missed it. I am taking her to the gp but is it normal for teens of so young to behave like this?

Answer 1

Ask your daughter, she's the only one who knows the truth of it all.

Answer 2

u have to talk to her about da stuff dats been happening before its to late..bt girls like her r b*****s,, sori..i hav classm8s like dat and they r really into boys,,idiotas.... so while shes young. do evrythng u can..

see look im 11years old. and my parents gives me the freedom to go parties, or friends' house bt i am nt like ur daughter but here is an advice --- make her watch movies or videos or jst explain 2 her what does happen when someone has early pregnancy,, bt im sure ur daughter learned about sexually education.like about when someone has period, she has must have a bit distance from boys..and blablabla

and 1 more thing care and support ur daughter..kids needs dat.

XOX'nix.

Answer 3

Have a good talk with her, kids are growing up far too fast these days..

Answer 4

congrats! its a w***e!

Answer 5

no its not .

your daughter is heading for disaster,either pregnant or aids.

her behavoir is totally disgusting and she needs taking in hand

Answer 6

Sorry i do not believe this either in the space of a few hours you have gotten a test and shes pregnant as well

AND you added she is very pretty and slim SO WHAT did you feel the need to add this for ?

Answer 7

I would take your daughter out to dinner and talk to her.  She may tell you more than you want to know, but at least she might tell you.  Teens are more grown up than they have been in years past.  Tell her the consequences of her actions.  She just might listen.

Answer 8

Sounds like you've answered your own question.

Teens misbehave all the time. I know I did. I was out of control.

Girls love attention and all it takes is for one guy to say the right thing at the right time and she would put away the values and do what she might regret later.

I am a little shocked at 3 guys in one night though. That is really actually gross. Maybe that was an exaggeration.

Have her take a home pregnancy test to see if it will be a while before going to the doctor.

Sit down and talk to her. She probably thinks she is not getting enough attention or something at home.

Keep in mind teens love to project that they are so much older than they are and they claim to know everything.

Answer 9

I am so sorry that your family is in this terrible situation through your daughter's silliness and naivety. Still, she needs your support right now more than anything in the world.

That doesn't mean that you can't tell her how you feel. Let her know how sad and angry you are that she has lied to you and betrayed your trust.

You decided to give her more responsibility than she could handle, and you allowed her to go to a party knowing that there would probably be alcohol there. Given that she's only 13 and you thought she was "quite innocent", wasn't it over-optimistic to expect her not to get drunk? Even if she didn't set out to drink, a pretty young girl at a party will get plied with booze by boys unless there are adults around to make sure things don't get out of hand.

That doesn't change the fact that she has behaved appallingly and destroyed her reputation as well as your trust. She knew that you wouldn't like what she did, or she would not have lied to you about it. It will take a long while for you to rebuild faith in each other.

Then you need to get her to the doctor so that the best course of action can be decided. Whatever you all agree is the best course of action, she has to understand that this will be a difficult and possibly destructive experience.

An early pregnancy can have awful consequences - it could damage her body. Having the child could also have very negative consequences. She could have the baby adopted but the emotional trauma would be awful. Even if she wants to keep her child, she has no right to expect you and her father to take on the financial responsibility for her mistake, or to bring up her baby. Yet she's too young to cope on her own. Whatever is decided, it will be difficult for the whole family.

Kids behave in ways they see modelled and approved of on TV, in society, and by their parents and peers. If the behaviour of celebs and  the gossip magazines and relaity shows seem to them to be natural and to have adult approval, that's how they'll behave. We are sexualising our children more and more, but it seems we're not also giving them the information they need to cope with their growing sexuality.

I wish you and your daughter a positive solution to this situation.

Answer 10

Well,  I'm pretty sure your daughter's an idiot (which, I'm sure you've now figured out). Take her to the doctor, and help her decide what to do. Adoption is a great option for couples who cannot conceive and your daughter is still dealing with the consequences of her actions. No matter what decision she is forced to make, it will be tough.  

Answer 11

I so remember those days,if indeed she got drunk then she might not remember what she did! So in that case I think maybe she should be taken to the doctor right away! Teenagers do crazy stuff and probably 10 time crazier than you think!! So don't try and be her friend be the mom and talk to her about what you think she should do in times like those and please remind her of the constant ongoing AIDS virus that is taking over and pregnancy that 13 year old girls can't handle. hpe you get through this and good luck.

Answer 12

i have to say something because everyone is answering this and being quite harsh ...this is totally not your fault. these days teenagers will do what they want wether you give them to much freedom or try and lock them away! and as for teenage s*x id be shocked to find a 13 yr old girl who wasn't sexually active or at least contemplating it! my mother was fantastic when i was younger and i always felt i could tell her everything although she was strict when it came to boyfriends she sat me down and explained everything including contraception but being a typical teenager i laughed it off and I'm now the mother to Stanley.

And as for all these women judging you they think the sun shines out of the children's ****'s i bet if they really thought about it they don't no what they're children are up to.

oh and for the 3 in one night teenagers also exaggerate!

Answer 13

LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER ewwwww Whores !

Answer 14

sadly nowadays it is normal but that does not make it ok...something has to be done because in the long run u are the one to blame.... don't try to be her friend be her mother even if it means being hard on her but at the same time don't make her rebel against you ...i know this because i was like that once and i know what she is capable of doing...she is headed for worst so stop seeing her as an innocent little girl and prepare for the worst....goodluck and if you want to talk more about this situation i am more than willing to talk im majoring in child psycology.

Answer 15

well according to your other answer you had a baby at 16. so what do you expect? the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. if your daughter really is pregnant at age 13 after s*x with 3 different guys, thats disgusting.  

Answer 16

13 years old and pregnant. *Faints

I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I would be sitting that girl of yours down and with a strict tone tell her you want to know the truth and  you want it now!!! With something this serious she needs to know that lieing is not going to get her anywhere. She needs to be taken to the doctors asap and then have him evaluate the situation with you.

Good luck man and I would make sure that you are getting through to her because in the long run you are going to be the one supporting her with that baby.

Answer 17

I think that you need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk. It sounds like your daughter is heading down the wrong road and fast! Sadly, teenagers are having s*x at younger ages then ever before. You need to make sure that she is educated about STD's and pregnancy. I would also cut back on the 'freedom' that you give her. That is unacceptable behavior from a 13 year old. Nip this in the butt now before the problem grows. Also talk to your daughter about the effect this will have on her reputation in school. I'm sure she doesn't want to be known as the town sl*t. Take her to the OBGYN and have them do a complete STD (including HIV) and pregnancy test. And discuss your concerns with the doctor before your daughter is seen by him/her. Putting her on birth control might also be a wise choice. Good luck!

Answer 18

OMG...you SHOULD be worried..and NO this is NOT typical for kids THIS young to behave this way...your daughter is obviously allowed TOO MUCH freedom, you stated you knew there would be alcohol at a 13 year olds party and you allowed her to go anyway...(you are not a responsible parent if that is the case, so STOP telling yourself you are) Your poor daughter is suffering from a lack of Parental Guidance. Since she is OBVIOUSLY sexually active, take her in to see her Pediatrician, and sadly more than likely a Obstetrician since her period is 2 weeks late! Come on you're going to have to START being a Mom here...your child is out-of-control and it is your fault! OMG 3 GUYS IN ONE NIGHT????

Answer 19

Get real and get tough. She's not a little girl any more

Answer 20

I hate to worry you more but I'm only 26 and I remember when I was at school kids age 13 up would go out to the park get some cheap cider get drunk and have s*x in the bushes.  I never went to those parties but some of my friends did.  One of them had slept with about 30 boys before she was 16 she was 'normally' sexually active for the group. The S****y girls were having 3-somes.  Out of my year of 300 probably half had s*x before they were 15.

I read about a thing called 'daisy chaining' that has been happening at teenage parties where everyone partner swaps and tries to form the biggest chain of boys and girls alternating partners until everyone has slept with everyone in turn.  

Kids are growing up too fast. I would sit her down and have a very calm chat with her about s*x, contraception etc and tell her your fears.  If you are worried that she has had s*x I would get her to do a pregnancy test at home with you, or lie and tell her she has to do a pee sample for the doctor,(you can get a pot from your doctors) and test her urine yourself in secret.  If the doctor does the test he/she doesn't have to tell you the results.  Then I would get your daughter on the pill, give her loads of condoms and get her to have full STD testing to be on the safe side.  

You won't be able to stop her from doing it again if she has had s*x but at least you can try and help prevent her becoming pregnant or getting a STD.

Answer 21

She may not ever talk to you about it cause you're her Mum, its hard I know but the more you push for answers the more distant she will get, but I would recommend getting her to go somewhere that is just for young people. We have a place for 13 to 25 year olds. It covers everything from contraceptive advice to counselling to personal development training. It's confidential and free and kids feel a lot more comfortable talking to youth workers than they do to their parents (listen to them more as well lol) I used to be a youth worker a dealt with many similar issues. Have a look around or ask your Dr, Health visitor etc if there is anything like that in your area. If you are in the UK Connections will probably know where they are locally.

Good luck with it all!

Answer 22

this is pretty good, you have everyone believing you!!!

Answer 23

It's too late now to be worried - no it's not common for 13 year olds to get drunk and participate in group s*x. Now your only option to help her is to force her to take responsibility for her mistakes and stop babying her.

Answer 24

well the deed is done - what you do about it is up to you - she should not in my opinion have gone to parties where there was no parential control.  She will need your support but must not be allowed to think what she has done is fine.

Answer 25

I understand your fears but I cant understand why you are talking to us instead of her. You must also realise that your child may be sensible and adult while at home with your but will be very different when with her mates.

Answer 26

its completely normal for a teen to miss her period,but if she`s sexually active. i would be worried! i would talk to a doctor.and if she is losing weight she could be stressed i would seek therapy, please fell free to email me any time [e-mail]





1800-395 -help. for centers. and free counseing for parents the boys and girls town national help line 18004483000

Answer 27

Haha. You daughter is what we call a s**t in america. A w***e. A prostitute. A stripper(maybe). A pornstar. A drug addict. She had s*x at twelve.  She might be pregnant. that would be funny. Can you say sketch comedy. She goes to parties and drinks at 13? Didn't start till I was 15 and she's probably drinkin something real fruity. haha.

Answer 28

i think you should talk to her about your worries and concerns like a conversation instead of a lecture as you could push her further into things you don't want her do.

Answer 29

there is something underlying going on, my heart goes out to you, it must be a serious worry, it can be hard for children to openly talk to parents especially about s*x, drugs, and alcohol. try and get her to agree to talk to someone who she can openly talk to,

http://teenadvice.about.com/

http://uk.dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Cult...

  i hope your daughter will be ok, xx

Answer 30

you should tell your daughter that having a used condom in her bag is nasty

Answer 31

This might not be the case, but I am thirteen years old and all my friends are thirteen. We make stuff up ALOT. Seriously, always bragging about how far we've gone, usually its just us making stories up. Maybe shes just pissing about with her friends. And girl's periods can be very irregular, it might just be a coincidence. But you should take her to the doctor's anyway. If she really has had s*x, I must say she has alot of guts. All the girls my age that  I know are terrified of s*x. I faint at the sign of a p***s hah, but we do like to act all grown up as if we have actually done it. So yeah, dont get so worried about it.